How it is like to love a friend…secretly?

Image Credit: Fher Ponce Photography

And right there and then, I got the answer I am praying for..

The sleepless nights will finally be laid to its rest. The long wait for discernment has come to bid its goodbye.

As the realization rushed, taunting me to believe what has already been there all along. I turned blind, disregarding the fact that what I wanted to happen will never reach its peak. Even a glimpse wouldn’t be even possible. It was so foolish of me to hope.

How lame I was to believe with the tell-tale story I created myself. I was blinded by what I’m feeling for you. I was so immersed with the thought of you and me — together.

I should’ve listened. I should’ve stopped. I ignored the fact that you really just don’t care, maybe you do but not in a way that I wanted you to.

Yes, I am way out of your league. The culmination of the tale I pre-designed is making my steps stagnant. Must I head towards or make a detour?

I was looking for the easiest route away from you but the thought of running away, the mere thought of it, saddens me. The risk of telling you is something I couldn’t get a hold of. I am not ready to let go of the friendship as I am not ready to let go of you as one of my friends. You’re such a great friend and I am really thanking God for letting me know you. And right there and then, I got the answer I am praying for..To you, I am a friend. Just a friend.

Tested my patience. I’m willing to wait before then. I was willing to unknowingly wait. But waiting without knowing is dreadful, and waiting with the knowledge of impossibilities for requited favor is tragic.

It was awful.

I am starting to blame myself for not guarding my heart. I did not guard it well. But can I really blame myself? Will I be able to stop loving you if I did guard my heart well?

And right there and then, I got the answer I was praying for…Let go.. Just let go.

About Serene

loves reading and writing. enjoys cooking. writer at heart i.t in profession.