I Decided to Love Anyway

I’ve always believed that Love is not just an overwhelming cup of emotions but a Decision. And so, yes,  I love you not because I see hearts every time I’m with you nor I hear the angels sing every time you come near me. I love you because I have chosen to love you.  Imperfections and flaws included.

 I held on to what we were for so long not because you asked me to but because I wanted to. For so long I was convinced that there was nothing wrong with us. And I made myself believe that it was okay to be ignored because you have issues to settle. So I waited. Patiently.  Because I decided to love you anyway.

I didn’t deserve to be neglected. But I settled. My questions deserved answers but when you chose to ignore me, I settled. Because I decided to love you anyway.

I knew I deserve better. But because I settled, I am part to blame. It was me who allowed you to treat me that way. Because I decided to love you anyway.

 When I was searching for answers- you gave me a deafening silence. And your silence brought me to a space of solitude.

In solitude, I found myself in total despair. Lost. Broken. Until I had the most soulful conversation with my beloved self.  I’ve reached the point where I have finally accepted that no matter how big my Love is—my efforts will never be enough. I just can’t continue loving someone who doesn’t care about being loved.
True love is supposed to be unconditional. Yes. But sometimes, the moment we experience a different kind of madness and plunged ourselves into a pool of nothingness—Life will teach us that sometimes, LOVING ourselves could mean staying away from people who no longer see our worth. Not because we are choosing to be selfish but because we want to free the other person the capacity to hurt us over and over again.
I lost myself in solitude, but in solitude I was able to redeem myself. In solitude I reawakened my greatest self. And in solitude, I found self-love.
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Sometimes, letting go of someone is all about loving yourself the way you want to be loved. And sometimes, loving yourself could mean saying goodbye to a one-sided relationship. And the moment you decide to act on it—trust that the whole Universe is on your side.
Closure. Goodbyes. Farewells. Sometimes, life pushes you to the edge  so that you will learn to embrace it on your own. You don’t need anybody to give it to you. You owe it to yourself to be happy. Let go. Because this time, you decided to love yourself anyway.
Wish the other person well. Pray for his happiness. And when the day comes that his name no longer haunt you—perhaps, that’s the time you say to yourself—-I am ready to love again.

So do not limit your capacity to love and be loved just because your heart got broken.Be open to limitless possibilities. You have a very loving God. Surrender.

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