You know you’re not ready to love again when you’d rather break than fall in love with the one you’re with; when you’d rather leave the feelings hanging than give in; when you’d rather keep your sentiments inside than fix things; when you’re jealous but would rather be dead than confess. Perhaps it’s their own way of protecting themselves from possible risk.
Trauma, some dictionaries describe it as an event or situation that causes great distress and disruption. But not everyone realizes they’re going through such until they realize that they have let go of so many people in their lives because they were certain that they would only put them back to that excruciating pain if they let them in. They have shut themselves off and they’ve hardened their hearts enough to never let that very little respect and love left for themselves slip away.
They can never be the easiest people to love. You will strive hard everyday of your life proving that you’re different. You’ll be like walking on eggs because they’ll be waiting for you to commit mistakes and they will watch out for signs that you are just like any other. They’ve learned to never trust feelings they weren’t so sure of so they will doubt every kindness you’d do to them; they would never let their guards down. They’ve lost the capacity to love forever and you will have to live with that very little love they could offer if you choose to love them the rest of your life. After all, that’s everything left to them.
For, loving again is like cutting their wounds again and rubbing salt in it. No, they are not insensitive but they are just wiser enough to never show you their emotions. They’re giving no one the authority to hurt them.
Can you actually stand to be with a person like that, selfish and self-centered? Can you love a person who’ll keep pushing you away and will never fear losing you because they already found comfort in solidarity? Can you trust them even if all they do is doubt you? Can you love someone while battling with them everyday, proving your worth? Do we love to be loved back?
What if the only person you wish to love can never reciprocate it the way it’s ought to be? Is there really such thing as unconditional love?
If you don’t think you can embrace all imperfections, then, might as well, don’t even start. ?