To us who struggle


Each of us has our own personal struggles which we alone feel. It’s very easy to tell someone to “just move on” or “just shake it off”, but it’s better said than done for the one who actually experiences the endeavor.

There are those who struggle with broken hearts. Majority of people have had the experience of getting their hearts broken while some may have had the experience of breaking someone else’s heart. Either way, it is just as difficult and horrendously painful to have or to cause a heartbreak. It is very easy for another person to say “Move on, just forget about it. What’s past is past. There are many fish in the sea” and all the other signature statements which we usually tell our heartbroken friends; yet, if put in their shoes, we, ourselves wouldn’t probably have the guts to actually do. So for you whose hearts are broken right now, I can’t belittle what you are feeling; because I, myself have gone through that. All I can tell you is “just feel the pain”.

Don’t ever feel pressured to take a shortcut to being okay. There is no deadline. It took time to engrave that person in your heart so expect that it will also take time to get used to the gap left when that person went away.

There is no definite way for you to move on. What worked for your friend/s may or may not work for you. You have a unique experience of the relationship you once had with someone, so being able to move past the heartache of it ending would also require a unique set of practices/behaviors/methods which is suited only for you.

But you know what? It will be okay. Trust me. No matter how long it takes, just keep moving forward.

There are those who struggle with unrequited love. It is so mainstream to encounter people who we know are in the bittersweet plight of being in love with someone who simply cannot love them back. It’s easy for others to say “Don’t make a fool out of yourself for someone who doesn’t deserve you”, yet, we know very well that it’s not that easy to actually do it. When you love, you just love. It’s up to you whether or not you will choose to stay in a one-way relationship with someone, or if you would rather let go of that love for the sake of being loved the way you believe you deserve to be.

I, nor anyone else, am not in the position to tell you what to do regarding that matter because you alone know how to gauge your capacity to love – whether it goes back to you or not. Let me just share these statements (I just forgot who said them): “Love is not love until it is given” and “You have never truly experienced love unless you have loved someone who cannot love you back; because to love truly is to love unconditionally”. So love if you must, up until the point when you will eventually realize when enough is enough. When you’ve simply had too much and you just decide to love yourself by letting go of that love for that person.

Trust me, you will get to that point, eventually.

There are those who struggle with finances. I know everyone will agree that almost everyone deals with this one. Rich or poor, all of us have this issue with finances. The poor don’t have enough to supply them with what they need whereas the rich may have much, but some of them still crave to have more (Whether it be to buy what they want or as a means of just being in the upper part of the social class). When it comes to money matters, it’s very hard for one to perceive he has enough – well, realistically and generally stating an observation, that is.

Money will never make someone rich. It will never be an indicator of how successful you are, nor will it signify that you are better than the rest of the world. As my mom always tells us, “What’s money, paper only”. Well I do acknowledge the fact that we need money to survive and purchase what we need; but let us remember not to crave for too much especially if we are not willing to work on having it. My parents taught us not to live in luxury and not to spend on vanities or extravagantly expensive branded stuff. Hmm.. You know what? Sometimes it feels better to put your hard earned money not on things, but on helping others who you know really need it.

If you want to have enough money, you don’t necessarily have to have more of it. You just have to be thankful for what you have and live within your means. If you want to escalate your financial state and move your lifestyle a notch higher, then you have to work doubly hard for it. Never focus on luxuries until you fulfill your necessities first.

There are those who struggle at work or in school. Subjects and teachers are too tough; workload is overwhelming; information overload; no time to study; too tired to work; and the ultimate challenge of dealing with BULLIES! A lot of people have made these complaints at some point in their lives. Believe me, it’s not only you, there are a lot of us, really!

Tough subjects and teachers? Study harder!

Overwhelming workload? Establish a pattern in which you can be more productive. Give yourself time to adjust and don’t compare your routine to that of another. Know what works best for you.

No time to study? Try minimizing your time on computer games, social media and gimmicks by at least 30 minutes (the longer, the better); you will definitely have more time to study.

Too tired to work? Think about those who are tired from going from one interview to another just to have a job. Think about those who are tired doing dirty/dangerous/risky jobs, yet still do it instead of not having one. Appreciate what you have before God gives it to someone else who can appreciate it more.

Bullies at work or in school? There would be no bullies if there would be no one to bully. Stop playing the part of the victim and learn to stand up for yourself. Confront that person/those persons up front. If they don’t budge, tell someone of higher authority. Just do something rather than letting yourself suffer from it every single day without doing anything at all. Bullies don’t just magically disappear, you know.

There are those who struggle with their health. Health is undoubtedly one that if taken away, is very hard to restore to its previous state. There are those who acquire acute diseases – and you are lucky if you have been treated of that. There are those who develop chronic diseases and those who have debilitating or untreatable ones. I know, the feeling of being sick sucks big time! I have been a patient so many times and I have experienced tremendous pain from my previous hospitalizations. I also have a condition which may just attack occasionally, but when it does, the pain is close to unbearable. So I can’t imagine how worse it is for those who have to experience that much pain every day for the rest of their lives. Well, if you are one who is struggling with health issues right now, be strong and just keep a positive mindset. I know it hurts, but you are never alone. God is always with you in this battle. Just don’t give up and keep on fighting. If you are one of those fortunate ones who are in good health, pray for those who are sick and give encouragement and spread happiness to them.

There are those who struggle with society. Racism. Discrimination. Homophobia. Gender inequality. The struggle of trying hard to be accepted and blending in with the crowd. I know how it feels to set aside what you really want and who you really are just so you would be approved by the people around you because I once did just that. I had very little confidence in myself that I shunned myself away from people because I thought I was not good enough for them. I kept myself boxed in my own little corner, away from the rest of the world just because I thought I would never fit in. But then life taught me a lot of things which made me come out of my self-made cocoon and realize that I don’t have to please everybody, because I just can’t – and it shouldn’t matter! Be confident that you are wonderfully made by God; that no matter how much discrimination or prejudice others throw at you, you will not be taken aback. Know for a fact that your existence alone, means that you are good enough – otherwise, God wouldn’t have created you if you weren’t good enough for Him.

There are those who struggle to keep themselves alive. There are a lot of people who are struggling for their lives – those who are terminally sick, those who are in war-stricken areas, those who are (insert worst case scenario here). If you are one of them, and you are reading this, know that God is always in control. It may not be clear now why all of these are happening and it may feel like it’s very easy to give up hope, but don’t. Remember that life only stops when hope ends. I can’t find the right words to say to make you feel better and to uplift your spirits, but I can assure you this one thing: God is always with you, no matter how grave your situation is. Straight to the point – suicide should never be an option. If you think your problems are already too much for you to handle alone, you can always seek help. Verbalize. Express. Just don’t abruptly put an end to everything.

All of us have our own struggles to face. Some may not be mentioned above. We all have different problems but they are all still struggles – trials which each of us tries really hard to overcome. They all hurt. Just because my problem is different from yours doesn’t mean my life is easier. Never make a habit of belittling whatever someone else is going through because you have no idea how hard they are trying to deal with it.

We have different time frames, situations, and methods on how we cope and strive to deal with – and eventually, overcome – our own unique endeavors. What matters is that we never let these trials get the best of us. Keep on fighting. “Just keep swimming”, as Dory (Finding Nemo) said. Be assured that our God is bigger that any struggle we have. He has overcome death and He is above anything else. He is with us, always. All these happen to make us better, stronger and more understanding of others’ hurts.

Again, to us who struggle – we have an all powerful God who struggles WITH us so that we will grow and bloom into the persons we are meant to be. Keep the faith! It will be okay.

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