Have you ever been in love?
My Name is Cindy. Looking back, I have wonderful memories of being in love for some long years, when one day I decided to go abroad after my asshole love of my life left me due to the pregnancy of another woman.
Hell yeah! It was painful as hell! Damn! I could not even move my ass to go to work the following day when I knew of it. I lived my long years crying, spending my nights looking at my computer monitor and thinking of nothing.
Yeah, damn right! Trusting has become a great issue after that. It seems that it is true you become rude when you’re deeply hurt.
Troubles are but part of life, yes. But it seems that I was living in hell. I embraced darkness through many years by not allowing others into my life. I shut down all the people who loves me and it seems that I walked along a wrong path.
I tried many ways to stop my breath just to ease the pain I was feeling.
Then after a while, realizing things, clearing my head from everything through prayers and meditation, it worked. I started again to embrace the wonderful things in life… Started to pull my shit together… I engaged myself to be busy. I started to love myself again.
Four long years is enough to be called stupid, damned and pathetic.
And this is how another love story begins….
Here comes the rainbow after the mind-blowing storm. Life is so good to smile over indeed. And if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you the chance to love you enough.
His name is Willy. And at first I doubted him. Online dating is not my cup of tea. He gives me enough troubling thoughts that I am so excited to see him. Here comes my heart again, pounding with every single beat when I see him smiling.
“Idiot!I am Idiot!” my mind screamed. How can it be so easy to say that I love him after just a short notice? How did it happen?
I am starting to notice just how cool he is. How he stays awake just for me. Of course it’s online dating though. How he stays at home just to talk to me sounds crazy.
Slowly by slowly, I learned that he loves his family that much. He loves his mother, and indeed it melts my heart. One of my weaknesses — the one who loves his family especially his mother. He appreciates her for giving him a wonderful life. His father died when he was young. Tough guy, with a moody temper — just like mine.
He is just not a darling of a crowd, but I found out that he is also one of the cutest and sexiest man alive.
Don’t get me wrong, but I describe him like that. Meeting him is just like a chance in a lifetime. Knowing him is a pledge of being in love. The happiness we felt, the laughter we shared will always be cherished.
Accordingly, you will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost someone.
Well, meeting someone like you, is a long lasting quest of a lifetime.
Willy. Yeah, he is. He who touches my life in many ways. He, whom I met in one of the online dating site. He who makes me feels like a princess. He who makes a way to communicate with me, even during the busiest schedules he has. He who makes me feel special and he who never cares what people think about us. Oh Willy…
One step at a time. One dream that may become a reality. One moment at a time to be cherished. Holding hands make our love become more beautiful. In you, I feel that when we really love, accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works.
To you, Willy, to be honest with you, I don’t have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears that will listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that’s aching to see you smile everyday.
When I say I love you, you might say you don’t deserve it. When I say I need you, you say I deserve someone better. When I say my life is better with you, you say I don’t know any better. When I am with you, you know that there is no better feeling than our love coming together and that is something we both deserve. You have no idea how good it feels to wake up every morning knowing you are mine.
Like any other normal couple, I cry over a stupid fight. But it doesn’t mean I am weak. There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love… But not to rush all things is a wonderful step of knowing someone like you.
Dating online is not that bad as everyone imagined. There are some guys as Willy out there who seeks women who understand what love truly is. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.
But, indeed meeting someone like you is awesome.
Fighting is normal. But the act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time. We fight, yes, like normal lovers. We have this kind of bond that stays in our hearts that makes the fight burst into happiness instead. Meeting someone like you is incredible.
I know… I and Willy have many things to do, still have many things to be done, so that our relationship will work. But the trust we feel for each other, the love that fills our hearts is more important than embracing the negativity of having an online love affair. One step at the time.
Why did I choose you? Yeah,when we have hardship, I want to be remembered as the girl who always smile even when my heart is broken, and the one who could always brighten up a day even if I couldn’t be.
And because meeting someone like you is happiness, and it feels good, indeed, it’s good to be just plain happy.
I believe in second chances. You might have been through pain the last time you loved someone, but you can still start all over again and no matter what happened in the past, if you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.
Next time around, I will be hoping to update this love affair on the future as we are together in the same place now.
I am blessed and happy to meet someone like you!!!!