Before her eyes, she saw how her world is turning from black and white into colors of petal blue. A light sadness of her heart mourning, trying to survive from the damage caused by the love she thought as pure as the spirit, the love she considered as God’s gift because it happened in unexpected place and circumstance, between distance and time, between two souls extremely different from each other.
With their paths crossing, she found something unique and incomparable because no matter how many tricks and pretentions done, her heart could rightfully identify the face of the other half, as if they’d known each other forever. Their getting-to-know- each-other stage started, sticking like glue through whispering words, through laughter echoing across the distance, through tears of endless waiting for them to finally see and touch each other, until they fell, in love.
Yes, we did. The first time we met, it was heaven. We were like cotton candies sweetly floating in the clouds. We cared not about anything and everything, as if God allowed the earth to revolve for just the two of us. There was no room for sadness when we were together. Love was the most beautiful thing, the most precious.
Then parting time came. Our hearts were heavy as our steps at the airport’s departure lounge. Nothing can be more painful than leaving the one you truly love that if only this thought kills, then I would have died a thousand death. But I have to leave knowing that we will see each other again as vowed, promised and sealed in a kiss.
The second meeting as expected was lovelier than the first time. We spent it in a place where we were both strangers. We were like children filled with so much excitement. We attended a Sunday mass and witnessed a wedding. There we acted as another couple to be wedded too, vowed to God that only death could take us apart. We toured the place day and night with our hands held tight, kissed from time to time like newlyweds. Our long distance relationship continued. Not a day, months and years went by without missing each other. Our hearts need always be told that no matter what, we have each other. No matter the days were long. No matter the nights were colder, we have each other. Such assurance was written in letters, cards, postcards, through texts, voice calls and other means of reaching out to touch and assure the heart of the one you truly love.
But despite the love, despite being honest and faithful with every passing day, it was never enough. Nothing is enough for a discontent heart even when you have given everything. You are left like an empty bin. There’s nothing to be recycled. Just emptiness. But once everything is empty, there’s so much to see. What is clear to me is not what you say. What is clear to me is what I see. That you are not meant to me no matter how I wanted it to be. You wanted to be free. You’ve got the blessing from me. Today, on our fifth year anniversary, I am blowing these blue petals away. Each carries all my love, all my hopes, all my dreams for you and me. How it bounces with the wind that is how you held my heart. Tormenting, not worth remembering. As I stood here watching, it’s the lightness of the spirit which uplift me and brings me hope that one day soon, those blue petals touch the ground and bloom again into beautiful flowers, freshly picked and handed to me by the one destined for me.
Are you watching? Do you see those petals falling? Will you catch them and bring them back to me? Will I see you standing right before my eyes? Will you bring me flowers before those petals go…Gone with the wind…?