Dear (c)

Image: Last Stop by Davide D'Amico

Dear (c)

This is for those girls who love to travel and find love in unexpected times and still confused if that is love that they found ..don’t worry, at least you found out that we are just girls who has very vulnerable and big hearts to share .

Dear (c)

Seriously I don’t know why I’m writing these things. All I know is that I want to write this hoping that you will be able to read this message and think that it’s me who wrote this. But please don’t confront me if you know it’s me ..?

When I met you, I know it’s not by chance, maybe we’ve met for me to realize that my ideal man still exists, very caring and charming. I know that there is no such thing as ideal, we just fall in love for no reason.

The first day when I saw you with your friend, I thought you and him was a couple .. so I thought both of you are gays, then as we talked and got to know each other, I realized you are just good friends and I saw how you treated him like a brother. Well I said to myself ..this guy is very cute and his jollyness is very contagious.

Eventually when we went island hopping, I was amazed how kind, intelligent and very witty you are ..then later on, when we went drinking, when you looked at me, I saw the loneliness in your eyes…

I don’t know where is it coming. I said to myself I hope whatever is making you feel sad, may God comfort you and give you peace coz you deserve it. I saw the goodness in your heart even in small acts that you do. Then as we were talking, you came near me, and showed me a note on your phone.

Seriously I didn’t remember what was on that note, and until now it bothers me ..I was drunk that time but I remember only one word and that’s love ..hahahaha I’m so assuming !! after drink and went  to our rooms, I couldn’t fall asleep thinking of you and my heart beat faster… that was the first time it happened to me and I said to myself I in love with you ??

The next day we were about to leave, you seemed very cold, you didn’t look at me ..and I was saddened, what did I do wrong? You were very casual ..then when you were about to leave first you didn’t even say bye ..and I asked myself what’s wrong just kept on texting on your phone ..and I said to myself, maybe not hearing anything from you simply means goodbye…

I thought that was the end, that my feelings will eventually be gone afterwards ..maybe I was just overwhelmed with the idea that I love your personality. Then you added me on FB and we had some small talks, and you have my heart again…because you are very funny…and I saw mostly on your post is very coy and some shows that you are lonely ..and that makes my heart feel bad.

Then you have some post on FB that seems to me like you are in love with someone ..and I was really happy about that .

As the days drifted by,I decided to join your trip….just to see you again, and confirm what is this I’m feeling ..but it so happened that you were not able to come with us because of your work ..just said to myself maybe it was not really meant to be ..

It’s been months, and still I was hoping that I will be able to see your contagious smile and tell myself that, ‘hey it’s just infatuation and you are not really in love with him. It’s just crush. but I really can’t help myself, coz I’m thinking of you everyday even at work .. even during at my busiest days, you are always on my mind ..making me smile and thinking what could have happened.

I really really like you (c), but I’m not that selfish to wish that you will like me. For now my wish is that may you find the girl that can take away the sadness in your eyes, and the happiness that you shared with your family and friends will be given back to you. And that may we both find the love that we both deserve in God’s perfect time… and I hope that unanswered question if I’m in love with you, will soon be gone and be replaced with just a smile, knowing that you are happy now.

It’s the first time that I gave God a definite name that I want to grow old with, that sounds absurd right can a girl wish right away for someone she just met for two days only?

Lesson learned: Don’t rush things and unanswered prayers doesn’t mean no. It means yes, that something better is waiting for me though.


Photo by Davide D’Amico