Why are women hard to understand?

 

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Fourscore and even so decades ago, we get the branding. We’re used to it, somehow. Often, women are associated with peculiarity and vagueness being misunderstood by the society especially-MEN . Not really sold to this idea because in as much as I wanted to understand men too, I’d like to say, it’s way HARDER.

I am not apologetic about being a woman. After all, I benefit from being one most of the time. I call it, “the perks of being an eba”. Chadaaan! Our favorite “ladies first”! We get to fall in line first, we get the seat, we get the doors opened even if we don’t put pressure on it, we get pursued, we get fetched, we get HI’s  and hello’s, we get someone to bring our bags, ! Not only that, we can wear heels, up do our hair and even put some colors on our face. Fair entitlement isn’t it? 😛

Now , why am I writing this article? Is it just because I say no to mundane afternoon on a coffee maybe? No.

I think that there’s more to find out in every woman. The idea and meaning of a woman has somehow been perverted by the world. Stereotypes there were in which I believe is far from the truth. I’d like to think that women are not problems to be solved rather a mystery to be discovered.

I honestly do not agree that we are hard to understand. I think that it’s more appropriate to say that women are challenging. There is a certain degree of difficulty but then when you try to win it over, that is when you have unveiled the BEAUTY. Men were created for challenges, .therefore, they were created to see our beauty. The only question is HOW?

I am no expert to giving advice nor in educating people on what’s and what not’s. but a part of me says ‘why not try’. So I’ll lay our cards out. Perhaps this may be of help. Much of the prologue. SO, WHO ARE WE, REALLY?

 

WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL.

That is by nature. Almost always I wonder how a woman’s heart can be like a pandora’s box of mixed emotions and I wonder too how in the world anatomy cannot explain which X chromosome was responsible for that and how, are we most likely to make people understand that it’s because of highs and lows of progesterone levels? Science cannot do the talking here.

Your mom, sister, friend, girlfriend-all of us have been bestowed with a heart a little more vulnerable than that of men. To science and human anatomy, it says because we use the right side of our brain. To religion, it says we are created by God in His image and likeness- remember how the bible talks about God being soft hearted, longing for our love and jealous of our attention? Exactly what women are like. The only difference is that, God doesn’t get disappointed as much as we do. He doesn’t throw on tantrums nor nags about it.

I am very much guilty of this. I know how easily I get affected by things around me. Things that matters to us, people that greatly affects us, events that doesn’t go our way. Have you had a female friend who posts status on Facebook from time to time –feeling sad, feeling pretty, feeling pissed, feeling angry with all the emoticons and punctuation marks? You get the picture. Some women are good at controlling reactions while others aren’t.

They say that maturity comes with age. Forgive me but I want to disagree. I know some people whose age are far distant than the rest but does not know how to count their numbers. Many of us have difficulty when it comes to self-awareness and self-determination. Women- in particular agonizes in this area of responsibility. I remember having a conversation with a friend. Our topic was about emotions of men and women. She gave me an example of how a woman(s) emotion is like. “ we are like a purse or a bag-our feelings are the inside of it-a collection of mixed make up, wallet, toiletries, and whatever we normally put inside of it. It’s all mixed up. When a concealer squeezes, it affects all others. And men? They’re more like drawers. Each aspect of their life has compartments. Easier to determine where to get what. And if the toothpaste at the bottom squeezes, it wouldn’t affect everybody else because again, they have set each other apart. Okay. At the back of my mind I was like, are they really more organized than we women are? The answer is no. although reality check, there are times I would say.

We are distinctive in our ways. We will always be more emotional than men. We will always cry our lungs out when we can no longer contain our inside. We will always bear a tender heart- to some extent I don’t like. I wish I had a sturdy heart so I won’t easily cry over a romantic movie or perhaps pocket my emotions and pretend as if I don’t care at all. But no, I was fashioned to be more subtle, to be tender, to be vulnerable. Because women are nurturers. These emotions that encapsulate us are the same exact emotions God has for we are created in His likeness. The world needs more of a caring soul to which women are most capable. And with that, I am thankful.

WOMEN LONG TO BE LOVED.

Women of all ages and sizes long to  receive a kind of love that would make her feel  she is essential and that she matters. I didn’t have much memories of my childhood playing Barbie dolls nor a good playtime with my father- or perhaps, if there were, those maybe memories  I intently tried not to remember.  I once read something that strike the  core of my being. It was I think a book written for femininity. There it was pointed how a father partakes a huge role in the becoming of a woman. He should be the very example of how  a woman is treated with love and respect. He is supposed to make her feel she is a princess and she is captivating. Sadly, my childhood , as far as I can remember, were confined in the four corners of our home and our school . compelled to study my lessons  instead of playing around. My father was most of the time away-miles away. I grew up with the idea that he works to earn for our living,  For me to be able to continue with my studies and for us to have food on the table.

Our interaction was more of  long distance calls and snail mails. He wasn’t present during recognition days although, whenever possible he tries to go home( if his contract permits).  Growing up I had to understand that my mom is the only person I can run to if something unlikely happens or if something good happens. Somewhere along the growing up stage, I felt like I was robbed with a good father-daughter relationship. Letters, cards and phone calls weren’t enough. I think it’s more of the presence I longed for. Although I grew up as a strong woman after all the meandering experiences before reaching my quarter life, I can sense that somewhere beneath the strength lies the heart of a woman asking more of her father.

