I was full of loathing.
For us both. But I hated myself more, because I allowed everything to ruin what I tried so hard to build. My walls, the silence. Even the numbness.
It took so long for me to get here, but in a snap you turned it into rubble.
I wanted to shower you with needles and knives so you would feel how shattered I am now. Because I let you in. Because I allowed the chaos you bring.
I wanted to bathe you with expletives until all the ugly words in all languages gets exhausted, that I would have to borrow more from other worlds still unknown. Or even those long forgotten. I wish I could bury you there, too.
But then, I remember I survived. I lived. Barely, but I’m still here.
I would only need to remember how my walls were built, and re-master the silence. This time, I know never to let anyone in. The cargo in this ship still has value, no matter how little. I should not let anyone else reduce and crush me more than I already am.
This girl still breathes. She would live. Another scar won’t kill her, no matter how deep it is.
This too, shall pass. Everything does. I just need to always remember this.