A year and half in this foreign country taught me a lot. It made me realize to appreciate myself more (not that I’m histrionic or selfish). The same in my country where “physical beauty” is a big issue. (No matter how we deny it that we aren’t after the physical attributes, we can’t deny the fact that we are naturally drawn by “physical beauty” Let’s face it.)
I’m not saying that it’s not a good thing (loving physically). It is, in fact, okay to take care of yourself in order to look good. It is never a sin to improve yourself physically. My point here is when other people start to point out your flaws, that’s a different story.
It’s frustrating sometimes when they start to ask you if you want to be “fairer”, or you want to enhance your nose or flatten your flabs. (SMH).
I was taken aback by the bluntness on how that was asked. It taste bitter in my mouth.
At first I thought, it was a kind of joke. I never felt ugly (like seriously ugly) in my entire life. I love being different. I always thought I was different. I’m proud of my skin tone. I love walking under the sun. I love enjoying the heat. Though there was a time I was a little bit fair but I was upset ’cause my nose got a reddish glow which made me look like Rudolph ( the red-nosed reindeer).
I looked so fake that time like a piece of white paper. Then, I started embracing my “morena” skin. I love how the sun kiss as it is. I wasn’t afraid to go tan until last year. When my co-worker keept asking me if I wanted “gluta” ’cause I am “dark-skinned” and how should I get a nose job because my nose is a bit big for my small face.
I got seriously depressed. I started to question myself. Should I go and tamper with my face just because some co-worker pointed out my flaws?
I started inquiring how much it will cost for a shot of gluta or for a nose job. Funny it sure is but society’s standard of beauty started to crawl up on me. I walked on shades and hated my nose. Then all of that changed when I read a book from my fave actress.
She said “we should accept our flaws and embrace it. We shouldn’t even start hating that in the first place”. It threw me off. Why should I bother over an opinion of an unpopular co-worker who maybe has a lot of insecurities in her system and trying to pass that on to me?
I decided to ignore her remarks and instead I keep telling myself that I am pretty the way I am. I grew darker but happier. My nose(?) it’s still the same. I told her that if I do something with my nose, how will I supposed to do “skydiving”. Girls, we should never think less of ourselves. We should love ourselves and others will follow suit. Trust me. 🙂
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