Sudden Disappearance

The feeling is not mutual. The feeling is a one fucked-up love story between me and writing. Suddenly, I leave it behind. Suddenly, all my ideas were gone. Suddenly, I stopped writing and I don’t even have an idea why it happened.

I always dreamed of having a book; most writers have this dream. Seeing writers published books, I had a known-feeling called “envy”. Envy in a good way. Envy that makes me think that I can also do what they did. Envy that makes me feel comfortable to say that “One day, I will be like them”. Envy, not to the extent that I will write like the way they write, or did the way they did to achieve their dream. Envy that will help me a lot achieving that one fucked-up dream.

Shattered ideas. I always have ideas rolling, running, rolling, and running all over again in my head. And end up having a shattered ideas with no use. Non sense. Fucked up. Maybe, that’s the reason why I suddenly stopped.

It’s been three months, and the feelings still the same. All the ideas are shattered. All the stories left behind. All the on-going ideas have stopped from a faraway land. All is gone in such a blink of an eye.

Like all the love stories between a man and a woman, our story is the same. Our story needs space to properly work again. Maybe in His perfect time, I will come back. I hope that time is soon, when I’m not totally a fucked-up writer.

It has been almost 8 months since then. Since I wrote my article, “5 Things I Learned from the CORRUPT LEADERS IN THE GOVERNMENT”. And after 5 months, I wrote an article “FEARLESS: Youth Summit 2014″.

I’ve been through hell since I stopped writing articles online. I thought of the things that really mattered.
I’ve been thinking of truly giving up writing but I can’t.
And this time, maturity really matters.

Writing is not just writing. It is now my commitment.
Commitment with people who read my articles.
Commitment to people who trusts my words in every article I wrote.
And most especially, commitment to myself.

Here I go, again.
For the chances that He never denied to give.

The journey begins.

About pjdeguzmann

This is a page of a wondrous poetic human being who scribbled poetry in a sheet of paper. (Visit my blog: The Poetic Wanderer)