Heartbroken 101 : When it all began

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Lumaki ako sa isang buo at masayang pamilya. Never ko narinig na nagtalo ang mga parents ko. Pulis ang daddy ko, and despite of countless movies depicting the Filipino policemen’s “playboy” image, alam ko na faithful si daddy kay mama. Kaya naman, lumaki ako na umaasang balang araw ay makatatagpo ako ng lalaki na “pang-habambuhay.”

 

July 2007

Nakilala ko siya. At first, hindi ko naisip na makakasama ko siya nang “pang-matagalan”. We started off as a regular couple – until I got pregnant. Having a child became the turning point of our relationship. We realized that this is not just about the two of us dahil mas naging mabigat na ‘yung mga responsibilities.

We started living together. It may be an unplanned pregnancy, but it was something that we never regretted. We were not financially prepared to raise a kid, but I knew then that I was emotionally prepared to start a family. Being in a relationship with him was never easy, lalo pa at hindi siya agad natanggap ng family ko. Despite my family’s ire, I stood by him – for the simple reason that he made me happy.

For more than 6 years, we have stayed together. Like I said, it was never easy, but we managed to get through every obstacle that came our way. We were happy – or so I thought.

May 2013

For weeks, I have been having this feeling na may tinatago siya sa akin. Sabi nila, pag ang babae daw ay kinutubuan, madalas totoo. And sure enough, I caught him lying about spending time with a girl from his work. Sabi niya, wala lang daw ‘yun, na tropa lang daw sila. Makakalusot na sana, kung hindi ko nalaman na “mine” ang tawagan nila. Kung tropa lang, bakit may tawagan pa? Bakit “mine”? Ibig bang sabihin, pag-aari niya? Na sa kanya siya?

He tried – desperately – to explain and to make me believe that it was nothing. Pero nung time na ‘yun, sobrang sakit. I could not stop crying, I could not eat, I could not go to work. So I did the only thing that I thought was reasonable at the time. My daughter and I went home to my parents’ house. We stayed there for a week. During those times, I refused to answer his calls and texts. He tried to win me back, promising that he will never cheat on me again.

After that week, I decided to give our relationship another chance.

Pinatawad ko siya.

For the sake of our daughter and my love for him.

For the sake of our family.

Akala ko, ok na. Akala ko, tapos na.

 I never thought he will put me in the same position – twice.

About hashie

I am a woman, a nurse, and a mother who loves to read and to write. I hope that someday, my literary pieces will be enough to make a difference - no matter how small it will be - in a world that is struggling to live in a peaceful way. Please visit and like my page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hashie/276925455677468?ref=hl