Air

Photo by jill111 (Pixabay)

There are days when you would rather be alone, and it’s okay.

And in some, you choose to drown yourself in noise, just so you won’t hear the constant bickering of your own thoughts. Just so you’ll be deaf and numb, there’s no room for doubts or sadness, or anything. And that’s okay, too.

In some days, the sun rays sting, you long for the night air and moonbeams. And people say you are weird and dark. It’s okay. They might know not our struggles. Forgive them a little.

And there are times, the night get so dark, it seems without hope and it feels endless. It’s okay to long for some sunshine. It’s alright if you wish some of it would slit through the tattered walls and broken windows. We are allowed some respite.

At times, you feel so broken. Like nothing you do is ever worth it. Or you feel so alone, it feels like sinking and no way to get to shore. It’s okay. Just stay afloat, just be still and try not to sink.

I only hope we never forget how to breathe.

Just slow breaths.

Photo by alfcermed (Pixabay)

Even when it feels like the most difficult thing to do. Even if it hurts too much to stay afloat. Or be still. Or live.

When it feels like there’s no one in sight, please don’t feel so bad, if you have to save your self. You need saving, too. Even when you feel least worth it. Especially then.

We don’t belong fully to this world. And at times, it feels it would be better without us in it. But please remember when it needed us still. And nothing is permanent. Things fade. People die a little each day. Not everything is your fault. Sometimes, it’s not your fault at all.

And please know, you are never alone. Somewhere, someone like us breathe through the struggle. Hoping to be found, or find some worth. Don’t let us down. Please don’t leave us.

For only those who have battled those monsters would understand. No one knows the same pain, or have seen the same darkness. Or drowned in the same, helpless. Blinded. Bruised. Suffocated.

When it feels most difficult, please just pause. Don’t give up yet.

And I hope, one day, Fate would smile on us. We may find ourselves staring at kindred souls who understand.

I hope that day would come.

And in between the scorching sun or endless dark nights, we might find a secret patch of heaven in a corner, where there’s a bit of rain. We might find each other. And we might get to dance again.

But for now, all I ask is for you to hold still. You can close your eyes. Or try to numb yourself, be deaf, if that helps. Just please bear a little more.

Please. Just be. And let’s breathe for each other.

 

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