The Steffano Perales Interview

Interview (Photo credit: janeconstant.tripod)
Interview (Photo credit: janeconstant.tripod)
Interview (Photo credit: janeconstant.tripod)
Interview (Photo credit: janeconstant.tripod)

The Steffano Perales Interview

Are you ready for this interview? 

I’m always ready.

Since when?

Since I was a sperm in my dad’s balls.

Are you nervous?

Nope. You’re not that intimidating.

Totoong pangalan?

Reygel Saplad Perales

 Bakit Steffano?

Yan talaga dapat pangalan ko kaso nakialam ang lolo ko kaya hindi natuloy

Saan ka nakatira?

Hindi ko sasabihin baka dalawin mo ako.

Clue na lang.

Ayoko, ang kulit mo

Sige na please.

Oh sige na nga.

Nakatira ako sa isang lugar ng mga taong mahihilig kumain at walang sawang nagluluto ng kung ano-ano katulad ng sisig, papaitan, kamaro, chicharon bulalak, mekeni, pritong talaba, kuko ng dragon at paksiw na paa ng elepante. Hindi uso ang Jueteng dito. Nagliliwanag at naglalakihan ang mga lanterns namin tuwing pasko.

Papilit pa, sasabihin din naman pala.

May sinasabi ka?

Wala.

Kursong natapos.

Hotel and Restaurant Management, no choice ako.

How old are you?

19 young and fresh.

But why you look so young?

 Because I am genetically engineered to stop aging at 16 pero di ko alam ba’t lumagpas.

 Paano mo ilalarawan ang sarili mo?

 Untoroy! Ilarawan talaga? Ahm pano ba… basta mag-isip ka ng isang kaaya-aya at masarap na tanawin, ako yun. Haha,

Ang kapal  fis!

Paki mo interview ko to, gawa ka sarili mo.

Anong bagay ang gusto mong malaman ng mga mambabasa sayo?

Na single po ako.

Ano ang una mong karanasan sa pagsusulat?

 Noong nasa highschool pa ako, nagsusulat ako ng story para sa stage play. Oo laking theatro ako, talentado din naman ang lolo mo kahit papaano.

 What was your first published article?

“Ang musmos na demokrasya ng Pilipinas”

Bakit mo naisipang magsulat?

Trip ko lang, bakit ba? Itanong mo man kay Mike Portes.

Sino naman yun?

Di ko rin alam. Basta siya yung author ng “Minsan may isang Puta” na gumising sa kamalayan ng libo-libong Pilipino, isa ako dun. Napakalaki ng impluwensiya ng panulat niya sa pagkatao ko.

Talaga?

Hindi, joke lang. Tung unu, wala kana mang kagana-ganang magtanong.

Seryoso mo kasi.

Anong gusto mo, umiyak ako?

Oh siya siya. Tuloy na natin to.

Oo naman. Ang laki ng bayad ko sayo.

What’s your favourite color?

Slam book ba ito?

Sagutin mo na lang kaya.

I like black with hue saturation of 90 percent.

Why black?

 Black is dark but mysterious. It means power. Due to its versatility you can associate any colour the suit best with it. It resembles who I am.

Nakz anlalim dude!

Hukayin mo.

Saan ang kiliti mo?

Ayokong sabihin baka kilitiin mo ako.

Apoy kaba?

Oo. Gusto mo sunugin kita. Bilisan mo magtanong nagmamadali yung readers natin.

Ayy, bakit may taxi ba sa labas?

Hindi. Backhoe na may red carpet.

What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Pumasok ako sa exit ng isang mall. Sinita ako ng mga guards.

Kung magmo-model ka, anong parte ng katawan mo?

Bakit parte lang? Di pwede lahat?

Eh yun nakasulat dito eh.

Kung may gusto kang ipabago sa katawan mo anong parte yun?

Wala dahil perfect ako. Haha.

Pawising bahagi ng katawan?

Dila.

Gaano katagal ka nang nagbabahagi ng blog?

Mahina skills ko sa petsa pero parang nag-simula ako last year lang. Bago pa lang ako sa industriya. Yun oh! Anlakas maka-career!

 Tungkol saan ang mga sinusulat mo?

