Suggestions to Improve Networking scam, I mean, schemes

1.)  Alcohol

Una sa lahat. Sa aking palagay, imbis na gamitin ng mga networking agents ang matamis at nakakaenganyong halimuyak ng frapuccino at lates, ang nakakabusog na tunog ng libreng lunch para mag initiate ng contact sa kanilang mga prospect, ay mas casual at mas convincing kung aalukin mo sila, I mean the prospects, na mag-inom. Yes, alcohol.

Kung lalaki ang prospect at lalaki ang agent, I wouldn’t seem like you’re a fag or a homo. It will be more casual. You’ll be like, “Hey bro, how bout we grab a beer sometimes?”. Clearly that wouldn’t sound so gay than “hey, bro wanna grab a coffee sometimes?”. It will be more casual with girls too, you don’t wanna sound like your hitting on her. We’ll actually more often it sounded like that. But just to be clear, sa aking palagay, mas effective ang alcohol. Alcohol plus poor judgment, based on experience, will most probably get the “YES”. And just for the record, like any decisions you make when you’re drunk, this will probably one of those you regret. They always does.

2.) Anonymous Text

If number 1 doesn’t work out, you may want to retort to sending an anonymous text to your prospect, of course you should use an anonymous number. And please read carefully, this is really important. Here is what your text should contain. “Bagong roaming number ko to, sorry d ko kayo nainform, Kamusta na kayo jan, padala ako next week ng package”. 3 out of 10 times, yes this is proven, magrereply yan, I mean si prospect. And after a little chit-chat with this dum-dum prospect, dun mo na ipasok sa usapan ang pakay mo, I mean ung product for networking. Again important, “May mabenta kase dito ngayong product, padalan mo naman ako pera kase baka magkaubusan na, malaki pa naman tinutubo ko dito”. 3 out 10 times. Trust me. And yes you can copy the message within the sarcastic quotation marks. You’re welcome.

3.)  Choosing your Prospect

I just found it puzzling. Why, for the love of God, ex-classmates (yes offense), ex-coworker (yes offense ulit), kamag-anak, malayong kamag-anak, schoolmate mo dati na inadd ka for the same reason, ka-course mo, alumnus, and seriously every friend on your facebook ang tinatarget mong prospects?. Alam mo kung sinong the best na prospects? Politicians, yes you read it right. To be more specific, anak ni mayor, si mayor, pinsan ni mayor, kagawad, barangay captain, buong kinauukulan sa barangay, bayan at distrito nyo, sa abot ng kakakapalan ng muka mo, I mean confidence. Sila dapat ang gawin mong prospects. I’m getting the gist na magkakasundo kayo.

4.) Advertisements

Imbes na agents, na inuto uto nio sa loob ng 30 minutes to 2 hours regarding a “break-through”, profitable product, ang pinaglalako nyo ng mga products. Bakit di nalang kayo umupa ng maganda chicks, promo girl ba, mag-place ng adds sa facebook google at youtube, magpagawa ng billboard kung kaya naman, to advertise your products. You know, like every serious company does.

5.) Checks and stuffs

Very often, these agents, I know, with just enough push from their recruiters, post these promiscuous rewards from joining or buying these certain networking products. Checks for thousands pesos named to them, a teammate who has just got a car, that, apparently, was the same car, posted by a different teammate, was owned by another different teammate, selling again for the love of God, a different effin product. Ano to? Hindi ko alam kung prospects ang inaakit nyo, o holdaper at magnanakaw. Yes, apparently my facebook pages na din po sila. Imbis na ganito ang ipagpopost nio, bakit hindi nalang certifications, awards, results at approvals from governing entities for your products ang ipost n’yo? I mean, if that’s the case, siguro, I’ll be happier to sell your products for you, regardless of their inconsiderable price.

I don’t know if it just me, and no, I’m not selling nor am I a member of any networking scam, I mean schemes, sorry can’t help it, but this are just five of my suggestions based on observations. Constructive criticisms, if you will. Don’t worry; I’m open to “Suggestions” too. Peace out!