In 2009, I went to South Lake Tahoe, California to attend a conference hosted by Navy Recruiting District San Francisco. It was my first time driving to South Lake Tahoe, and the driving experience was so enchanting that it somewhat enlightened me. After the trip, I immediately wrote an article about the experience, and I want to share it with you. Here it is:

Although it’s often difficult and dangerous, the U.S. military service members, especially the U.S. Navy personnel, have one of the best jobs in the world with unique lifestyles. Why? It’s because they get to travel around the world. Except for combat zones and training areas, many countries, that U.S. Navy personnel visit, are mostly exotic locations. Nevertheless, some members travel less than other members do. It also depends on the type of work a member does. Some travel often, some travel less, some don’t travel at all.

My job in the U.S. Navy requires me to travel a lot. I have been to so many places around the world. From the Middle East to Europe, from Asia to Australia, and from South America to North America, I have visited at least two to five countries from each of these regions. I have visited more cities around the world than I visited cities in my own mother country, the Philippines. I have been into so many wondrous places where there were many things to do, but I have also been to places where there was nothing to do. In addition, I have also been to places where only U.S. Department of Defense personnel are allowed to see such as Diego Garcia (a horseshoe shape island in the middle of Indian Ocean).

In addition to the places that I have visited locally and internationally, I had the experience of driving a vehicle on different roads (highways and freeways) from different countries. Each road that I had experience driving on has its own unique descriptions, landmarks, and sceneries. In the United States, coastal highways, such as Pacific Coast Highway along Malibu with 27 miles of stunning coastal scenes and the Historic Freeway 101 at Pismo Beach where the color of the ocean is so blue that you would think the sky fell were always my favorites. I have always thought that Pacific Coast Highway and 101 Freeway have the best panoramic views until I went to South Lake Tahoe, California. Driving on the US Route 50 highway from Sacramento, California going to South Lake Tahoe, California has caught my attention to write about the experience.

During the autumn of 2009, I started my trip that will last for five hours of driving. This is not the first long trip I have experienced. I have driven from Washington State to California and back, which took me two to three days each way on the I-5 and 101. I have driven a cross country on the I-10 from California to Florida where I have seen different terrain features such as the different cactus fields in Arizona, desert fields in New Mexico, oil pump fields in Texas, rivers and lakes in Louisiana and Mississippi, and swamps and orange groves in Florida. I often drive to Las Vegas, Nevada on the I-15 and San Diego, California on the I-5 that the terrains on these routes have become common sceneries to my eyes. I have also driven on the I-40 to the Grand Canyon where I have observed many different panoramic views. I also appreciate the view of the vineyards at Monterey and Santa Barbara County of California while driving on 101. However, driving on the US-50 to South Lake Tahoe is different. The scenery on the US-50 from Sacramento to South Lake Tahoe has its own unique way of catching a driver’s attention. It clearly caught mine.

When I got to I-80 from San Francisco, California, the drive actually started boring since the scenery from San Francisco to Sacramento is just normal terrain features. The morning fog, which is a common weather in the San Francisco Bay Area, during the fall season, was already clearing, and the sun was trying to come out. The picturesque scenery didn’t actually start until I got to US-50. After a few miles from Placerville, California, I started to see many pine trees along the road. Then the road began to narrow and wind (zigzag) while on an uphill course. It continued going up for several miles until I hit the remote area of El Dorado County, California, which is rich in natural features such as pine trees, rivers, lakes, canyons, hills, and of course snow on the ground. After reaching the peak, the road shifted to a winding downhill course that will last for a while before reaching my destination. It’s like driving on the path of “Quezon National Forest Park” (EMI Road) from Quezon Province to Bicol Region, Philippines or driving on Kennon Road to Baguio City, Philippines but only longer, very much longer. However, the winding road at US-50 didn’t wear me out at all as it usually does when I’m driving in other winding roads.

Although pine trees are common in many states especially in the East Coast and Northern part of the country, I have never seen so many pine trees in California until I drove to US-50. I began to wonder if I were still in California. I thought I was lost. Perhaps it happens when you stayed in Southern California (Los Angeles and San Diego areas) for a long time like the way I did. If you never been to Northern California, your perception of the State of California would be the beautiful, sunny beaches of Malibu, the cinematic streets of Hollywood, the theme park at Disneyland, the beautiful mansions at Beverly Hills, the towering palm trees in Los Angeles, the vineyards of Napa Valley and Monterey County, and the Silicon Valley as the Information Technology (IT) Capital of the World. These features and landmarks are what California is known for. California has never been known for pine trees or snow except perhaps for people who actually live in those areas. I was astonished to find out that California is one of the states in the country that is full of natural resources such as pine trees.