Sinusulat ko lahat ng pumapasok sa brain hemispheres ko. Depende kung naka-high level ang axons at neurons ko. O mas magandang sabihing kapag busog ako. Pagsusulat tungkol sa Fashion&style, Travel & Photography, food, love, lust, sex education, gobyerno, pulitika, pamilya, kultura, personal ng mga karanasan, talento, pustiso, puso negro, takip ng manhole, love life ni Kris Aquino, kung pano gumagawa ng apoy sa ilalim ng dagat si spongebob, taga-saan ba talaga si Dora, ilang kilo meron sa instagram, kung bakla ba talaga si Jollibee,  langit-ngit sa papag at halimaw sa banga.

Para kanino ang mga sinusulat mo?

Para sa lahat ng mga mahihilig magbasa, magtanong, magsaliksik, gustong matuto, mambuska, banatero, babaero, mga sawi, mga naghahanap, akyat bahay at mga taong bukas ang puso sa lahat ng mga kwentong di ko rin alam kung saan nanggaling.

What was your first published article?

“Ang musmos na demokrasya ng Pilipinas”

What inspired you to pursue writing?

My first article was approved and published in Definitelyfilipino.com. I received destructive and constructive criticisms from hundreds of readers. It inspired me to foster my craft.

What makes you unique?

 Being a pure Filipino. Walang halo. Purong-puro hanggang sa huling katas. (Baka akalain niyo alak ako.)

The weirdest thing you do.

Whenever I’m inside the car and a sad music plays on my iPod, I pretend that I’m in a movie.

 What type of person are you?

 I am the type of person who falls back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream.

Mayaman kaba?

Oo, aaminin ko mukha akong mayaman pero hindi naman talaga. Palambing naman penge pera!

Your favourite position?

Hindi ako komportable kapag nakaupo, nakakangawit. Kapag nakatayo, nakakangalay ng paa. Ayokong nakadapa, napipitpit ang long nose ko. Nakatihaya, perfect! Bahala ka kung anong isipin mo. Perv! Haha

Lights on? Lights off?

 Onturoy parang earth hour lang. Hindi ako sure laging brownout sa bahay eh.

Let’s talk about your love life.

Ayoko, pagkain na lang.

Bitter ba love life mo?

Tung unu ganun ba ako kapangit sa tingin mo?

Oi nainsulto ka?

 Hindi. Tuwang-tuwa ako. Whooo!

Love or flirting?

Flirting.

Why?

I prefer no strings attached. I don’t like commitments. Mahal ang bigas.

In what age you want to get married?

At 45

Why at 45?

May sariling bahay at wheels na ako nun. Gusto ko maging stage father and husband material. Gusto kung maibigay lahat ng kailangan ng pamilya ko.

Good luck.

 Thank you.

Nakailang girlfriends kana?

 Hindi ako nagbibilang.

What’s your turn on?

 Yung mukhang masarap……………………..kasama…(Hindi pa ako tapos, kaw ha!)

What’s your biggest turn off?

Yung mabahong hininga at utang na loob wag gawing deodorant ang bayabas ansakit sa lungs eh!

Are you still virgin?

Is that a question?

Lanta or Fresh?

Kahit ano basta lamang-tiyan.

Favourite food?

 Lahat ng halamang gubat (basta  hindi umuusok),  mga lamang dagat at pizza.

2 rice or 3 rice?

 Mukha ba akong patay gutom?

Andres Bonifacio or Jose Rizal?

Lapu-lapu

Do you believe in magic?

No. There is always science behind it. I like fantasizing though.

What’s your religion?

 I don’t have a religion, but I ain’t  an atheist so I respect yours nevertheless.

How many friends do you have?

I can’t count my blessings. I have a huge circle of friends. Some are voluptuous, macho-machohan, crank, skank, black, white, coffee color, skinny and plumps. They make me laugh till my stomach aches. We’re all stupid but beautifully stupid.

How many members do you have in your family?

 I have seven siblings. Masyadong masipag ang nanay at tatay ko.

Proudest moment of your life?

When I was walking down the aisle with mom and dad holding me tight to receive my college diploma and awards.

What’s your biggest dream?

 I always wanted to be a film maker and a fashion photographer. But since it is my biggest objective that you are asking, I simply want a better Philippines.

Do you like eating?

 Nakakahiya mang sabihin pero it’s my hobby.

At nahiya ka pa talaga.

