The Battle for LOVE..Marriage or Wedding?

What about your own wedding? It’s long overdue. When will it happen, if it ever will?

“Only God knows! Another lesson: There are certain things in life that shouldn’t be forced; may mga bagay sa buhay na hindi pinipilit. The truth is that Tony’s marriage (To Denise Yabut. – RFL) hasn’t been annulled. You know, true love is not selfish. When I entered this relationship with Tony, I was 23 and he was 19 years older than I was. I knew that he was separated but his marriage was not annulled. Honestly, I never thought that we were going to last this long.”

This long is how long?

“Twelve years. I thought that after giving birth, wala na kami. But look, we are still together.”

You do have everything except, well, the marriage.

“You know, many times I would cry over that wedding. I think I deserve it. But I can wait. You see, Tony has sacrificed so much for me, for the love of me… and I don’t even know why. So, do I have anything to complain about? Do I have to say, ‘Hey, I want that wedding?’ Tony has more than proven his love for me so many times and that is for the whole Philippines to know. So I told myself, ‘I’m not gonna pester him about marrying me; I’m not gonna pester him to get an annulment. If we are meant for each other, it will come. Going through an annulment is very painful. I love Tony so much that I won’t make him go through that anymore. That annulment has to be given to him.” — Gretchen Baretto.

Hindi ako fan ni Gretchen Baretto, dahil hindi ako mahilig sa artista. But when I did a research for my next blog, she has the most sensible and honest answer..She is very bright!

Marriage is a union of two people who truly love each other…

Wedding is a celebration or a ceremony between two people, even with or without love….

Of course its given that most of women today, gustong maging bride….Long gown, white, silk veil, sino ba naman ang ayaw maging isang reyna sa araw na iyong kasal at sa dulo ng altar ay may isang lalaking naghihintay at handa kang pakisamahan sa habangbuhay…Hindi masama ang mangarap na magkaroon ng isang wedding…It but natural for every woman to dream of having a wedding, engrande man o simple.

But marriage? Ilan sa ating mga Pilipino ang nakakaalam ng totoong kahulugan ng salitang ito? Marahil iisipin ng iba, pareho lamang ito, kailangan mayroong wedding bago magkaroon ng Marriage.. Sa tradisyong nating mga Pilipino dapat ganito at sa turo ng simbahan dapat ganyan…Tama naman and I couldn’t agree more..

But we must also understand na ang bawat tao ay magkakaiba ng panuntunan sa buhay..Maaring Marriage muna (LIVE-IN kung walang kasal) Bago ang Wedding. And we should all be aware na HINDI lahat ng ikinakasal ay may pag-ibig sa isat-isa. Nandyan ang arranged, pikot, forced wedding na tinatawag…in my 40 years of existence, i have witness all kinds of relatioship between man and woman…Naging malawak ang pang unawa ko sa lahat ng bagay at sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay….Mayroong nagsisimula sa tama na nagtatapos sa mali or vise versa…

Take the case of my grandparents, the truth was that my grandparents were never married until they both died. But they’ve lived together for 60 years with 12 children and over 40 grandchildren. They’ve lived happily without us knowing na never pala sila ikinasal. Yes, Walang kasal na nagyari kasi nga my lola was  married to a certain “Datu” somewhere in Leyte.. So when she met my lolo and eventually fell in love, at that time, they decided to live with each other… Later na nga lang namin nalaman na ganun pala ang katotohanan at lahat kami ay mga “illegitimate” lamang…=))

Sa panahon ngayon, you can stay “married” without having the wedding. They somehow call it , “de facto” or common law wife..Marami ng nagtalo between legal wife or mistress.. I was watching the news about Iggy Arroyos case. Battle between the legal wife and the common law wife.. Sad… Two established, beautiful, intelligent women pero nag aagawan sa isang lalaki. Ang isa pag aari si Iggy dahil sya ang pinakasalan, ang isa dahil sya ang mahal at pinakisamahan hanggang kamatayan….

Sa akin napakasimple lamang, Kasal ka man sa isang tao kung alam mong sa puso nya iba ang mahal nya..it is time to let go….TRUE LOVE is not selfish….Maaring magdulot ng isang napakasakit na pakiramdam ang katotohanan subalit ito ay dapat tanggapin. Ang sabi nga..

“Kung ikaw ay nagmamahal ng dalawang tao, mas piliin mo ang pangalawa dahil di ka magmamahal ng pangalawa kung mahal mo ang una”..

Marami na rin akong nabasang mga blog about legal wife and mistress at parehong may puntos dahil bawat punto ay ginawa at sinabi ayon sa bawat paniniwala ng bawat isa….

Again case to case basis ito, dahil di lahat ng mistress o kabit na tinatawag ng karamihan ay katulad ng iba na walang pakialam. Marami akong kilala na nasa ganitong sitwasyon na ang tanging naging mali lamang nila ay magmahal sa lalaking nagkataong me asawa na. At di rin lahat ng legal wife ay laging api, again its case to case basis…

Sa case ni Gretchen Baretto , maituturing man syang isang Mistress dahilan sa may legal wife pa ang kanyang partner na si Tony, but to be honestly speaking, I do admire Gretchen for her having said that message above… And for that she has my respect! That’s what I called True Love..

My point of writing this blog is for us to realize na ang isang relasyon ay di lamang isang 1 day affair like “the wedding”..It is a lifetime commitment para sa dalawang taong totoong nagmamahalan. Kasal man o hindi, legal wife ka man o hindi…ito lamang ang iyong dapat tandaan…

” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud”…