I am a firm believer of the spirit of forgiving and remembering – forgiving who has hurt me and remembering what has caused me pain. To be able to forgive
truly is to go through the process of moving on and getting over what is done and what can never be taken back. Moving on is not about forgetting and burying all the pain but learning and getting wiser through it to avoid the same pavement that once caused me suffering and tears.
If we truly want to forgive those who hurt us, why can’t the memory linger with us? When we love too much we tend to give too much. Only then when we experience heartbreak do we become conscious that we have lost ourselves in the act of loving someone unreserved. I don’t want to forget just to forgive because the bittersweet memories molded me into what I am today. To immerse yourself in love is also exposing yourself to pain. I want to keep the memory of hurt and countless nights of tears so as to be reminded of how much I once loved and have been loved. I always want to remember what has once kept me at the epitome of my happiness and sadness. I want to forgive not with a forgetful heart but with a heart that has been hurt but has learned to accept the pain of yesterday.
If we forget and forget the mistakes of the past, never will we learn. The past will drown us into an abyss of pain we keep on inflicting on ourselves. When we learn to forgive, remember and accept yesterday’s pain only then will we be able to love again. To love again is another chance on happiness; it may be starting anew with the same person who has hurt you in the past or a new person you’re willing to risk another heartbreak for. Either way, none of these relationships would work if we keep on forgetting where it all went wrong before, we feel the same pain and we find ourselves trapped in an equally painful cycle. If we keep all these mistakes, if we don’t let them get buried elsewhere, is when we get to feel better, stronger and wiser for the next path we choose to journey on.
I want to remember all these to create something better with the same person who has hurt me in the past. I want to correct all the mistakes we have both done not because I want to save what we had but to take our chances on loving again and starting anew from a very different level. I want to remember because I want this to last. I don’t want to lose him for the second time. Forgiving, remembering and accepting the past have allowed me to trust him again. Even though what we have now doesn’t have the certainty of a lifetime, at least I can say that I have become wiser, I have loved and learned from a higher and more mature perspective.
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