Falling in Love with Someone You Can’t Have

(Photo Credit: firstcovers.com850)

In a perfect world, tayo ay iibig sa isang taong magbibigay ng saya at liwanag sa ating buhay at vice versa at mananatiling ganun habang buhay, palakpakan! May forever! oh diba ang saya ng buhay pagibig pag ganun. But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world at ang madalas na nangyayari ay ang kabaliktaran. Umiibig tayo sa maling tao, sa taong hindi tayo kayang mahalin pabalik.

(Photo Credit: firstcovers.com850)
(Photo Credit: firstcovers.com850)

Maraming reasons kung bakit hindi tayo kayang mahalin ng taong mahal natin and no matter what are these reasons are, isa lang naman ang outcome, (drum roll!!)… walking away with a broken heart. But, is there a way to deal with something like this and make it a bit easier on yourself? Some people believe there is and others just believe that you must go through your heartaches and see them through to the end. However, may mga paraan naman para maiwasan ang mga sitwasyong gaya ng ma-inlove sa taong hindi kailanman ay magiging sa ‘yo.

First…Learn to remove yourself from situations FAST!

Ito na siguro ang pinakamabisang paraan para maiwasan mong masaktan ang iyong feelings. Kasi usually naman eh, you can tell when you are becoming attracted to someone right away. But if the object of your affection happens to be married or attached with someone else or worst, to your best friend or something like that, then ang pinaka-mabuti mong gawin is to avoid this person like a plague until you have overcome whatever desires you may be feeling. Hindi ito madaling gawin sa totoo lang dahil human nature tells us to go after what we want regardless of the price we will have to pay. Pero, ito din ang nag-seseperate sa atin sa ibang mga animals. We, unlike wild animals ay alam natin kung ano ang tama at kung ano ang mali and if something feels wrong then we must use our morals and values para ialis natin ang sarili natin sa mga sitwasyong ito kahit pa masakit sa simula. Keep in mind that the deeper you get into a situation the harder it will be to walk away from. Kaya sa umpisa pa lang kung alam mo ng may mali, iwasan mo na kapatid, takbuhan mo na kapatid habang maaga pa.

Next, Do not reveal your feelings.

Kung alam mo din naman na ang taong gusto mo ay kasal na or committed na sa ibang relationship, it will not be a good idea to open up a can of worms by revealing your feelings!. sus ginoo at ginaa! Why complicate matters further? Yes, there is a good possibility that the person you have your eye on will return your feelings pero do you really want to be the person who breaks up a relationship? Chances are, if you take some time to consider this question, you will take the high road my friend. Napaka-gulo ng sitwasyong papasukin mo,promise. It’s war! And, not only will this cause another person to feel heartache but kailangan mo ding tandaan na kung paano mo na-obtained ang taong mahal mo ay maaariing parehas din kung pano sya mawawala sayo. This means na kung nakuha mo sya by stealing him/her from another person then in some point in time iiwan ka din nya at ipagpapalit ka sa iba, kasi people usually repeat the same patterns they did and that is a fact. So, is this something that you want to live with? huh? hoy! sumagot ka! Hahaha..joke ko lang. By keeping your feelings to youself kaya mong iwasan ang temptations na ma-inlove sa maling tao and walk away with more ease, diba? mas madali pag ganun. Itago mo na lang yan at ilaan mo sa taong karapatdapat.

Moving on… You cannot make a person return your feelings.

People love who they love and you cannot make a person feel something that he/she is not feeling. Walang ganun! hindi natin kayang utusan ang ating mga puso kaya wag ka ding aasa na suklian ng taong mahal mo yung pagmamahal na nilalaan mo para sa kanya dahil sa una pa lang hindi ka na nya mahal. Ganito lang yan, Either a person wants to be with you or he/she does not. There is no usually a middle ground where love is concerned. If you have set your sights on a person who has made it clear to you that he/she does not share your feelings then you should walk away from that situation right away and move onto something that is meant for you. Lahat ay may nakatadhana sa atin, bawat tao ay may nakalaan na karapatdapat. The key is in knowing the difference between shared love and one sided love. There are no tactics and tricks when it come sa usapang pagibig at puso. Kahit gaano pa kadami ang nababasa mo sa mga internet sites na advices, you can forget about it dahil if a person does not want you, he/she does not want you! yun na yun. Learn to move on and move to the next person and cut your losses before you find yourself living an emotional nightmare.

Last but not the least… Geographical Cures.

In some cases you may be in so much turmoil over a person that you might need to consider drastic measure such as picking up and leaving the entire area in order to put distance between you and the one you love, magpakalayo-layo ka. A geographical cure does not work well for things like drug addiction or other psychological problems but when it comes to removing yourself from the presence of a person who you are in love with but cannot have, sasabihin ko na sayo, this is an excellent solution, trust me it is. Kahit na temporary lang na pagalis mo sa lugar na yun, distance and time have been known to work wonders together in healing a broken heart. Chances are when you get to your destination it won’t be long before someone else comes along to help you forget the person you have been pining over.

The truth of the matter is that falling in love with someone you cannot have is going to be hard on you no matter what you do to try and remedy the situation. Ngunit ,subalit, datapwat kaibigan, ang pinaka-importanteng bagay na dapat lagi mong tandaan ay that feeling do fade with time and if kaya mong maging at manatiling matatag and exercise a little bit of will power then you will get through the experience. In fact, you can consider situations like this as learning experiences. Some say there is no pain like that of a broken heart and most of us know this to be true. Fortunately, this is also the type of pain that can heal with minimal scars if we just focus on ourselves and doing what is best for us. Not to worry because what typically happens is that the moment you stop looking for your soul mate is the moment he or she flies into your life.

P.S. I just realized about this a day ago. I-shashare ko lang po ang aking mga natutunan sa aking experience. Maraming salamat sa pagbabasa.

About marckus

A system programmer by profession and a musician, graphic artist, painter, inventor(sort of ^_^), and also a writer by passion. I believe that there are still other more skills and talents inside me, and I want to get this talent out.(and I know you should do the same. We are full of talents, we just need to discover it ourselves.) I love to do, discover, and invent new things. Writing is just my way to express what I want to tell the world. I'm not a famous person, but I think I can still prove my self. I don't want fame, I just want to share. It's like self-amusement thing or something like that. :)I'm just happy if some people are happy because of me. It's like something that makes my heart smile after I saw someone using my invention, reading my novel, poem or script, or listening to the songs I wrote. Even if they don't know that the inventor, the writer or the musician is me, I don't care. The important thing is that they love what I did and that's enough for me. That's a very vague explanation, but the idea is, I just want to do something good or something right or something that all people can benefit with during my entire life. Don't call me a hero because I'm no hero. I just want to be somebody that even if my name is forgotten, but my works will be remembered.