Six Reasons Why I am still Single

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When February 14 hits, I always find myself asking why I have to be single every time the calendar celebrates the month of lovers. I am not ugly, that I am sure. I am of the right age. I am capable of pain (or thought I am at least). And I am very certain that I am not naïve with the matter. So why?

I woke up one Valentine’s Day on my 21st year wondering why. Instead of wondering, I made a list. Could be an assurance or a mere defense of being single, I am not sure. At least I tried sorting it out.

1. Thanks to the books

Probably this is one of the reasons why I am still imprisoned in the world of serendipity and fairy tales. Thanks to the books. Isn’t it magical? Isn’t it full of hopes and dreams? Isn’t it cool? It’s totally the perfect escapade from reality.

I remember how my cousin complained so much with how I am too in denial with what the world really offers. She said that books are only for those who are still immature enough to deal with destiny and slow motion moments. Turned out, books made me not believe in fairy tales or some sort—it gave me an idea how to pattern my own love story. I am the author. Probably that too makes a total sense.

2. When you’ve witnessed enough broken hearts

The usual role of single friends is being a best listener slash adviser. That is my role for the last decade of my life! The way my sister wept ‘til her tears dried out (if that’s even possible); my cousin looked so blank after an eternal outburst of how her ex cheated; my father almost lost his self after my mom died; it’s just too painful.

They say experience is the best teacher. I say you don’t have to go through the dark tunnel for you to conclude that it is indeed dark. I know there are exemption to that rule and I am about to discover it someday. The least I can do is wait for the right moment to feel their pain myself instead of jumping into a conjecture that all love stories are of tragic end—unless of course it ended up well with a wedding bell.

3. My Father is my Partner

As the youngest girl of three daughters, I am the one closest to my father. He’s my benchmark. He’s my hero. I should find someone exactly like him. The way he treated my mother, kept us his children and stood strong with his principles without stepping over the others made him my standard.

Unfortunately, I have learned that my father is one and only. If that’s the case, will I be a spinster? No. Maybe, after all I haven’t really figured out who I really wanted to be with aside from my father. Or maybe—beware for hopeful souls—I am still waiting for my father replica. He could be somewhere you know. I just have to find the 90% of his double when the time offer it.

4. I am still full of Love

There are like three kinds of love and I have two out of three—that’s a satisfactory point to start with. I have my father, brother, sister, cousin, neighbor, friends…the list could be infinite. So why do I need a boyfriend? To go out on a date with?—I have my girlfriends. To care for me?—thanks father and sister and brother and cousins.

But sometimes I become curious how it feels when I’ll receive a bouquet of flower from a special someone. I even wonder what’s the difference between hugging a real pillowcase and a pillow with the boyfriend’s shirt case. For some reason, I am wondering how magical would it be if I have someone to care of other than my family and friends.

5. I deserve the best

This, I tell you is one of the main reasons why I am still single. Really, I have a big head with full assurance swarming all over my brain saying I deserve the best. Yes, I may not be the best lady the world could ask for but I seriously deserve no lesser than my expectations. After more than 21 years and all I get is a playboy drunkard who thinks a relationship is just a title instead of a commitment?—no way!

There’s no such thing as a perfect guy though. After setting 10 wish lists, 7 will be the passing rate. Or maybe I could lower my standard? Or maybe I will not set any standard at all? Or maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t mind? Where are my manners if I will not set my standards after being choosy all these years?

6. God is still writing my love story

I have this small whisper every time I feel depressed with my singleness. “I am a reasonably kind woman. Surely God is preparing a reasonably kind man for me too”, I assure myself. After countless youth seminars in my church, I have learned that good things happen to those who wait. In contradiction to the idea, God helps those who help themselves. Should I do the first move?—a big no.

I read this book “I love you” back in high school and I have learned that commitment is a sacred thing. I respect that. I don’t want to engage into a relationship because I have to but it’s because I want to. Not a peer pressure or biological demand will drag me to the most confusing, mysterious subject in this life. I will wait.

It may take forever of waiting but a man given by God? He’s worth the wait.

So yeah, I stayed single.

 

19 Comments

  1. Ay ang ang dami pa palang single sa mundo..d kau nag iisa guys..hehe..me…? I’m patiently waiting..I’m just 22..nbsb and its not the end of the world if IM Still single. HAha

    Congratulations Lynette for a job well done.you’re an amazing writer.GOD BLESS!

    • Wow! Thank you so much! Don’t worry, single si Jesus. HAHA! We should make a club! Sige lang, chill muna. Baka busy pa si Zac Efron. HAHA!

