When you bloom…

I was blind but now I see the real meaning of life. I was blind from the very beginning. Bombarded with emptiness and resentment, that’s all I knew. I don’t know the reason either. I just don’t like to talk. I don’t interact with others. I don’t have friends. I can be independent. Why would I care? As if they care for me too. I understand it already. I don’t exist for them, so do I?

Everything is perfectly fine with me. Life is unfair. Only pain is reasonable. You just need to accept the fact that people will hurt you. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow or the next day, or the other day. What’s sure is, it will come unexpectedly. I detest living in this world. I know the world detest me too. I don’t understand why I need to live this life. What’s the purpose and why I need to get hurt. If the world loves me, I’ll be able to feel it. If the world cares for me, I’ll be able to feel it. If the world is for me, why can’t I feel it?!

One day, unusual things happened. I need to be in a remote. I need to be with the person whom I’ve never known and person who’s not kind at all. And that moment, the little hatred and peevish I had before became bigger. I felt alone, solemn and coward. I found no one to comfort me. That’s what I always thought. But in amazing grace, someone embraced me and wiped off my tears. It’s Him. It’s Him that I’ve been ignoring for a long time. It’s Him who loves me so much. And now, all I want is to love him back. All I want is to surrender my life. I’ve finally found the reason for living. And it’s living with His love. An undying and unfailing love.

The world will consume weak people. We are not for the world but for the Lord. And the Lord God said: “If you never feel pain, how will you know I’m a healer? If you never feel sadness, how will you know I’m a comforter? If life is perfect, how will you know Me?” See? God is always with us.

I think this is the best story I can tell and share you. It’s all about me and how the Lord changed me. Now, I have many friends and I am very blessed. Still, the Lord is my best friend and He is for me.

I’ll leave you a message from one of my favorite writers: “Being happy is not the purpose of your life but to live Godly and be in touch to the Lord.”  I hope you learned something from me. God bless!

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