Falling in love is not for the Fainthearted: Optimizing Your Love IQ

Photo credit to lovelifepoems.com
Photo credit to lovelifepoems.com
Photo credit to lovelifepoems.com

Have you ever been ever bitten by a bug called “love”? We have to admit the first was the best, which was when we were just in our teens. Others maybe as early as, when they are in grade school.

The feeling was new, and if there was big-bang theory in terms of how the world came about, this one was the big bang, which started our journey — to falling in and falling out of love.

It was a breathtaking moment, which awakened our sense of deep attachment to another human being, in a more intense way that affected all our physical being.

It was extremely a wondrous feeling. There was no past to speak of — no future to think of –only that moment. Therefore, we were able to enjoy it – no matter if it was reciprocated or not.

After all, we were just young people in love – no thoughts of marriage, kids or the future. However, suffice to say, everyone has to grow out of that.

Now what mistakes do people do when confronted by this emotion? It is either they act it out hastily, or run as far away as they can.

When we fall in love, it is seeing beautiful things in a particular person, which initially attracts us to them.

The intelligent way to fall in love is also to open our eyes to all the ugly things about the person, and ask ourselves; are we willing to live with the beautiful, together with the ugly?

Nobody is perfect even the person we are truly in love with. Though we have thick blinders in our eyes in the beginning, eventually we will have to deal with the ugly side of the person.

Easy to say, but when we are engulfed with the feelings of love — we feel invincible, and no threats of heartbreak can ever stop us from plunging into a relationship.

Take a step back. Take stock of your own strengths and weaknesses. Your preparedness to be in a relationship spells your success in this area.

Your intention in having a relationship with a person should be a celebration of life for both of you, and not a dependency. I always hear people say, choose someone whom you cannot live without, and not whom you can live with.

It is a faulty adage in my opinion, because what is most important is, that the person you will choose to be with will have to have characteristics and personalities that you can live with. Otherwise — you will end up living without him, because you may not be able to stand his frailties and faults in the long run.

Love is a choice that should be both decided, by a bright mind and a happy heart.

Do not fool yourself by thinking that your brain is at rest when you are in love. Actually, you might even notice – your brain even helps you to defend your choices, even though an inner voice is telling you to dump the person.

When there is a struggle within you, it only means that you are choosing the wrong person.

Make a list of your personal improvements when you are with the person.

Take stock of all the friends you lost, when you entered that relationship. That is a good

Remember all the sacrifices you did. Does it signal that your life may be heading for more sacrifices?

Is the relationship – a picture of what you want your life to be?

You must be able to answer these questions truthfully.

Fall in love, but do not fall too hard.

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