Expectations are integral part of any relationships, there is no denying that; and no matter how we try to be understanding and indulgent because we love the person; we always have this idea that some things should be met in order for the relationship to be called “ideal”, and make us feel contented.
Both sides’ hopes to be able to see that those basic things they want are always present. However, aside from those basic components, there will always be things that would constitute more effort and a little sacrifice from the partner to make the other happy — which oftentimes become the deal breaker.
Some people would not surrender their own idea of perfect relationship because it is their comfort zone in a relationship. Both should examine the substance of each expectation to the overall health of the relationship, as this will eventually resurface if not dealt with a deeper understanding.
When people break up, it only signals that both have reach the point where moving forward is already in itself a battle. It does not mean that love is entirely lost for some couple – it only signifies that a great change has to be made in order for the relationship to move from its present stage and take another form for it to survive.
Sometimes breaking up is a means to lay on the table all the resentments, failed expectations, disappointments and hurts that are difficult to express when a relationship is going through a stage where both are trying so hard not to rock the boat, although both knew a storm is brewing in the horizon.
Breaking up is like opening up the floodgates, where both can express their hurts and pains with no boundaries because they know, they do not have to face the person another day. Yet deep inside, wishes that the other person heard from the heart and not from the ears. It is sometimes a desperate cry for a reform in the relationship.
Nevertheless, it does not mean that you are not hurting or devastated – you have only took a stance similar to taking a stand in the court room where you have to hold up your emotions, to get your message clear to the other person as effectively as you can .
These are kind of break-ups that somehow hope to find a tiny spark of hope for a possible reconciliation.
Breaking up evaluates your true feelings toward your partner both objectively and subjectively, and not necessarily the relationship.
The relationship maybe imperfect in some ways, but because your feelings toward the person is genuine and the love is real, you will become the person that is shaped to be the person that will fit the relationship without discomfort in order to make up.
Do you have to be untrue to yourself or give up some of your beliefs to make up? The answer lies on how much peace, happiness and contentment you will derive from giving the relationship another chance.
A constant and no-holds barred communication is extremely essential in the making up stage and the months afterwards.
Words of reassurance and loving attention are tantamount to oxygen — to give life to a relationship that almost lost its breath.
In addition, making up can only work – if both will forgive each other and not look back at each other’s fault. When people go through breaking up, it is not only the hurtful words that should be forgiven .But also most importantly each other’s sins — which lead to the break up.
They should both consider the hurtful words spoken during break up, as withered leaves that should be thrown into the fire and should never be remembered –maybe only in jest to be laugh about.
If you truly love each other–start new and start fresh.