From Placerville, California, I started to see lots of snow on the ground. Few more miles ahead, I see more and more snow all the way to the summit where everywhere I look I see pine trees and snow. The snow was a left over from the storm. During the storm, the road was closed to motorists. It was too dangerous to drive on this part of the state because the road was covered with snow, which turned into ice after the storm. When the road opened, the authorities were only allowing motorists whose vehicles have tire chains. Some of my co-workers even said that the climate around this area could change immediately without being forecasted or without some kind of indication at all. The clear and dry weather could change suddenly into a wet or snowy weather. The road is notorious to claiming many people’s lives from accidents while driving during the fall and winter seasons. But in spite of all that, the scenery along the road is breathtaking when weather permits.

I’m sure there are other places with sceneries like the US-50 at Tahoe or maybe even better. Perhaps next time I take my car on this way again maybe I wouldn’t feel the same like the first time. However, for some reason, this driving experience is quite unusual for me, perhaps because it was not planned. I didn’t even know that US-50 is the path from Sacramento to South Lake Tahoe. Maybe I’ll give credit to my GPS for guiding me to this route.

Although the road demanded me to focus on its pavement, I could not help myself not to look around and admire the delightful view around me. The combination of the color of snow, the color of pine trees, and the color of the autumn sun was theatrical. It was like watching the movie of Forest Gump when he was running on the road along the beautiful hills. I turn the radio off to reflect on myself. The magnificent scenery made me forgot about the economic problems of the world is facing today. All the time while I was driving, I feel free. I feel as I can breathe normally as compare to when I was driving on the congested freeways of Los Angeles where I usually feel suffocated.

However, aside from the freedom that I felt while watching the breathtaking sights around US-50, I also felt the uncertainty as the road itself could become truly dangerous even in an excellent weather. The slickly and narrow winding road is highly unpredictable that if you make one mistake, the consequences could be serious. It reminds me that freedom is not always free especially financial freedom. It reminds me that in order to achieve success, prosperity, or any other goals you have in life, there would always be challenges ahead. It reminds me that we must always be vigilant in our dealings with people, businesses and investments, relationships, and other things we do in life. And if you don’t slow down on the countless steep slopes, the sudden downturn could pull you in all the way down to the bottom of the ridge which reminds me that it’s easier to lose so much money (like many Americans did during the sub-prime mortgage meltdown) than to earn it if you don‘t value your money very well.

Lastly, something captivated my attention again as I started my downturn, a few miles before reaching South Lake Tahoe. What surprised me was during the downturn, the landscape changed so quickly. What amazed me was that the view just changed dramatically with no indication at all. The landscape swiftly changed from hills filled with tall pine trees to an amazing view of the blue lake. The color changed rapidly from green (trees) and white (snow) into blue water. After going through the final narrow, winding, treacherous, and twisted downward path, I finally arrived at my destination - the beautiful South Lake Tahoe, a paradise in the middle of nowhere.

After the trip, I had a reflection. My driving experience to South Lake Tahoe reminds me that in all hardships no matter how hard they are - they will pass. It’s how you deal with the hardship that makes a difference. It’s how you carry yourself in the midst of a suffering that counts. It’s how you overcome the adversity and how you improve your character while facing the adversity that matters. Never ever run away from your problems. Never use short cuts to solve your troubles. Always choose the best and honest method in resolving any crisis in your life. In all challenges, if you deal with them promptly and morally, there will be a vast reward at the end. It’s like South Lake Tahoe. You have to drive through treacherous winding roads, unnerving uphill course, and crooked downhill path before you can see the beautiful South Lake Tahoe – a paradise in the middle of nowhere.

This article is from Chapter VII of the book Discovering True Wealth (Extended Version)

Written by Erwin Bogs Rempola

http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-True-Wealth-Extended-Version/dp/1469993287/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_t_2

Have you heard of the new relationship status called FRIENDZONED?

Ito yung "more than friends but less than lovers". Yung tipong lagi kayong magkasama. Kayo ang laging magkatabi. Sa kainan, habang naglalakad, sa gym, sa pagjojogging, sa paglalaro ng wii, sa lahat ng bagay. Yung hindi mabubuo ang araw niyo nang hindi kayo nagkakasama. Pero magkaibigan lang kayo. Wala kayong commitment. Walang nanligaw at walang nagpaligaw. Walang nagsabi ng "I love you." Wala ring nagsabi ng "I love you too."

