On Being Unwanted Anymore

Unloved and unwanted (Photo credit: togetherv.blogspot)

What have we become? What have you become?

It’s earth shattering that after all this time, you told me that you wouldn’t do anything like that, that you’ve grown up  to become something so far to that. You promised me. I trusted you, but you lied. I never thought that you would because… well, stupid that I thought that we were inseparable. But we were, right? We were even excited that we will reach one this month. I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t suspect anything because I trusted you with all my heart.

Unloved and unwanted (Photo credit: togetherv.blogspot)

I just don’t really get it. After all the things we’ve been through, after all the challenges that made us strong, after all the things you’ve told me to make me feel secured, what was that all about? Just lies? Wasn’t I good enough? Hey, didn’t you realize, you have become exactly what you said you’ll never be. Congratulations. You’ve hurt me ten times as much.

It just really hurts a lot, and I believe that nothing would hurt more. I want you. I still do, that’s a fact. But I know I shouldn’t anymore. You don’t want me anymore too. I need to move the hell on. I don’t know how to begin the process. This is my first ever heartbreak. I don’t know how to move on.

I love you, you cheating asshole. I never stopped. I’m not even mad. I need to hear you first. I need to hear her first. I need to get myself together, I have no choice but to be strong.

Funny how one person can break your heart in a million pieces, but you still love them nonetheless. If people are going to ask me if I still want to get back together, my answer would be an automatic yes. My best friend told me to fight for the person I love. But that’s stupidity, right? Fighting for a person who doesn’t care about you anymore is stupid. I love you, I can’t deny that. But you’ve hurt me enough and I don’t want to be the only person to put an effort anymore.

Goodbye and I’m sorry. Sorry that I wasn’t good enough for you. I love you.

author: stephpelausa

p.e./kf

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