Leaving is the hardest thing to do.

April 8, 2008

Dear Diary,

I never knew this day would come, never thought that this would happen; now I’m here counting the hours before I leave my beloved home town.

I spent the whole day hanging out with my friends, even though I know that it would only hurt me a lot. I know I can’t do anything now, I have to face that I’m leaving the town that grew up with me, the town that shared me its secrets, the town where I found a lot of true friends. I feel like I want to run away, but where would I go? So I will just stay, and find out what God has for me in Canada.

I woke up at 6 a.m., then looked at my cell phone, and found out that I had about 100 unread messages. It’s probably my friends that are saying their goodbyes and good lucks, I didn’t bother reading it, and I know that it would just make me sad for leaving the town of Lopez. Then , I noticed a text message from my friend Bianca, asking me to come to her house, I just said that I will come even though I didn’t wanted to spend this day with anyone, I wanted to be alone.

I went there and saw a number of my classmates hanging out, they we’re pretty gloomy because we all know that tomorrow is the end of the world for me (Just kidding!!!). We talked and reminisced our memories in the past school year and elementary days; to tell you the truth, I’ve been with the same people since 1st grade, and I can say that we have a very strong bond not only as classmates but also as friends. I have a lot of reasons not to leave; the problem is my parents won’t listen to me.

After a while my friend Allysa spoke, “The party should have been today”. She was referring to the surprise party that they had for me last week, even though I knew about it, (They’re not that good at keeping secrets) I just played along with them. That day was one of my most unforgettable days because they showed me that I’m really important to them, and I not being present for the next days, months or years will be hard for them to get used to.

I left and then went to my next destination, Mae’s house, the place where I first held a basketball. We played basketball for the last time, and as always, I lost to her. After that I promised her that when I come back, I will beat her for sure. Another text message came to my cell phone, now it’s from my best friend, Dannah. She asked me if we could meet up, and we did. She gave me a pin with a picture of me and her. “Don’t lose that, you can’t come back here without that pin!” she said with a grin and I just smiled.

While I was walking her home, both of us were quiet, I was waiting for her to break the silence. Finally she spoke, “I’ll miss you so much, so don’t forget me ok?” I didn’t say a word, I just smiled again and hugged her tight, I didn’t want to leave my friends, especially her. She was the first person to know that I was leaving, and she was the person that always said to me that everything will be alright there in Canada, but will it be alright? I still don’t know the answer to that.

Now I’m spending my last hours here at my room, I want to cry, but I don’t have anymore tears to shed, it seems like my mind was telling my heart to just face what will happen. I feel happy, sad, excited and lonely at the same time, mixed emotions as they say; happy because I’m going to live with my mom that I missed so much, sad because I’m going to leave everything that I have here, excited because I will ride an airplane for the first time, and lonely because I’m going to start with no friends at all.

Our flight is at 12 noon tomorrow, I better get enough sleep. A new path lies ahead for me and my family tomorrow; I know that even though I have mixed emotions right now, God will help me on my new beginning in Canada.

Bea Serdon

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