Philippines/Filipinos=the Battered Wife

Yes, I’m calling it out – and I’m calling it exactly how I see it.

First and foremost, so the context is made clear, I am a Filipino-American – I am a proud Filipino. And I am proud to be Filipino. But it seems I have a different interpretation of what Filipino means. My pride in being Filipino blossomed as I began to understand the true meaning of words like heroism, bayani, selflessness, love for the poor and learned how the Filipino spirit truly cares. I thank Gawad Kalinga for that. I have witnessed “selflessness” manifest. I have witnessed the aweing power of determination when the ambition is beyond ones goals but for the greater goal of national progress. And these things I have witnessed are there because there is a problem to respond to that beyond being Filipino, every human being on the planet must eventually respect, the problem of undignified, extreme poverty…just simply having children starve and live in the most putrid of conditions is enough for me.

But there’s more to it isn’t there? There always is.

I am not a politician. I am certain that those skilled in this field believe they understand the maneuvers of “war” through words, possibly pride themselves in comprehending some “Machiavellian” principle, and feel they have some charismatic aura to compensate for mistakes. All well and good. But a clever mind and a concerned citizen can easily see past the bullshit. Not the politician – the bullshit politics.

Watching the situation with China unfold has given us an opportunity to understand who we are as a people. Tony Meloto once told me that “the strength of a people are reflected through the strength of their leaders – a strong people will elect strong leaders – and a weak people will elect weak leaders.” Well put sir. So then let us judge who we have become through our leaders today.

(No Filipinas were harmed in the making of this image.
In fact, I think she is even Chinese.  Children, these are
trained professionals, please do not attempt unless under
adult supervision.)

In my novice assessment, for whatever its worth, I have come to see the Philippines as “the battered wife.” Let’s see the similarities shall we?

(1) When our neighbor China, or let’s say our “Sugar Daddy” since we seem to borrow a lot of money from them, insults us, slaps us in the face and exposes us to global humiliation (see my previous note for reference) – what do we do? – We tell ourselves (translation – our leaders tell us) – “It’s not that bad.”, “We need him (China).”, “We deserved that – we (..shouldn’t have gone in his space).”, “Let’s wait till he calms down.”, “Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”

(2) We then LIE to our selves to calm ourselves down – I saw an article where Noynoy said that “the structures (Garrisons) were there for years – they are not new – we shouldn’t overreact.” He is right – it began in 1995 when the China attacked our fishermen, and then started building on those occupied islands telling the Philippines they were shelters for their fishermen. They are of course military installations that are weaponized as we know today. Hmm…They lied to us then, they lie to us now. But we lie to ourselves (translation: Our leaders feel they need to lie to us for the sake of what – peace?) We tell ourselves, “He’s not doing anything wrong….he’s good inside…he really loves me.”

(3) Then we, of course, like the faithful battered wife, must forgive ever so quickly. We are enamored by our calm beater as they smile and give us hugs. (Latest Article on Phil-Chinese Happy Relations) They say things like “let’s keep it friendly, baby – sends us flowers
and we say things to ourselves like “China’s NPC has always attached importance to friendly exchanges with the Philippines’ Congress, and is willing to keep expanding multi-level, multi-form exchanges and cooperation between the two legislative bodies, and make fresh contribution to the development of Sino-Philippine relations.”

(4) And finally my favorite. As the truth surfaces slowly towards the realization of our helpless and shameful state – as our actions that reflected our lack of self-confidence reinforce our already damaged self-perception come to mind – we must make sure we do not go insane – so let’s have a drink. Let’s get DRUNK WITH DISTRACTION. There’s certainly no shortage of that with typhoons, internal fighting and of course…celebrity gossip.

. . .

As a Filipino American – the Filipino in me does not want to see a conflict and ruin the moment – the American in me wants to see us ASSERT ourselves. I want to remind the Philippines that the they are NOT ALONE. There are 12 million+ Filipinos abroad. There are 4 million alone here in America. As ONE Filipino, let us all contribute towards the global culture and brand of the Filipino. Generations before me have been colonized to the point that they have engrained in their hearts the curse of limiting beliefs. Second and third gens in the US rebel as they pull away to join the Americans who celebrate the freedom from thinking of limitless possibility.

I wish for the country to ASSERT ITS DESTINY so we all may open the floodgates of limitless possibility. I wish for leaders that inspire us with honorable and wise actions that help us rise as a people. And there is no destiny for a nation that exists in the silo of our own tiny islands. A national destiny is our destiny in relation to the world. Yes there will be opposition, conflicts of interest and tensions. The Filipino spirit knows how to handle that. But let us learn and feed from each other globally. Let us ASSERT OUR DESTINY to greatness.

So – leaders of the Philippine people, were watching to see what you do from this side of the planet- because you help to tell us who we are. Meanwhile you must tell the world who we are.