Being FRIENZONED means you are put in a zone where you can't go beyond friendship. Go beyond and you’ll lose everything. Talo ang mauunang magsabi ng "I love you." Hindi kasi pwede na mahulog ka. Yung hanggang magkaibigan lang kayo kasi kapag nag-level up pa ang relasyon niyo alam niyong hindi magwowork. Na kapag nag-next level kayo, masisira lang ang lahat ng pinagsamahan niyo. Kaya hanggang friends lang kayo.

In friendzoned, nakakasama mo parati ang taong nagpapasaya sa'yo at kumukumpleto ng araw mo. Tapos walang selosan. Kahit anong gawin mo, pwede mong gawin. Kasi nga wala kayong commitment. Hindi ka niya pag-aari kaya hindi ka niya pwedeng pakialaman. Mayroon ka ng wala sa mga “in a relationship” and that is FREEDOM. Ang hirap lang sa ganitong relasyon, ganon din siya sa'yo. Ibig sabihin, wala ka din karapatan magselos at makialam. At higit sa lahat, bawal kang mahulog nang tuluyan sa kanya.

Puno ng takot ang ganitong relasyon. Takot na mahulog ka at mahalin siya kasi kapag nangyari yun ay guguho ang lahat ng mga pinagdaanan niyo. Pero nasa sa'yo din naman yun. Malay mo, siya din pala ay naghihintay lang. Malay mo ayaw lang niyang siya ang unang matalo. Malay mo mahal ka din pala niya. Yun pala natatakot din lang siya. Sabi nga nila, Love is for those who have courage. Wag kang matakot dahil baka ito ang susi para mailabas ka sa “zone” na ito.

Photo credit: datingish.com

I'm scared. Amidst these incoherent thoughts and feelings, that is the only thing I know for sure.

I do not know where to begin. My head is spinning so fast, it's spinning out of control. To start with, you shouldn't even be here in my head--- let alone, in my heart. How can there be a breach in my wall when I have been vigilant to keep everyone out? It was as if you walked right through it, as though there was no barrier in the first place. The endless questions are driving me mad and this is all your fault! You found your way in me --- and that alone, is scary.

You know, you don't have to try to be nice.Your kindness, your smiles... I can't help but wonder what motivates you to give me those. You warm my insides, I wish I could tell you that it's a completely happy feeling, but no. I am worried. Worried for you. I do hope you know what you're getting yourself into. You know that I'm not into those flirty games and you won't count me in when it comes to that. The idea is hilarious too, if I may add. I am definitely the last person on earth who's "flirt-able" or whatever you call it. On the other hand, if you're serious about pursuing me, then I think you must be crazy. Of all the pretty girls around, you'd have to pick me. Scary.

It doesn't have to be me. I'm not worth to be your 'lucky girl'. The way you look at me like I have the power of the sun, it elates me. It makes me want to believe that I can be your sunshine. You glances send a shock right through --sparks. We have them. And your eyes, when I stare, they make me want to dive and drown in their beauty. Oh I should have been more careful. If I only knew that you would have this effect on me, I should not have laid eyes on you, so I would not know that you too, have had your eyes on me all along.

I find myself staring in space, wanting to be with you (too). Then half an hour later, taking back what I have just decided. I know that my actions and my indecisiveness are driving you up the wall; sometimes I entertain the possibility of having "you and me", then sometimes, I just yell at you saying that you are making a huge mistake. I half expected you to turn away and agree, but you didn't. And I don't think you'll ever do. Suppressed joy erupts from inside of me because after all these racket that I put you through, you still think I'm worth your everything. And, I'm scared, scared to death that the faith you put in me may not be worth it. I can never be the best for you even if I try to be, I have pointed that out endlessly. I want what's best for you, and this is how I love you, enough to know what you deserve. I am too substandard for you. I might break your heart with my flaws. I might hurt you because of who I was in my past, who I am now, and who I'll be in the future. But you won't hear any of it! You don't care about my self-inflicted insecurities. For you, I am the best. Why do you keep on trying to save me from myself? Long before you came, I have endured my struggles alone, learning how to shun everyone away, and now that you're here, I'm scared. Scared that you're interfering with my comfort zone, scared that you think I'm perfect for you.

But also scared that soon, you might stop interfering. Scared that you might confirm my worst fear, that I really am scum.

