Question: Why do girls keep falling in love with unconventional men (by unconventional, I mean: war-freak, playboy, and antipatiko) rather than the guy next door type? What is it about these bad guys that makes a girl go nuts?
Girls, what is your plea? Because I am guilty as charged. Seriously, what’s so interesting about these bad guys? I feel as if this is all Robin “Binoy” Padilla’s fault. We grew up watching his movies or, if not, at least he was our basis of a guy’s machismo. I mean, when someone asks you to describe the guy you just met, and you tell them, “mala-Robin ang dating,” kinikilig tayo, pinapatulan natin yung guy even if he’s a rumoured womanizer, malakas uminom, at nanapak. It’s like saying we prefer those maginoo pero medyo bastos type, don’t we?
Ladies finds bad boys attractive like how most men gets attracted to girls with nice curves; they are like a trophy boyfriend/girlfriend. Someone you can flaunt to your friends. And those nerdy types? We normally dump them because the truth is, we find them boring.
I surveyed for this question before I even wrote this. All of their responses lead to this two reasons: A woman thinks she’s secured with a bad guy; they are untouchables!; or, it’s a great feeling knowing that such a “badass” would change all for his love to his girlfriend.
True enough, we girls love being challenged. We find fulfilment when we are able to change guys. I’m a woman but there are times when I myself can’t figure out what’s wrong with me.
Why do we measure a man’s love by how they abide by our sets of rules (e.g. He disobeyed me; I thinks he’s into someone else; He doesn’t love me anymore, etc.)
But among all those who responded, one of the best answers I got was from Borj. Yes, Mr. Meneses. He said, “that’s the mother instinct in you. You want to tame and spank those misbehaving kids.” He got me thinking for minutes and I realized, hmm, that made sense. That might explain the fulfilment we find whenever someone changes for us.
I had the chance to chat with old friends King and Teroy last night so I brought up this topic again, and King said, “I pity those bad guys, kasi once nabago na sila nung girl, they don’t like them anymore. Girls feel that they are not the same guy they once fell in love with. Wala nang swag.” And I found myself nodding: “Oo nga naman, ang labo lang natin minsan. Well, that’s if, and only if, she was really able to change the man. But what if not? Is this where those battered girlfriends come from–those girls who are beaten physically or emotionally? Most of these girls are perfectly aware that their men have the tendency to be violent. They’ve been warned from the very start but, like I said, we love being challenged so we keep picking them.
In my case though, I think I wanted a tough guy who could tame me instead and not the other way around. I think I am dominant when it comes to relationships. So, I thought unpleasant guys were cool, masochistic lang ang dating (laughs out loud!) but I was darn wrong. It isn’t always like that. ‘Di lahat ng maginoo medyo bastos; yung iba bastos lang, ‘di na nabahiran ng pagka-maginoo. I don’t blame myself though for liking them once in my life.
I’ll quote Kat’s line: “It didn’t feel so stupid way back then.” Maybe because we were too young that time and we were still fascinated with super heroes, and when someone overprotects us we believe this is the prince charming we’ve waited for so long.
It’s just kind of hard to comprehend the fact that we keep hoping to find the husband-material yet we keep choosing douche bags. The good news? You’ll grow older and as you turn from girl to a woman everything is going to change. Your ideals, beliefs and standards about men and relationships are gonna change in time.
The bad news? You are now going to search for those rare good men or those nerds you dumped before. As the saying goes, “nerds are the new rockstars.”
Funny as it seems but the true book to understanding women is yet to be written. ?
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