Don’t Date a Boy Who Travels

I just wrote a parody on dating a boy who travels which was actually inspired by another blog with the title, Date A Boy Who Travels. The link and the complete text is in my travelblog – travelcentralph.

Here goes…

Travel is his priority. Not you, not anything else.

Money is nothing… or everything. Yeah, he will tell you that money is not his priority. But you can bet your neighbor that he goes on an auto compute mode for every expense (that means the thing you ordered on your dinner date) to see how much he has left for his next travel.

Unless you don’t get embarassed to be seen eating out in the most (insert adjective) or God-what-is-this-place awfully  “great/unique/outofthisworld” dining place, better bring your huge (but make sure that its a cheapo) sunglasses that can cover half of your face. Or that bandana or sarong, or whatever comes in handy.

And make sure you always have your health card with you just in case you ate the wrong food.

Always bring tissue paper. Always. You will find out on your own why, and you will thank me for this.

He will tell great stories, smile, laugh, make animated gesticulations, give some good shoulder massage, and even do well-choreographed begging (if necessary) just so he can control you and go to the sites he already planned before you two met. Watch out for this.

Don’t expect gentlemanly behavior from him. Yes, he may had seen a lot of social realities (you know, poverty and sleeping with cockroaches) that he became more socially sensitive. But you are a different thing. You have become a companion and an equal. And equals don’t deserve any special attention. Definitely nothing special above himself.

Make sure you have money,  lots of money tucked or stitched somewhere and only you would know where to get them. Trust me, there is extreme agony and panic in discovering that the guy who brought you to a most exotic and isolated place cannot bring you home.

Date a boy who’s lived out of  a backpack coz he knows how to live happily with with less?  Hmmm… Better check what’s inside to see how he cleverly hides the lightest, smallest, most durable and most expensive gadgets you can only drool on.

You know what morning breath is, don’t you? Make that a whole day breath. Why? He simply does not care! Live the life! Oh, and you can include man-smell with that. You’re complaining? Then expect goo goo eyes and an impish smile, nothing more.

A guy who travels usually zones out. See those eyes staring at nowhere? That smiling or puckering lips? And sometimes incomprehensible murmurrings? You’re simply not there….

But if you’re after a very different kind of experience and stories to put in your life box, go ahead – date a boy who travels. I always assuage my travel companions that miserable travels are more memorable. And yes, they make you zone out, cry, curse, smile, laugh and shake and nod your head at the same time. And thank God you survived that event in your life.

About Caloy Libosada

I have been a tourism and travel advocate not only because I've seen the beauty of the Philippines but also realized how tourism can change the lives of the people who benefit from the industry.