Many parents have always complained how hard it is to raise teenagers like us.
I saw a lot of articles and blogs about how hard it is to manage or handle you teeny. I decided to make this blog so some parents can understand what’s going on the mind and body of some teenagers. I’ll also add things I learned from my Psychology classes that may help. I’m not yet a parent so don’t expect for so good tips. I’ll just explain the concept and I hope that you may derive something from these concepts. I believe understanding is one of the key for proper action.
I learned from my Family Psychology class this stage is also the so called “sandwich generation” for the parents. Parents are already in their middle age and usually, the grandparents start to seek support due to their old age. Their comes the conflict between the teenies and the oldies who at the same time need much attention.
Being a teenager is the stage where we find ourselves. It is the irrevocable stage where we seek our “identity.” Seeking this so called identity encompasses a lot of things
In this stage, we seek our dreams, aspirations, likes, everything. We seek everything that will build us as a person of tomorrow. Our interests start to show up as we discover our talents and capabilities(so never stop a teenager in trying and exploring). The interests boosts up when we have found our idols, role models, and peers who are in the same track. May it be dancing, drawing, writing etc, we would always seek support and the best support is from home. Any teenager who will have supportive parents for his/her endeavor feels better and confident to face the challenges of the future. The school, the community, the environment becomes our training ground. This training ground is full of obstacles.
Next, we seek our dream and at the same time, we seek to “grow socially.”
I believe to grow socially starts with home. The role of the family is very crucial to a teenager. Please, dear parents. Don’t just give up just because we seem to be “too reckless” or “too rebellious.”
Sometimes, rebellion is a teenies’ way to seek attention. If your old mode of discipline doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to try other things. Approach your child, talk to them like a friend, be open to them. Break the wall of the usual parenting scheme(but bear in mind that teenagers still need to respect elders). Teenagers seek people who are wise enough to open themselves before they let someone in their life. We won’t be open to you, unless, you as parents will be patient to open up to us. It’s a give and take relationship.
We want to become someone and be identified with others. We want to belong. It’s the time for relationships encompassing the lower ones to the most intimates ones. I can say again, this is the time of exploration so teenies are prone to enter relationships.
Combine all the issues of the environment with puberty(which makes handling everything harder but it is still bearable). Puberty is the stage where bodily changes occur, and the sudden surge of hormones bring a lot of discomfort(which pretty explains our frequent mood swings and increased sexual desires). The imbalance of hormones are also one of the reasons why teenies usually stay late at night. Couple it with more distractions like the gadgets, school works and social activities, and the stage becomes more difficult to handle.
We handle environmental issues(outside forces) and biological issues(inside forces) at the same time. Social issues are part of the scene. Teenagers need their pillars, their source of strength and wisdom, their support group: one of the most important is the family. The family is a network: what happens to one person has an effect to everyone. Don’t ever underestimate the role of family in cultivating wisdom to the children.
I’d like to use cultivating instead of “molding or changing”. Give the teenies freedom but not too much. Let this freedom be used to explore and know themselves more and make worth it relationships(which is not limited to romantic ones).
You cannot easily mold a person the way you want him because he has an identity. This identity belongs to him and you cannot own it. You cannot easily extract an engineer from a poet, let alone a doctor from a painter. Let teenagers do what they want but don’t forget to teach them proper moral values.
I believe the best thing you can do as a parent is to teach teenagers the right and wrongs, teach him proper manners and let him grow up with proper moral values.
I’m not yet a parent, but these are the things that my beloved mom and dad did through my growing years.
Thank you to my beloved parents, for letting me grow up with an environment filled with love, support and proper discipline. I love you, Mommy and Daddy. 😀
11/1/2013 10:44 AM
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- Endless Second Chances – 32 - October 23, 2014
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