The one word that summarizes my life at the moment.
I’m proud mom to a seven-month old boy but not too keen about my full-time stay at home status. Yes, I love spending time with my baby. Watching him develop day after day. Witnessing all the “firsts” of his infancy. But I’m beginning to feel restless. Unfulfilled. Don’t get me wrong though, being a mom is very fulfilling (nothing compares to it). It’s just that this is not exactly how I envisioned my life to be at this point in time.
Whenever I check my Facebook page I keep on seeing people in my social network who got promoted, passed the medical boards, started with med school, found good jobs abroad, etc.. the list goes on and on. It seems like most of them found their place in the sun.
So, what about me?
I can’t help, but ask myself: where exactly am I right now? I’m nowhere near my starting point and I’m definitely nowhere near my initial goal (becoming a doctor after I saved up enough for med school). So I finished college alright… then had a job a few months after graduation… got a promotion… made a hell of a mess with my love life… got to establish a romantic relationship with a man I love and who loves me back… got a job at another company… became pregnant… left my job… gave birth… stayed at home to take care of the baby.
Somehow, the ending part is not to my liking. The core of my being totally rebels against the very thought of it. I just can’t live like this for so long. Even though my hubby is a good provider, there are just some things that he can’t give. Doing everything in my power to reach my full potential is a responsibility that I owe not only to myself, but also to my family. The sense of achievement that comes from accomplishing this can only result from my own hard work.
Hmmm… I guess I squandered enough time already dwelling on being STUCK.
Now I can focus more on:
author: a littletoodistracted