Here’s an idea: How about a statement that sounds like “We seek diplomacy to resolve the matter, meanwhile, get the F*** out of our territory.”

Please stop making us look like a bunch of bitches. Thanks.


    • God helps those who helps themselves. It’s time to stand up now. (USD) $2 Trillion is at stake that can lift the lives of every Filipino.

  1. I can’t remember when/where I read this article and it said, “Philippines, how can you fight a country that feeds your people.” He/She is Hong Kong journalist/reporter. This is regarding the territorial fight of the spartly islands. It mentioned the Filipino domestic helpers in Hong Kong and I think that was his/her reason of what was said.

    • When a Filipina domestic in the Middle East is raped, they are blamed for instigating the rape, jailed, publicly trialed and humiliated and generally deported. Not just the Middle East. Now, China is F***ing us in a whole new way. We don’t need their money if it means we must sacrificing the future of the generations ahead of us. We can feed ourselves. And If we secure our territory, we’ll have more financial resources than they would ever give us. We are not to be treated like whores.

  2. If I were the president, i would echo the Chinese ambassador’s words of castigation to us, and call China irresponsible and irrespectful. I would raise bloody hell to the international community and demand for an immediate resolution to the Spratly issue. Meanwhile, the best of my navy men will continuously patrol the waters off Palawan and apprehend poachers & Chinese navy vessels masquerading as fishing boats. Until there is a resolution, China can raise a bloody howl, for all I care. The Spratly’s are less than 100 km from Palawan & I intend to defend its territory. China needs to understand that!…But, I’m not the president. Maybe, if majority of us Pinoys raise a storm of protest, some things might be accomplished. I am protesting now…who’s with me?

    • Arlyne, you ARE president to me. You are a leader and understand the depth of this issue. I will follow you, we must follow the path that leads to best interest of our people – not a cowardly compromise because of a “lack” mentality. If you lead, the Filipino’s lead, the World will follow us to succeed. But noone will fight our fight for us….but they sure will help us when we’re ready. So yes, I am with you.

  3. I wish it’s that easy to just simply pick your choice so that poverty related issues could have been prevented. But, just like what Former President Quezon once said; ” education is the birth right of every child” let’s just do our best to educate more people especially our younger generation and help them divert their attention to something productive …

  4. No amount of rationalization nor justifications and resolutions could resolve this important issue individual choices;CHOICES are made;good or bad.right or wrong it will remain that way but simply Choose the right,RIGHT WAY.

  5. well said! bravo! unfortunately, the facts of the matter is that most Filipinos simply don’t care. Not that they’re afraid or uneducated, but because, like a battered-wife, they reached the point that they simply got immune and just want to live by whatever what’s left.

  6. Coming from the Philippines, I understand where our “Filipino” values come from. but living in the US, I realize there really is a NEED for us to assert ourselves. I believe it has to start from our motherland. The people SHOULD not bow down to our politicians. They are supposed to be servants of the public, not the other way around. Perhaps it is the effect of poverty, but it shouldn’t be that people are taken advantage of. Another thing that bugs me are Filipinos insulting Fil-Ams for not being “filipino” enough. They grew from a different place, of course there will be cultural differences! But it doesn’t mean they don’t have any pride from where they came from.

  7. I am not entirely putting the blame on our leaders. We are partly to be blame for who we are now. I believe in order to see change we should start from ourselves and pass it on to our love ones and to everyone around us….Simple use of common sense helps a lot and no doubt we Filipinos have more than just common sense. …

    • No its not our leaders, I agree, it’s us. This why WE must ensure our leaders who SERVE us act in our best interest. And our best interest is not to forfeit the only resource we have (of unprecedented magnitude) for a truly prosperous future to a foreign entity that denies and denounces our right to this destiny. Their best interest is to keep us poor so we will never be able to fight back. Our leaders will not cower if we do not cower. If China points guns to our heads, let us stand boldly in defiance so the rest of the world will be inspired by our leadership through the face of indignation and oppression and put more guns to their heads.

  8. We, the disputee, the marter, the maniana habit attitude–Enough is enough! How much is enough?

    Do we always lean over their shoulders? No more!

  9. I’m tired of being the battered wife! Let’s do something about it already! Am I the only one battling, and saying, I’m not that kind of Asian! I am Filipino! I am not taking this lying down! I am not gonna put up with this bullshit anymore! I deserve better! I am Filipino!

  10. I’m tired of being the battered wife! Let’s do something about it already! Am I the only one battling, and saying, I’m not that kind of Asian! I am Filipino! I am not taking this lying down! I am not gonna put up with this bullshit anymore! I deserve better! I am Filipino!

    • I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      I Deserve Better. I AM Filipino.

      Our generation has a calling right now – We will be robbed of the only opportunity we may have to actually triple our GDP and become a first world nation in the Global economy. And so far our screams have reached oblivion. We must scream together.

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