Is he the one? know the rules in finding Mr Nice Guy

nice guyEVER wonder where all these a**holes in your love life come from and why you keep on encountering them? Let me tell you the truth, but i warn you, you would be very much disappointed . You may not be aware but these bastards are often your type of guy.

The reason why you keep on bumping with the wrong guy is that first, you keep on attracting the same kind of men every time you go out.. How you dress and the places you visit often plays a vital role too, in your soul searching. OK, so don’t get me wrong here, there are times that man and woman are destined to meet in the most unexpected places. It could be while you’re impatiently waiting for your turn to be served in the grocery or while you are busy searching for your keys inside your bag. Anything can happen but searching literally for Mr right, say in a bar, is a different story.

If you keep wearing those panty jeans and plunging spaghetti tops while getting booze in your favorite pub- chances are you’d keep on attracting happy go lucky guys- the kind who dreads about responsibilities and wouldn’t give up his night life. He drinks, he smokes and if he hasn’t been laid for the longest time, he’d be looking for someone to bang tonight… and there you are showing off your skin, flaunting your drunk smile but still ready to mingle.

LWhat was on your mind? Were you expecting a decent man to take you away from that loud dance floor and save you like Mr Grey saving Anastasia Steel? Oh dear! Love isn’t as romantic as how you think it is (Like those koreanovelas you watch every night where that rich guy wearing a tuxedo would pull you out from a stranger who’s trying to harass you and then hit them with his fists.) Love isn’t always like fairy tales. Doing that in public would only signal that you are whoring yourself so don’t be surprised if they don’t give you that commitment you’ve been wanting from the very beginning. Men, once they see you as someone too liberated, they would look at you forever like that. There would be instances though they think you’re not, but then they would always go back to that impression once you do something they don’t like , so you’d live proving you’re not easy as how he thinks.

You want to find the right guy?

Behave the way you ought to be. Your behavior will attract the kind of men you want. If you want to be in a serious relationship you gotta make sure you’re not acting like a complete whore while waiting. You gotta remind yourself that you have to save the best of you for that one guy. Cliche huh? Well if you’ve already given out yourself to almost everyone then save that little respect for yourself.

You gotta stop flirting with just about everyone. By flirting i meant kissing and making out for nothing. You want someone who would respect you? Then respect yourself first, set it high enough that no one would dare to take advantage of you. Nanghihinayang ka because he’s good looking? Here’s what, he’s gonna dump you once he finds someone hotter than you anyway .

Wait for that someone who would exert effort (not the effort to text you ok? because that’s too convenient for him) Efforts like braving his fears of being embarrassed in front of your friends but would come anyway, efforts to make you smile by little surprises he knows would make you happy. See the efforts ladies, they matter. Don’t find reasons to excuse them just because you think he’s a catch. A man who truly likes you would exert every effort he could to keep you. At least follow the 5 date rule before kissing. Know the signs, a guy who has good intentions would definitely want to kiss you BUT would be very careful and sensitive to ask because he would fear losing you if he acted stupid. On the contrary if he only wants to bang you. he’s gonna convince you in any way to kiss til he gets his way into you.

You want to find that decent man? Go back to the basics. I guess the traditional ways of courting still measure up after all.•

About Pennylane

Columnist at Headline Gitnang Luzon | Radio Jock 95.1 FM/ Event Host | melodramatic fool |wannabewriter | toy collector