Three nights ago, I invited my boyfriend Gautier for a dinner at my aunt’s house. There he met my aunt whom I consider my second mum, my lass cousin Rosey and one of my best friend’s Devie. We did have a great time discussing lite to heavy subjects about our country’s differences and his keen interest with the Filipino people, politics so as our local weather. After a bottle of wine he bought for aunt, we had couple of beers while gazing at the starless sky. Such was a wonderful night to remember.
The day after, I began receiving ridiculous pushes and criticisms about tying the knot with apparently him. People from my household, my relatives, and even few neighbors find me mad for not considerating this act at my age. Im 28 although I look younger and is always being mistaken for such; like in bars where a giant bouncer would ban me from getting inside or should he demand for an id. Dumb. No joke, this always happen to me. I don’t know if it’s flattering or insulting anyhow.
So there it is, I am writing about this subject to breathe out the reasons a woman like me has for choosing to be single rather than taking the vow. A heavy thing that might later bounce back or get rerouted to the way of divorce or separation. I had seen, heard and even experience the fatal blow of broken commitment of marriage as a dear friend who would listen and attend to a dear friends’ dark bleeding days; my aunts’ and even from my own life as an offspring of this whole thing.
I am a woman with a masculine side yes, but I will always be a woman. What surprises me a lot is this sort of proneness to date emotional men and I tend to get used to it. When I honestly learned to like it, and there are women like me out there I think! We’re all different in our own ways! So why the heck?
I wanna be understood where I’m or shall I say “we’re”really coming from on this matter. I understand why the tradition in the Philippines is still intact and its a good thing I would say, but the younger generations of today and the coming are gonna be less conservative and more open minded! I like the tradition of men having power over women but nonetheless there are only few men who can really make their women submit fully to them not by the means of marriage, paper or the the vow through a church but by merely the point of meeting intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.
Friedrich Nietzche once remarked: “Woman was God’s second mistake.” Mary Crowley thinks otherwise though. God made man first. Then, He stepped back, looked him over and said, “I can do better than that.” And so He made woman. Very interesting indeed! I get bored with nonsense and egoistic approach of men. Devastated old touch type of thinking kills me to death. I like openness and invitations for a more beautiful, relaxed, and in depth conversations rather than the toxic macho type approach.
Well.. whatever! Let’s not fight about this thoughts.. Sexes have their uniqueness and we simply need to understand, value and respect that. This should be the foundation of a good, growing and lifetime partnership. More of a mutualism type of relationship. Living and not enduring it. Marriage is not just a concept of fallin in love and a happy ever after. Its a lifetime commitment to one another. And people who get married early in their lives; for the purpose of pleasing the family and society whom have cultured them; or by following the trend; or by thinking life after schooling and acquiring a good job is about mating and producing children. Nope! A big no no to them! Marriage can even say no to children, but of course out of love you would feel to create a nest of tiny angels around. Then nurturing them; which is another suject. And so on..
Marriage is a big word. It’s not an experimental thing to discover or explore. Its sacred. Don’t be married if you only plan to get divorced, or if you are tempted or is planning to eventually cheat with your partner; or if you’re planning to change the identity of your partner; or worst if you’re only after the other’s name or wealth. Marriage is like beauty, it’s skin deep.
There are marriages without love and love without marriage. I don’t think you need to be married to say that you want to live together, I mean your intentions for a lifetime commitment can be said and done in other ways, you just have to be creative and innovative. To me, it’s a day to day things than the big day. And there is actually heap of ways to prove, but truly it depends on the concerned individual’s choice. And as for me, as a person of faith I’d rather obey this convenient rule because it would appease me in the end. And It’s my choice. Everyone has a choice, and everyone is entitled for their freewill.
Marriage has lost its symbolic value to these days; but we can change this. Marriage is not the only way to prove you love someone, preparation is! And this is what I’m up to now.. not only for the sake of getting married but for the art of living life in its totality. First, I want to know my whole being; I want to become a full individual, well prepared, well informed and well read. I want to concentrate on my career and businesess, travel and meet different people and culture, make the most of my life as it is so that I can welcome this thing when it arrives at the right time and with the right soul. And while its on its way, I’ll make the most of my relationships with friends and family and even my plants and pets.
I’m very glad to have the freedom to make choices and not sacrifices.