  2. I think you will never find Mr right you can look for Mr right for ever and expect so much that No ONE meets your idea of Mr Right ,.. Then you finally decide you let Mr Right go then its far to late because he has already Married his Mrs Right, … And a lot of Guys older they get less intrested in comitment they become they have it all Money Good Job, Home, and can sleep with as many women as they choose with out the need for Marriage ,…

    • I think as days fold into years, I’ll grow up with the idea that changing perspective will be part of growing up. I used to believe that Mr. Right is someone like Zac Efron or maybe Justin Bieber (if he’s right?) but I’ve grown up and guess what, they’re not. SO maybe in the future, Mr. Right will not be the same as my Mr. Right today. 🙂

  3. Maybe you already missed the right one. And you’re waiting forever(kung Meron mang forever)for nothing 🙂 being single isn’t bad but escaping the reality is worst than being single. Jk hahaha sorry sa wrong grammar :))

    • Haha! Thank you. Maybe I did… or maybe I didn’t. Forevermore is like For-NEVER-more in the real world if I keep on waiting for Prince Charming (who unfortunately never existed at all). But I was told that I choose first, then love. And not love then choose. I chose no one so probably I haven’t come across with Mr Right (for me) as well. In time 🙂

  4. I agree with this article. Everything written in this article speaks about that relationship is not a bus in rush hour. that you need to get it before it’s too late. Im NBSB and 24. I entertain guys but i saw that no one of them tried to win me. Efforts are important for me. After first date i saw no follow ups. So maybe, i told myself they like girls who would do the effort. But im not like them. So why would i fit myself for someone who do not give efforts for me?

    • I strongly agree. I think NBSBs surely relate to this. I mean seriously, it’s not like we were that pathetic or so choosy and demanding for the guy but like I said, God knows better. I love the idea of waiting. Thank you for this. I appreciate it 🙂

  5. Next reason should be…7. “She’s just not that into you” – it can’t be just the other way around. #realtalk #hugot #basedonexperience

    • Yes yes… I’ll note that. That’s the real deal but #BasedOnTheExperience as well, girls don’t do the first move. SO even if we are head-over-heels with the guy, a real and upright woman knows how to wait. #OldSchool

  6. Akala ko kaming mga lalaki lang ang namomroblema kong bakit kami single..well i was wrong after i read all these. We are the one doing all the efforts in courting someone we like so much. And speaking of that word effort, that reminds me of someone na halos nilabanan ko yong kaba ng dibdib at hiya just to gave those flowers to her kahit kakarating ko lang i rushed to see her, but i was still rejected. I realized that was the craziest thing ive done ever. I respect her decision, because she is a woman I know na kapag nakita at makilala mo..igagalang mo, aalgaan mo, mamahalin mo, at pasasayahin mo..yong u will do evrything to make her happy, kahit mag sakripisyo kapa..because her smile is priceless, nakaktangal ng pagod at stress. Well wherever she is if that thing called tadhana would allow us to meet again, i will do much more effort just to win you..i am crazy isn it?..i would agree f somebody say yes.

    • I strongly agree. You even made an effort and that’s something. At least you tried di ba? I mean, you rushed for those flowers and gathered your guts? That’s amazing! Bottom line, she still rejected you (sorry for that) and here’s a tap on the shoulder bro: It’s not you–it’s her. 🙂
      Someone deserves your effort. Could be a slap of reality that she’s not the one but c’mon, there’s so many fishes in the ocean–indulge yourself! Thanks for sharing your thoughts though 🙂

  7. I am running 24 this year and haven’t been to a relationship. Over the years, There were those who tried to win me but maybe i was just too straightforward to say my rejections and my dislikes to their admiration over me. Lol. I actually got to a point when I started thinking “I think I should start entertaining (at least) and stop rejecting and repelling men out of my life and most esp stop intimidating them.” But….. I just can’t help it. my colleagues are actually starting to think that maybe I am a Lesbo in the making. Haha. I don’t know why I am still single because honestly, i don’t give a s*** about being too busy or that I am a very choosy because, I simply am not. Up until now I still wonder how it feels to have that emotional comfort to be given by My Chosen Guy. But at this point of my life TO WONDER is just the leastI can do right now. 🙂 cheers to us!

    • Haha! Is this a celebration of singleness? Cheers! LOL
      No really, I feel you. You’re wearing my older sister’s shoes. She’s running 27 and she’s way too busy to indulge her life with men. Not that she’s way too up not to be reached but it’s not her priority so she stayed single. Good thing is that we know how to wait. Your age is already part of the age bracket for marrying and truth be told, to us woman, our biological clock is quite scary.
      Here’s what I told her: “Sister, I understand your motives. Still, I pray God that you’ll meet a man who will understand your business and deprived time. I pray that you’ll learn to adjust (or sacrifice) your time to a man who deserves it.”
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. 🙂 Good luck!

  8. Hi!
    I cant help but to hit reply on this article. Im 23 and I am still single, too. Well, for the record NBSB. Sometimes I wonder how it feels to have that special someone, but most of the time, I dont really mind being single. Haha In denial? No, It’s what I feel so, yeah. Kudos to the all the single people who knows the real meaning of commitment.

    • Yes! I agree to that! Thanks for supporting. One day, we’ll look back to this very moment (the commenting and sharing our thoughts and celebrating our singleness) and smile thinking “wow, we’ve been through this road and guess it’s not that bad at all.”
      Good things to those who wait. Beware of dead stars too. 😀

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