The most popular Facebook status message I’ve had so far this year is a hilarious take on some Biblical advice for single women. It goes like this:
“To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: ‘Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.’ While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz.”
It’s funny, but also quite serious…and for the purposes of this article, I’m directing the seriousness to the guys.
A very dear friend of mine, after being hurt by a number of “Boaz’s relatives” cried out to me in frustration, exclaiming: “THERE’S SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG WITH TODAY’S GENERATION OF MEN!!”
Would you agree with her? If you do, what do you blame it on? Porn? Videogames? Excessive estrogen-like hormones in our food supply? Lack of guidance from fathers who didn’t father?
Would love to get your thoughts.
A breath of fresh air came from a former student of mine, who visited the school I work for right after experiencing first week of college. I’m blessed that he sees me more than a mere teacher, but as a personal mentor who he trusts with not only in his academic development, but his development as a man. This is what he said:
“You know, Mr. Carlo, the guys in my class talk about what being a man is, and for them it’s about the ability to drink lots of alcohol and stuff like that. I wanna show them what real manhood is…based on what the Bible says.”
Thank God there are still guys like that…but they seem to be getting on the endangered species list. This is partly because attitudes like this have to be taught. Boys have to be trained, they have to be built.
It is easier to build a boy than to repair a man.
I’ve given my professional life, and my online life, to building these kinds of boys. My blog site is mainly about parenting, directed more towards dads, but proper manhood in general seems to be a topic I’m also emphasizing as of late.
In fact, this piece in particular is a combination of two of my articles from that site:
(Sorry, I don’t think DF allows links, so you’ll have to copy and paste if you wanna visit them)
Most of the info is from the first article, but let me share something from the second one. Below are heartfelt statements that a young man asks of himself when it comes to his treatment of his special lady.
- The parents of my girlfriend place their trust in me. I will not violate it.
- I will respect my girlfriend as I expect other men to respect my sister.
- I will respect womanhood, because my mother is a woman.
- I will ask my girlfriend to do nothing I would be ashamed of if my mother found it out.
- My girlfriend has given me the honor and pleasure of her company. It is wrong for me to expect more in payment for this date.
- My girlfriend will be a wife and mother someday. She must be an example to her children and the pride of her husband. I will help her to be as pure and decent as I want my wife to be.
- Manhood means strength of character as well as body. Lack of self-control is a sign of weakness. I want my girlfriend to know that I am manly.
- God is everywhere, sees everything, knows everything. Darkness may hide me from people, but it cannot hide me from God.
I fell very far from this standard when I was single, and I hope my son will not. I also pray that my two daughters will be pursued by men who hold these statements dear.
I (re)assured my frustrated friend above that men like these still exist. However, they won’t pop up like mushrooms. They have to be diligently built.
I don’t want my above mentioned student to stand alone. There should be more like them who are willing to go against the flow and truly be men; men who strive for maturity and integrity; men who don’t go out hunting for women, but instead heroically stand guard to protect them.
Are you willing to be this kind of man? Are you willing to build the next generation of men to be like this?
The two articles I mentioned have more explanations on the topic and can help you get started. Feel free to visit.
author: Carlo Alado
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- Guys, Manny’s Faith Was Not Responsible For His Loss…or Was It? - December 9, 2012
- Will the Real Men Please Stand Up! - July 13, 2012
- Tips on How to Make a Marriage Last - June 19, 2012
- We Have Great Power to Influence Our Children…for Better or Worse - June 8, 2012
- On Becoming a BETTER LOVER - March 23, 2012
- 2011 Year In Review from a Cagayan de Oro dad-blogger - January 15, 2012
- A parenting word about gift giving - November 8, 2011
- The day my father died - October 19, 2011