It's easier for you to drop this, you know. It's easier for you to let me go. I know that there really isn't much in me to rein you in. I could understand if you let go of what we have and just walk away (which is pretty much my point from the beginning...) But I know that I have fallen, and a part of me wishes that you stay with your arms wide open to catch me. You already have my heart, I never let it slip but you have my heart...and I keep running away from the idea that you will bestow your heart on me, an unworthy candidate. I love you so much, way too much that I feel like I'm going crazy in your embrace. Your touch ignites my world and I could go on for days with only that on my mind. In your arms, I could not understand why I feel like you're telling me that I am a vital part of you, and you could not live without someone like me. In your arms, I am engulfed by the intense desire of never letting go. I am enveloped with overwhelming calmness, peace and contentment with a dull protest of guilt.

I do not want to hurt you, but I could not deny the love I have for you. Because I love you too, I love you so much and I cannot--- I do not --have the heart to screw you just because of what I am, just because of myself.

I am scarred. I am scared. I am not whole. You deserve so much more.

Ano ang naaalala mo sa Dekada NoBenta?

Isa ka ba sa mga oldies ngayon na pilit na binabalik-balikan ang mga masasaya, malulungkot, at malufet na mga pangyayaring nagbigay-kulay sa buhay nating mga Pinoy? Ang sumusunod na listahan (in no particular order) ay ilan lang sa mga nagawan ko na ng entry sa aking blog na NOBENTA - REMINISCING THE 90'S. Maaari niyong i-click ang mga nasa tala upang mabasa ang mga kuwentong walang kuwenta.

Isa kang ganap na Batang Nineties kung:

1. nahilig ka sa World Wrestling Federation at napanod ang "Montreal Screw Job" sa pagitan nila Bret Hart at Shawn Michaels.

2. naadik ka at naubos ang oras mo sa paglalaro ng Brick Game.

3. kilala mo si Dino Ignacio na nagpasikat kay Bert ng Sesame Street in a very unique way.

4. naabutan mo ang "Lunch Date" at "SST" sa Siete kung kailan sikat na sikat si Randy Santiago.

5. nahilig ka sa mga kanta ni Andrew E. at pinilahan sa mga sinehan ang kanyang mga pelikula.

6. sinubaybayan mo ang mga turo ni Brod Pete sa Dating Doon na isang segment ng Bubble Gang.

7. nakita mo ang development ng sinaunang videoke hanggang sa maging hi-tech ito.

8. natatakot kang mamatay ang inaalagang tamagotchi.

9. nakapanood ka ng isa sa mga milyung-milyong massacre movies a.k.a. "pito-pito movies" ni Direk Carlo J. Caparas.

10. naniniwala kang nanganganak ang mga mababangong kisses at may taong-ahas sa Robinsons.

11. nakaboto ka sa SK Elections noong 1991.

12. nakita mo kung paano umusbong sa kahabaan ng EDSA ang Megamall, Galleria, at Shangri-La.

13. alam mo ang tsismis na kapag binaligtad ang kantang "Pare Ko" at "Banal na Aso, Santong Kabayo" ay may maririnig kang mga demonic messages.

14. alam mong nanalo ang presidenteng may malufet na carabao English.

15. isa ka sa mga nangarap na sana ay hindi kailanman ma-disband ang Eraserheads

16. napanood mo ang concert na "MTV Alternative Nation Tour" sa Araneta kung saan tumugtog ang Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, at Sonic Youth.

17. nagulat ka nang isang araw paggising mo ay ipinapalabas sa teevee na  tinitira ni Tito Sotto ang mga kantang "Alapaap", "Laklak", at "Elesi" dahil sa masamang mensahe daw nito sa mga kabataan.

18. araw-araw mong kasama sina Mario at Luigi sa Family Computer para sagipin ang princess.

19. may mga paborito kang kanta tulad ng "Cold Summer Nights".

20. mahilig ka sa mga alternative bands na sumikat sa Tate.

21. mayroon kang mga cassette tapes na produced ng Tone Def Records.

22. nangarap kang sana ay magkaroon ng reunion concert ang Eheads matapos silang ma-disband.

23. kilala mo ang trio nila Mark, Eric at Jomari.

24. isa ka sa mga engot na akala ay nakakalasing ang Cali.

25. napanood mo ang first episode entitled "Rubber Shoes" ng MMK starring Romnic Sarmienta

26. isa kang pakanton na mahilig kang kumain ng Lucky Me! Instant Pancit Canton.

27. kilala mo ang sikat na pamilya ng Springfield.

28. natutuwa ka kahit naiirita sa tuwing naririnig si Punk Zappa.

29. alam mong hindi shawerma ang tawag sa shawarma.

30. isa ka sa mga kabataang gustong matuto ng pagtugtog ng gitara para makapagbuo ng sariling banda.

