I know I have to do this. I have to let him go, even though he keeps on pushing himself to be a part of my life. I have to keep him away from me. He maybe thinks that he knows my story, but it would only be the shallow part. I don’t want him to be miserable. I don’t want him to wait if everything’s uncertain and insecure, especially me. I don’t want him to suffer any longer. So I have no choice but to push him away, even if we know that we really like each other.
At least even if I hurt him, it would only be an ant’s bite, compared to the wounds and scars that I might cause him after giving him the chance or giving him the hope for us to be together—- making him wait — in vain.
I do not own my life still. I am tied and linked to all of the people I love, those people I love who needs help and assistance. And more than anyone else, they need me. I have to make a sacrifice in order for all of them to be okay—even if it would cost my own happiness.
I think they are happy. And the way I see it, I know they would be happy if they know what I have done. They think that it would be the right thing to do to secure my future. No, that would be the right thing to do not only to secure mine, but theirs too. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to give back to your parents, but I know somehow it can be one reason why they wouldn’t want me to have a boyfriend.
I think they are happy that I’m safe. They would say that I’m too young for that, or I should just focus first on my studies. I’m happy too. No worries. They wouldn’t know that I’m in love. They wouldn’t know that I just broke my heart. They wouldn’t know that, I, too, can sacrifice and would sacrifice for them. I have sacrificed my feelings for them. They wouldn’t know. All they know is that they are the one’s sacrificing for us; for me.
But my sacrifice would only be a ‘nano-sacrifice.’ Now, why would I want to make a list of who’s had so many sacrifices at all? I think that would be invalid. We make a sacrifice because we love. And love is immeasurable, that’s why sacrifices are, too.
Why do we need to make a sacrifice? Now I know. It’s for the sake of happiness of everyone. But happiness doesn’t always mean that you always get what you want or your deep wishes should come true. Sometimes, sacrifice is a form of happiness, for in doing so you know that it would mean smiles for everyone even though yours could be a sad face. In the end, as you’ll see the result, seeing them smiling will make you happy also.
Sacrifice is a form of happiness because you always know that you can’t always have everything and it will turn out that you’ll just be contented with what you have, with the outcomes of every choices,every decisions that you make—- for it has been done and can never be changed. Sacrifice is happiness; and happiness is, humility.
“Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are.”
- I’m Scared of You - February 17, 2016
- Bukas na Liham para sa mga Matang Mapanghusga - March 27, 2015
- Prayer - March 21, 2015
- Mga Tanong na Mahirap Sagutin - December 16, 2014
- My Father’s Towel - July 29, 2014
- “Tuesdays with Morrie” - July 22, 2014
- 20 and Vulnerable - March 21, 2014
- For Richer, For Poorer - March 20, 2014
- Of Hopes and Infatuation - January 16, 2014
- Believe - December 31, 2013