It’s funny how we humans react to a news item or an article just by reading the title, and in an instant, all hell breaks loose.
Wait. I’m not talking about the sensationalism which the journalists are known for but it’s how people’s emotional immaturity and trigger happy reactions can create a full-blown social media war.
Truth is – one of people’s favorite pastimes in life, aside from social networking, watching reality TVs and teleseryes , doing selfies and creating false rumors – is passing judgments to other people. Hating, bashing, people shaming and labeling in all forms have become the modern people new way of life. And with the help of social media and internet, it makes matters even worst and complicated.
Yes, we can blame it on the free data, PMS or alignments of the planets but we are all guilty of doing it in one way or another. We can argue, “But, we are only humans. Duh.” Okay fine, we are prone to making mistakes, failures and bad decisions. But part of being human also is the need to acknowledge that we do make mistakes, accept that these are all part of our learning process and then need to do something about it.
Just because one person’s ideas, lifestyle, religion, race is different from ours, it doesn’t mean the person is wrong or bad. We are all human beings. We are the highest form of life in the animal kingdom. We are not aliens nor Frankensteins. We are not androids nor AI clones. We are not even graduates of Xavier School for the Gifted Youngsters (If you’re an avid X-Men followers). We are all the same. We breathe our own life. We have our own free will. We have our own choices and pet peeves.
We are called INDIVIDUALS because we can stand on our own. It is also the perks of living in a diversified society. Our differences make the world a grand mosaic, an abstract design or an art fusion. Because we can also find beauty and power in things that we don’t really understand.
As we interact with others we realized that we can’t assume to know everything because WE DON’T. We can all be honest about it. Just because we know their names, the place they live, we have the chance to share a drink or we have mutual friends doesn’t give us the permission to cross the line in someone’s life. But the funny thing is, we also do it to people whom we haven’t seen, talked to or known personally. So we pretend. We assume that we know them. Feeling close is how we put it.
If one haven’t obtained a law degree, passed the bar or have not completed a judgeship training or have not been elected to a court, then, that person doesn’t have the right to judge other people. That may sounds literal but . . .
People may argue that anybody can have an opinion about something. Yes, it is true but being too opinionated on a superficial and emotional level without basing it on facts and truth, that is being judgmental. Even if you are a psychic, you can’t even judge a person on a mere face value or physical appearance.
We could only achieve true peace and freedom of spirit if we don’t pass judgment to other people on how they go about their business.
To each his own. But it doesn’t mean turning a blind eye on something that is happening in our surroundings nor we become dead malice about reality because we are still considered a community of people and we affect each other’s life. Everybody in this world is interconnected but we should respect our boundaries. There is a saying that . . .
“The power lies in somebody who acts and not the one who reacts.”
When we become too emotional we have the tendency to judge. When we become rational and logical we take action. I don’t really believe that being judgmental is in our DNA. Perhaps, it is more of environmental reasons, a person’s upbringing, emotional development and experiences, it may be out of fear and the need to control – meaning, there is a tendency to lash out on others because we can see our own vulnerabilities and shortcomings through them. Social media is one venue that proves a lot of us are very emotional on the way we present ourselves to the public. But too bad our hearts can’t think.
Experts call it Psychological Projection. Wikipedia says, “It is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.
So it means it is something that we have but we deny it or not aware it exists. Anybody can be guilty of that in one way or another. Honestly, I have been like that a lot of times even to the closest people in my life. And I regret it. But then i realized there is another way. To accept people as they are and understand why they live the way they live or why they act the way they do. It’s good for the over all health too.
So if we feel the hate and madness, we can only address it accordingly – with ourselves.
Being at peace with our reality is also an achievement by itself. For someone like me who is crossing the midlife threshold, I realized life is much easier to bear without the unnecessary burden of past mistakes and failures. Because as we grow older we learn that life is not all about us. Besides, universal justice will be activated that if we judge, we will also be judged. So that’s fair.
Forgiving ourselves is an important part of our journey. Keeping ourselves centered from all the chaos and confusion is difficult but it is possible. Being mindful of our thoughts, emotions and actions are the things that will put us on track. We live. We fail. We move on.
How can we achieve it?
It can be a simple motto, a vow, a mission statement or a positive affirmation, it doesn’t really matter. As long as it puts life into a whole new and different perspective. We are all the same. Nobody is greater or lesser than ourselves. We all come and leave this earth in the same manner.
Eventually, all of us will be buried six feet under the ground and will be at the mercilessness of the inescapable and partying maggots doing the rock and roll dance inside our body. It is not a very nice way to die but it is what it is. Nobody can escape reality. It is the only way to say goodbye, no matter how gross it may sound.
Then, at the end of the day , when we are alone in bed and pray . . .
The only fair judgment that we will all get is – the one from God on how we live the life that has been given us here on earth.