What you did to me is graver than original sin no ordinary soul could ever bear it.
You inflicted death into my heart that I’ve forgotten how to breathe. I cannot forget who you were but I can always forget who I was with all those days and moments spent with you. Because for every single moment I’d go back in time to think even just the slightest memory of you, it will be a wasted time. And I’m not going to waste my time spending some time with you in thought.
The number of times you took advantage of me cannot be recounted but I needed only this moment to stop it. You don’t own me now and time is all mine to befriend again.
I apologize with time for ignoring it, for breaking its wings, for killing it for the longest period you became the center of my universe. You have loved me. Yes. But you loved to deceive the innocent in me, too.
Despite the first and the second deception, I have known nothing but to forgive you and love you more with all my heart. I trusted that someone like you will learn from your mistake, will give higher respect to love for the chances given to you, but I was wrong. Once it has been your innate even mighty powers cannot change who you are nor stop you from overplaying your role in my life but, I can. I can exercise God’s gift to us, “freewill” and today, I am over-exercising it. God forgive me, but no matter how I try, I always fail to forgive you. I wanted to but my heart says “No.” Not now. Not even when forever is gone. Only time will tell. Only God will know. Maybe in time when my dead heart starts beating again. When all the blood it has bled will be recirculated and start pumping again. When my cheeks turn red, as red as this apple I am looking at, then maybe, just maybe, you’re forgiven.
But the red apple is always tempting.
Can you refuse a bite?
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