90 Days

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How good you look when you smile, how much I loved your laugh. I loved the way  you bring yourself. Your body was so beautiful and attractive it made me so proud to be with you. I  day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversations, laughing at funny things that you said or did. Reminiscing our memory together.  Now I’ve memorized your face and the way you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time we will meet again. I know one thing for sure; it will be a happy moment and peaceful time again. With you my whole world stops.

Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me, for saying that you love me, for saying everyday how you miss me, for showing how you care and receiving my love in return. As time went by, I have realized that every day with you were a nice surprise and a memory that I want to treasure forever.  I thought it will last.

Thank  you for giving me such wonderful 90 days of my life. In these days I have learnt that you had amazed me more than the astonishment I felt after staring at the sun set while gently and beautifully fading in the grayish sky.  I thought there will be no other significant thing that could ever replace that kind of admiration, but you did.

Every day since you came into my life, I am always stunned by the way you talk, the sound of your voice, the perfect smile, movement of your body and the look in your eyes. Those are so special that still make my heart  and soul to fall deeply and madly. Those things touched my days and night to be so majestic and fantastic.  The  90 days that past with you were superb and magnificent.

I know, the connection between us is so mutual. It is a relationship  not only between the two of us, but it is the connections of our soul, because sometimes it is not only our hearts that talk but our soul.  We are each other soul mate, as what you always say, though we had found each other at the wrong time and at a different place, still  the love that we give to each other is pure. I thought it was pure. The most beautiful love that I have ever felt that give me no courage to lose you. I thought I cannot lose you because I love you so dearly.

I still remember the day when you held my hand, touch my hair up, kissed the back of my neck and you asked me to be yours forever, to be your last love.  Those words were like magic, it made me feel so weak and rely in your strong arms hugging me tightly.

But after 90 days I got hurt. It was you who broke my heart. Suddenly you become stranger to me. I asked but you didn’t tell me what was going in your life. After 90 days I began to know you again. The truth has come. You love me yes, but there were lots of things you have with you that I do not know. You have too much secrets. You told me you cannot say because you are afraid to lose me, which you do not want to be left alone.  I almost want to give up that day.  I thought that is what I want to do. Still, you are showing how important I am to you.

After 90 days I searched for some truth about you and found out I am not that only one you have. I asked you again and you told me that you are happier with me.  I thought I could always give my unconditional love to you. Yes, I can because I will give you up with your secrets, I will give you up not because you hurt me, but because I can endure the heartaches of losing you just to make you free and I had made myself ready for that. I know what we have right now is just temporary.

You need me right now because you are not with your family and you are longing for someone who loves you. You need me to make you happy without thinking that I needed you too not the way you needed me.

After 90 days  I felt that you are just using me so I need to wake up and leave you, because I need my dignity too.

Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go. But I am not blaming myself for loving you.

Though I know I cannot go back before the 90 days with you and make a brand new start, I can start from now on and make a brand new ending.

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About Emode

I write if I am emotionally sad, I write if am deeply happy. I write if I am in-love, I write if I am angry... I write because I have lots of stories in my mind, I think my emotion is my motivation why I can compose articles, because I write what’s on my mind, what I feel and what I dreamed for…