A wife’s struggle having an alcoholic husband

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I am 26 years old and a mother of 2, and sadly, my husband is an alcoholic.

He was raised with siblings and neighbors who  are also alcoholics. I couldn’t blame him for that because it wasn’t his choice to be raised in that kind of environment.

He thought it was just normal to drink alcohol most days and also to get drunk as long as he never did anything wrong to others.

Am I wrong if I’ll say that being drunk most days is not good? It’s true that he has never really done something bad when he is drunk and when he is sober it’s just a normal day for him. Likewise, he thought that he never had short comings with his children.

Whenever he’s drinking alcohol I feel depressed because he chose to to with his friends rather than his family. He chose to bond with his friends thru drinking because thats the only thing he knew he can do to make them like him. I dont actually mind if he drinks occasionally but doing it almost everyday? I thinks its too much. Everyday Im trying to reach for him, explaining my feelings with regards to his habits but he was firm with his reason and justify that he drinks with his friends to bond with them, and that he was raised likep that (drinker) and that its hard for him to change his habits. Are those reason acceptable? Should i just accept it and say “Okay, I can’t do anything about it. So drink to your heart’s content”.

Every night that he comes home drunk early in the morning (6:00am) I couldn’t help myself from getting mad. I couldn’t sleep the whole night worrying about him and there he was, all drunk.

He never even considers that he has a wife who would be worrying about him, and that he has children. Then I started scolding him when he gets sober, and hearing the same reason again and again pisses me off.

Until when is he going to use the word “Bonding” everytime he gets drunk?

His alcoholic sessions with his friends suddenly became more often and that he never turns down any of their offer.

I did try to talk to him but he’s really closed minded; insisting there’s nothing wrong on what he’s doing because he never harms anyone and that he is still doing his responsibility as a father.

I couldn’t do anything, he never listens.

Then one day, I stopped getting mad at him, I don’t scold him anymore and everytime he drinks with his friends, I just cry silently in my room. He once saw me crying, and I thought he would approach me and comfort me, but then he just ignored me and went back to his friends and continued drinking.

I feel really hopeless. Every time he drinks I cry a lot, praying to God and wishing that someday he will realize what he’s doing.

I feel so alone, I never brought this up with my family and friends because I don’t want them to know that I am having this problem with him. I feel so embarrassed to bring it out, so I kept this problem to myself. I feel so depressed and it is real.

So many times I felt that I want to give up, end my life, so he would take notice me and realize my importance, but then seeing my kids, I couldn’t. I am being selfish if I would do that; leaving my kids to their alcoholic father. I couldn’t stand to leave them; in fact I realized that I want to live longer for them. I want to guide them until they grow up. So I chose to live longer for my kids and endure the emotional pain that my husband is giving me every time he’s drinking. I don’t know how long I could stand this depression. I just hope that I can survive this with God’s help and my children.

-Unhappy wife