I believe that most women of today has the same exact sentiment as I had. Father-less generation. And it is alarming. Little do they know how essential a father is to a woman. He needs to show her she is lovely and that she deserves the best for she is his princess and a princess doesn’t settle for less. I hope that men will be able to see how important it is for them to step out and become a good father to their daughters. And if you are still single, great. Much time for preparation. We need more Godly men who will be good husbands to their wife and father to their daughters. And if there is one good man, praise God. It will be one less lonely girl then.

WOMEN DESIRE TO BE BEAUTIFUL

With all those fashion magazines and lifestyle websites that teaches what a woman should look like and should have, it’s obvious many women are swept away- blindsided. I can’t be any guilty of this. Growing up I used to believe that it takes a beautiful woman to attract a man. Although I am a huge fan of women who are intelligent ,I cant deny the fact that looks are but of course, far essential as well! The world has highlighted the concept of beauty as the skinny models dressed with minimal cloth flaunting curves and basically showing off more skin. I don’t know if they take this quote literally “less is more” 😀 kidding aside, I know I’m guilty of this . I love dresses and skirts not for the reason of showing my internal organs though but more of, “it complements my figure well”. I thought it was okay. Or should I say it was cool specially if you can pull it off , never realizing that my choice of fashion statement has a lot to do with how I wanted to be perceived by others. More so, I realized that if a woman dresses inappropriately, she attracts the wrong kind of men. A real man wants a lady. And to become a lady means acting like one.

God created Adam but He said it is not good for a man to be alone thus, He created Eve. He fashioned eve as beautiful and pleasing to the eye. And tadaaa! Adam was captivated by her beauty! Women desire to be beautiful, to be captivating. The idea of someone looking at us in awe of our beauty is a foretold reverie.

If you’re woman asks you , “am I pretty?” “do you find me adorable?’’ “did you miss me? And the most common “do you love me?” oh please tell her yes! You’re answer can make or break her self steem. Believe me. And when she buys lippies and some pastels for her face? Support her. She wanted to be beautiful in your eyes. Compliment her. It wouldn’t really hurt if she puts a little make up on. A real man acknowledges.

When I was still studying a subject in communication arts, I learned that 90% of how others perceive you consists of your personal appearance. This is by the way in the context of first sight. From the way you stand to the way you talk to the way you dress up. How true is this? You go to an expensive jewelry shop wearing flip-flops and sando, do you think the sales lady will accommodate you same way as he accommodates those who walks in with an LV bag and valentino shoes? Na-ah. We live in a judgmental world- where most opinions and perceptions are nothing but shallow misconceptions.

BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DIP. I hope that more than just trying to beautify ourselves from the outside, we also take time improving what’s on the inside. Beauty is a splendor. For me, it is a God-given gift that needs to be treasured and maintained. But physical beauty does not suffice it all. We must work on the beautification of our inner beings, our hearts, our minds, our tongue, our soul. Wouldn’t it be great if apart from the physical beauty bestowed on each of us is a beauty that penetrates not only the eyes but hearts of many? How beautiful is it to see an illuminating light from the inside-out?

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight “(1 peter 3:3-4)”

WOMEN LOVE DEEPLY

So, you like her and then you pursued her and then this happened-she finally stumbled into the idea of falling in love with you. Now, you enter the gates towards her ocean. Ocean so deep and so wide. Sometimes, you may feel like drowning, but I hope you find it as the only sea worth exploring. she will never be perfect. From time to time she may be hot and/or cold. There will always be women way better than her .keep her anyway. Because now that you have her and her heart, she will try her best to give you what you deserve even if it means giving up her fins and tails.

She may be clingy at times-because she loves you. She may be jealous at times-because she loves you. She may be over reacting at times-because she loves you. She has entrusted her heart to you, don’t play with it. You have become her prince, make her a princess.

We don’t just throw ourselves into any passerby. We don’t just simply say yes to a man who declares his love and affection. We set standards. Most men think that competition is about what they possess-money, car, position. They got it all wrong. Those things are just a plus. I don’t know with other women but to me and to most of the women I know, we don’t look for men who has bigger wallets or paychecks. We are more impressed with men who secures us of their loyalty. Surely who doesn’t want a more comfortable lifestyle? But to a woman with an appetite for dignity, she wouldn’t mind because she can buy herself whatever she desires to have. The rule is basically simple. LOVE HER. If she wasn’t beautiful, then why did you catch yourself looking at her? If she wasn’t worth your time then why did you notice her?

She loves at the innermost of her being. She is worth it. Give her the love she deserves.

To really understand a woman is an understatement. Poignant double standards of society and perverted concepts of today’s culture had it all wrong. We are more than just a piece of makeup, more than a subject to an article, more than a chic outfit and more than the size of our chest.

I hope that women would become not just who they want to be but who God wants them to be.

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About romebacsain

she is a Princess of God.Twenty-ish. Nurse. Wanderer. Dreamer. she loves to write, to read books and to travel. Currently taking up her Masters Degree in Nursing at University of Sto Tomas. she chases adventure after adventure. she loves to explore her capabilities away from the confines of others' beliefs. she untiringly wills to discover herself. she wants to be the woman in Proverbs 31.