 Nakabili kasi ako ng hiya sa kanto kanina lang, paubos na rin ‘to. Bili ka rin ng sayo.

Aren’t you scared to gain weight?

It’s my aim actually. I have a fast metabolism. No matter how much food I take, I remain sexy and yummy.

What’s your motto in life?

Time is gold. Kaya kung wala kang pera, benta mo oras mo.

 Oh tapos?

 Those people who say money can’t buy happiness just don’t know where to shop.

Saan ba kasi yung shop?

Online siya, ‘teh.

Do you like reading books?

I do, only if the title is good enough to capture my interest. I don’t read books with thousands of pages, it dozes me off.

If I have 10 chocolates in my hand and I ate 9 of them, what do I have?

I don’t know. Diabetes maybe.

Are you free tomorrow?

No. I’m expensive.

What are your hobbies?

Mag-concert sa loob ng C.R.  and collecting authenticated fashion brands like shoes, jeans, shirts, jackets,  eye wears, bags, accessories, photographs, ice cream, tinapay, plastic at bote. (parang basurero lang)

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

 You can never find an elephant with one hand.

If you’ll be trapped in an Island, and bring only one person, who would it be?

 I’ll bring Dora, that bitch has many things inside her bag.

If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

 No time at all, the wall is already built.

Kung bibigyan ka ng isang milyon para tumalon mula sa tuktok ng Burj Kalifa, gagawin mo ba?

 Hindi pa naman sira ulo ko at wala akong plano.

 Oh sige 2 million nalang.

 I’ll make it double get lost!

Ayaw mo talaga?

 Bat di mo kaya i-try p***** ina neto.

Who’s your crush?

Ms. Angel Locsin. Grabe inlove na ata ako sa kanya.

You look like Piolo Pascual?

 I’ll take that as a compliment.

Bakla ba siya?

 Ewan ko, hindi kami close.

Maaari ka bang magbigay ng ilang artikulo o blogs ng kapwa mo blogger na nagustuhan mo?

Sa totoo lang marami sila. Isa akong taga-hanga ng mga Pilipinong manunulat. Nakatutuwang isipin na marami sa atin ang handang magbahagi ng mga kwento nila. Mga simpleng kuwento mula mga kahanga-hangang tao.

 What’s your mix?

 I am Fil-Am. Half Filipino. Half Amazing.

 What is your message to your readers?

 Hello.

Habaan mo naman.

 Helllloooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Nakakatouch naman yun.

 Eto na nga seryoso na.

 Ano-anong tips ang maaari mong ibigay sa mga mambabasa na nag-iisip na ring lumikha ng mga akda?

Kapag nagbabasa hindi lang dapat ginagamit ang mga mata. Kapag nagsusulat hayaang mong puso mo ang magbibigay ng mga salita.

Keep on writing. Don’t stop, don’t edit errors if you’re not done yet, instinct tells you what to do. We have different genres in writing. The best way to convey a simple message in an extraordinary story is to be honest in your own context. Make your readers read and re-read your stories.

If you want to write a romance you must feel how is it to love and be loved.

Be inspired if you are sharing an inspiring one hence realistic at the same time.

If you are blogging a funny story then laugh out loud coz you’re so damn hilarious.

If you are writing a fictional story you have to be creative and forward, do not use clichéd dialogues coz  it’s totally disgusting.

If your niche is an investigative journalism you have to be very resourceful and can present concrete evidences.

If you are writing a sad story, cry a little.

If you are writing a story of misery try to feel the pain.

If you are stating a fact your information have to be very accurate.

Make it comprehensive if you are writing a commentary and look both sides of the story.

If you are writing an opinion expect bunch of criticisms.

Don’t write if you are angry. However rant is an exemption.

But remember words are powerful. We writers (both professionals and beginners) are responsible to our readers reactions.

Listen to your readers, but stick your words.

Don’t disregard feedbacks, it’s our food. And what counts most, is to be yourself and do not pretend anybody else. You are unique in your own artistic ways. If you think you can really rock’n roll, then you must learn how move like a jagger.

About Reygel Perales

I believe everyone has the most stupid, craziest, funniest and greatest stories to share. Please spare your precious minute to listen mine. Do visit my blog hit the link http://steffanoperales.wordpress.com/ Please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/reygelperales.wordpress.com