Transfiguration : Chance–Reformation–Serenity

serene
serene

I’ve been single for more than a year now. After a life changing experience with my recent relationship, I felt like I wouldn’t have the guts to take a step forward to carry on and continue my life. For seven long years I dedicated myself with a man that I decided to settle and surrender my whole life with him. I intended to share my remaining years beside him, it would take a long time though. But the biggest blow in our relationship came when he wanted to call it quits.

After a few months of separation, I learned that he and my best friend are now together. I was devastated, I felt that I was totally been wrecked by the two persons I dearly loved, but what can I do? It’s not as if I would want to take them back?

For months I lived in anguish. I surrounded myself with good friends but when I’m alone I could feel the loneliness and the need to take revenge. Everyday I would want to reclaim myself from that kind of pain because of so much hate that’s within me.

Then I sought God. I prayed relentlessly, everyday. I was beginning to understand His plans, He tends to talk to me–a lot. I kept my self surrounded with people who believes in Him. I changed radically. My eyes were opened to the things that God wanted me to see at the very first time I surrendered myself to Him. I started to feel the love that I so deserved. Love from my family and friends. And though I don’t have someone who could offer me something romantically at this time, I know God is always with me.

He keeps on telling me to wait and be patient. I just realized that all the hurts and sufferings were just temporary. God just prepared me and tamed me to be stronger because He has great and big plans for me, just for me. I bravely forgiven those people who scarred me. I gave them the forgiveness that they didn’t even ask for. I believe that it is the most mature thing I ever did in my entire existence. Though I am not into any intimate relationship right now, I keep on attracting the right persons in the form of friends.

I learned to heal naturally and even love myself more. I always keep on complaining and asking God to give me someone who would love me unconditionally not seeing that it was already been given to me, right there, on the cross. All this time He keeps on bestowing me the answers to my prayers and I was like always too late to notice. I was loved, I am being loved and will be  forever loved by God and it pains me for recognizing it just now. But I am with so much gratitude that He gave  me the chance and time to heal.

God is the greatest artist I’ve ever known. Every picture is already painted, every person is already tasked to bump into your life just right before you know them, every word is predefined just right before you say it. Everything is already planned. Stop going in to your own directions you draw for yourself. God is the real author of your life, let Him have His pen that you stole away from Him and let God write your love story.  He already loved you just before you were born. He still loves you. Trust me. Trust Him. He won’t give and let His son die on the cross if not.

About Serene

loves reading and writing. enjoys cooking. writer at heart i.t in profession.