You lost a loved one.
You failed your college entrance exam.
You just had a miscarriage.
You were an abandoned child.
You met an accident that left you paralyzed.
So, you may ask, “What now?
People from all walks of life have suffered in one way or another. Problems, trials, challenges – these are part of daily life. This is the price you have to pay for living here on Earth and for being human. You are no different from the man who lives down the street, no matter how rich or successful his life seems to be. When you hit rock bottom, sometimes, you will lose touch of reality.
Pain is one of the worst kind of human emotions you could ever feel. When a problem hits you right in the face, it hurts to the core of your being. It’s PAINFUL. Period. No question about that.
As with love, the human heart has the same capacity to feel pain and hurt. Your master’s degree, your Kim Kardashian-esque look, your millions of money in the bank has nothing to do with how much you suffer from within when a problem strikes out of nowhere.
You might argue that, “Well, having more money makes suffering a little bit easier than the poor man who doesn’t have a single centavo.” They can easily buy their way to happiness.” That is a good point. However, how come there were rich people who have wasted their lives and turned to drugs, alcohol and gambling in order to escape their problems? How come more have suffered from a psychological malady called depression and suicide? Even the famous people in Hollywood too. Why are they looking for an easy way out of their situation when they have all the means – money, fame, fortune- but sometimes failed? What is there inside them that money can’t solve and buy?
Yes, there are a lot things that even psychologists and experts on medical science can’t find the answers to the puzzle.
But if you are going to look at the people who have been through hell and back, people who have only known poverty, suffering, pain and discomfort and yet, they have risen from their own miserable lives and became successful. They have elevated themselves to a status that deserves praise and recognition. They have suffered the same way too and they came out victorious. Why?
Why do others succeed and come out as winners, while others don’t?
There is something that can answer that. It’s not rocket science. It’s not a secret code that you can’t break. You can’t just buy it from eBay or even from the most expensive malls. It’s tough. It’s hard core.
It’s called the STRENGTH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT.
TENACITY. RESILIENCY. ENDURANCE. STAYING POWER. FORTITUDE.
Whatever one may call it, it is something that keeps us in the game. Never giving up. Always fighting. Unbroken. No other people can take that inner strength away from you. Just draw it out of your system. Give it life. Give It power. Summon it.
You feel that you’re a victim of circumstances just because you keep on having bad experiences in love or life. You think that life is worthless just because bad luck keeps coming one after another. When you can’t move or think anymore because everything becomes dark and hopeless. You think of yourself as a big loser and a failure.
Have you ever experienced those things?
Problems can be as bad as losing a house, business and loved ones from an earthquake, storm or fire. Challenges create a big mess in your once comfortable, peaceful life. You love your own comfort zone. There is nothing quite like it.
Or it can be as petty as losing a phone or wallet. Yes, a phone and a wallet are important. But if you compare it to other bigger problems, it is not really a big deal. Lost a phone? Save and buy a new phone. Lost a wallet? Then buy a new wallet. The money that you lose, you can still earn it. I mean losing it will neither lead to desperation, suicide bombing, jumping over the bridge nor a mass killing of people. But still, sometimes, people react to certain situations like the world is against them.
BUT IT’S NOT. SERIOUSLY.
Find the strength from within and use it to give you the power to rise above the ordeals. Because no matter how bad life is, there is still a lot of beautiful reasons to live. A lot of blessings to count.
LOST A JOB. Well it’s NOT the only job in the world. There are so many jobs out there. First, remove all the pessimism like I am old, I don’t have a degree, I am not pretty, I am not smart enough or I don’t have connections. If you allow those things inside your head, you are your worst enemy. Just be patient and determined. Look for a part-time job. Start a small time business or direct selling. Take seminars or training while waiting. Improve yourselves and your skills. Count one blessing.
LOST A LOVED ONE. Look, you still have other members of the family and relatives. You have your friends. You have your neighbors. Co-workers. The whole village. The entire universe. Go abroad and find friends and who knows you may find a new love. You can even find one on the internet without even leaving our seat. The reasons are endless. Just don’t focus on the past. That part of your story is done. You’ve got to move on. Moving on doesn’t mean you are forgetting that special person. You are healing from the pain. So, count your blessing.
FAILED THE COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM. Try it again. Try another school, town or city. Or take a review class and take it again next year. There are old people who despite of their age are still able to go to college and graduate, right? You are still young with a healthy mind and body. Count that as a big blessing.
HAD A MISCARRIAGE. If you are healthy and capable then, try having another baby in two years time. If you are medically challenged, seek an expert for help. If you can afford it, avail a surrogacy service. If all else fails, adopt an orphan or a pet. Live your life the best way you can. God has a reason for it. We don’t know why. But you are still alive. Just do it, count your blessing.
AN ABANDONED OR ORPHANED CHILD. It was part of your past. The past don’t remain in the present. Forget about why parents could do something like that. Perhaps, they had their issues back then. They were weak-minded, poor or incapable of raising a child. They just did the best thing that they know. Forgive them. Don’t let it define your future. Be grateful that you have grown up to be a fine person. Count your blessing. Use it as an inspiration when you have your own child. When it happens, count another blessing.
MET AN ACCIDENT THAT LEFT BOTH LEGS PARALYZED. You have other parts of the body that are still working and capable of doing things. You mind is as keen as ever to do crossword puzzles. Your eyesight has 20/20 vision and can see that sexy lady who walks by. Your hearing is okay and can hear the chirping of the birds. Your arms can hug your family and hold your baby or dog. My point is, no matter how desperate your situation is, find something that could still make you say, “I’M OKAY.” “ I CAN DO IT.” When that happens. count all your blessings.
There are a lot of things in this world that you can find worthy of living. Things that you usually ignore because you are in the midst of an electronically wired world. Nature for instance. Mountains. Lakes. The moon and the stars. The grasses and shrubs. The birds and the butterflies. Most importantly, the people who supports and understands you. Count all these blessings.
Sometimes, life sucks and shit happens. These are inevitable. You are here on earth to survive these challenges because it is the only way to toughen up. You need to adapt to the situation or die. Life is not only complicated, it’s also complex and crazy. If your emotional constitution is weak. The rest of your body, soul and spirit will be spiraling down into the abyss of nothingness – and you lose.
Always find something to smile about. Always find joy in things that doesn’t seem to matter. Even little things have its own way of bringing gladness into people’s heart. It’s just a matter of opening your eyes and committing yourself to it.
Then try this.
Think of an imaginary jar and fill it with all the wonderful things that you are thankful and grateful about your life. Go, fill it to the brim. When it’s overflowing, close your eyes and say,” Now, it’s time for me to share it with others, Thank you Lord, for all the your blessings.”