She was battling between the indecency of confusion and having a sane reasoning amidst all the fantasies that have been circling and continuously roaming inside her head. That is going on for some time now. She is as rough as she’s mild, she is bitter and sweet, she conquers and surrenders. She is the opposing and the affiliating; yes, the two sides she has. But what and whom she is fighting is herself and her own peculiarity. She wanted to drift away from all the insecurities and uncertainties placed in front of her and so the newest path has been opened for a clearer perspective of a dainty heart.
The path is stiff though. It scares her to walk through it without someone to hold onto.
She fears that she would be like a feather ruffled without being able to kiss the wind and soar high. Anxiety started to butt in; making her feel like a little less important. A profound idea of being left behind, but who is she to feel alone when she was all alone in the first place? Is it her own doing why she is becoming more lonely in every step she make, that it is more like putting an ounce of weight with every inch she advances?
But she is blaming her heart for being so weak, her mind for being so unstable and her tongue for being so inconsistent with its every word. She is blaming herself with the state she is in not knowing that everything in her matters, that she need not anyone to make her feel satisfied and contented.
Why can’t she be able to see?
Her mildness taught her how to be rough sometimes, behind her every sweet smile are the most bitter tears which took most of her will power to hide.
Is it easier to lie with a smile than explain what with tears? She once conquered but at some point she chooses to surrender. She was once affiliated with chance and hope but now she is opposing; doesn’t want to give in with the addictive effect of it.
She is fast moving, difficult to stop but something– more like someone — destabilizes her.
She is a wild fire but the other one is an earthquake.
With no apparent reason, she just fell.
Yes, with that one unreasonable shake I just fell.
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- Agape : The Highest Form of Love - August 11, 2018
- Praying For My Perhaps… - June 26, 2018
- This is how you broke me - February 13, 2018
- How it is like to love a friend…secretly? - November 25, 2017
- This is how love is supposed to be felt - August 22, 2017
- To the woman who has been hurt and what she should focus on - May 31, 2017
- Transfiguration : Chance–Reformation–Serenity - May 20, 2017
- Love Pyramid: Eros to Philia to Agape - February 20, 2017
- Love at First Sight is Not a Hoax! - February 10, 2017