I am a pharmacist.
I used to work in a closed room, sitting all day in front of a computer with an excel file of graphs and tables and a pencil and pen plus a bulk of papers. Hours passing by without me realizing it because of the busy schedule. When its end of the month until first week, I even forget to drink water or go to the toilet. And not only that, I even spend longer hours trying to solve and finish the problem. There were days that all your time spent in finalizing reports be damp to waste as your boss will insult your capacity or belittle your ability. And there were days when the more you stand for your belief and actions provoked your senior to question you but then there are also days when you got praises and amused them by your workmanship. That’s the life I used to have and deal with everyday.
Then things changed when suddenly they pull you out because they don’t have any other choice, which I called now, a blessing in disguise.
Well to be honest, at first, I thought it was really a demotion to my profession, a big insult to my experience. There were days I thought of quitting and just leave the place. From being stressed with the financial numbers, I turned to be counting the coins and notes and changing bills and running after the patients. It was so demoralizing event of my life.
I wear the same clothes and face the same computer and excel but doing less and basic and I get tired. Every day when I got home I sit at my bed and take a deep breath then a tear falls down my eyes. But I told myself “This too shall pass”. And then the next morning again I need to pull myself up to go and work and face the same coins. The following week I got the evening duty and again I ask myself “Why am I still here?”
There were busy days that I faced patients shouting and embarrassing everyone on the other side of the counter, and there are evenings that even doctors are pain in the ass but worst was when the people you thought were your colleagues treat you like a helper. Everything was new to me and each day I’m struggling to finish the shift and each day I just wear the same make up on the face, the smile just to get over it.
I tried to find good things out of these mess to survive because I need to. And so, there’s a friend, who made me feel comfortable with the others and felt welcome by the rest. I used to laugh with the guys but now is totally different environment. The ladies are more fun to be with which I totally forgot before. We share the same craziness and laugh on the same tone. So, I started to learn their language of work and find the essence of being one. There I started to love to stay and open myself to being servant to others and not to the numbers. While listening and observing to their daily routine, I realized that this is the work that fits me. When you try to read the problem of the patient and try to help them solve the pain and counseling them of the proper way of living and acquire their patience to an unexplainable level, I begin to love the job. A work where you speak direct to people in need, a passion to help them ease the pain by listening.
This reminds me of my youthful years when I was a woman for others, where I got to be busy serving people, when I’m getting tired of extending help and inspiring youth. And now this is my blessing, which remind myself that I was born to be a servant to others in need not by the computer or company I am serving. Maybe this is just the beginning of reliving the true meaning and purpose of life. I then realized that the once I thought was a setback is a comeback to my old self and that there is more to life than just sitting and solving the company’s problem in a closed room. I still have the same pen I never forgot to bring every day, that calls for the same work although in different area, it is my sword in any type of battle.
And the funny part is that I am still crazy whether I’m inside or outside the box. I guess it was the renewed joy inside of me which I cannot deny now that I am more of a player than a coach, I found love in working with people than papers. Thanks to my dear friend who never get tired of teaching me and extend my life a little longer than I should stay. Thanks to my dear friends whose presence made it more simple to accept the reality and thanks to my dear friends for making me crazy again.
Thank you to Madiha’s prescription, I find myself excited to work each day again. To learn new things with my new-found friends, to care into a different level, to share the same passion of serving, to dream of becoming a better one and succeeding each hard day ahead; to live a new role in life and just be happy.
Then I wake up one day and realized, I Am A Pharmacist.