31. isa ka sa mga nakipila labas ng ABS-CBN para sumali sa "Pera o Bayong".

32. inlababo ka kay Alicia Silverstone na bumida sa ilang music videos ng Aerosmith.

33. alam mong hindi original ng TGIS ang kantang "Dyslexic Heart" ni Paul Westerberg.

34. kilala mo kung sino ang nagpasikat ng kantang "Multong Bakla".

35. mahilig kang manood ng "Headbanger's Ball" ng sinaunang MTV sa Channel 23.

36. ginagaya mo ang grunge fashion ng Nirvana at iba pang Seattle bands.

37. inaabangan mo kung ano ang mga bagong laruang ipapakita sa "Uncle Bob's Lucky Seven Club".

38. na-exercise ang fantasizing abilities mo sa tulong ni Xerex.

39. bilib ka sa 4-peat ng "Growling Tigers" kahit na 'di ka taga-uste.

40. mayroon kang nakasukbit na beeper sa baywang mo.

41. naniniwala kang isang alamat ang kasaysayan ng Zagu.

42. alam mong "Kung walang knowledge, walang power".

43. bumili kayo ng matinding antenna para makasagap ng sinaunang UHF Channel.

44. alam mong tugtugin sa gitara ang "Plush (kahit intro lang)" ng Stone Temple Pilots.

45. alam mo ang love story nina Kevin Arnolds at Winnie Cooper.

46. habit mo ang pagba-Batibot.

47. isa ka sa mga batang nangarap na sana ay kasing-bibo at kasing-cute mo si Macaulay Culkin noong totoy pa siya.

48. alam mo ang silbi ng Blue Magic at Gift Gate kapag Pasko at balentaympers.

49. nakikisawsaw ka sa usapan sa kung sino talaga ang pumatay sa mga Vizconde.

50. kilala ang babaeng pumutol ng kaligayahan ng kanyang asawa.

51. nabubwisit ka sa tuwing makakakita ng event na may "palooza" sa hulihan.

52. alam mong rip-off ang kantang "Stay" ng Cueshet mula sa "The Greatest View" ng Silverchair.

53. nagluksa ka ng mawala sa ere ang NU107.

54. naka-attend ka ng "grand eyeball" ng mga crossliners.

55. aliw na aliw ka sa pagmumukha ni Rene Requiestas.

56. naramdaman mo ang pagyanig ng Luzon noong July 16, 1990.

57. kilala mo ang tropa nila Guile, Ken, at Ryu.

58. nakikanta ka sa "Bed of Roses" ni bunjubi.

59. elibs ka sa galing ni "The Magician" sa paglalaro ng bilyar.

60. nanlumo ka sa mga ipinakitang bangkay na nasunog na Ozone Disco.

61. namimili ka sa kung ano ang panonoorin, "TGIS" o "Gimik".

62. alam mo ang istorya ng "Take it, take it" sa MMFF Awards.

63. nalaman mong cool pala ang maging bobo nang makilala mo sina "Beavis and Butt-Head".

64. alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng mga acronyms na "TF" at "ST" na isang genre ng pelikula.

65. nasaksihan mo ang hidwaan sa pagitan ng mga metal at mga hip-hoppers.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING "ISA KANG BATANG NINETIES KUNG..."

JAYSON BUBAY QUITIQUIT is a 33-year old civil engineer currently working in Chaozhou, China. He is a frustrated blogger and former guitarist of an unknown band called Demo From Mars. He maintains several blogs namely NoBenta, Noong Ako ay Bata Pa..., The Wonder Twins, and Frontispiece 2.0.

They say asking for signs from God is an act of desperation. Hmm.. in a way, it's somehow true. I also asked God for signs and some of those, I received in no time. I was desperate that time. Siguro dala na rin ng pagiging malungkot ko noon kaya kahit ang paghingi ng sign ay nagawa ko na.

When he broke up with me, I thought it was the end but suddenly, naisip ko na humingi ng sign. That was October when I was crying because of the break up, napatingin ako sa calendar and nakaisip ako ng isang sign to ask from God. Pikit-mata kong sinabi, "October na pala and next month, November na and malapit na ang birthday ko. Kapag nagkataon na pareho ng araw (i.e. Monday,Tuesday etc.) ang birthdays naming dalawa, we are meant to be and kami ang magsasama sa huli." I asked it wholeheartedly from God kaya nung subukan kong tingnan ang kalendaryo sa month ng November, nakita ko na Monday ang birthday ko, and nang ilipat ko ulit sa December, nakita ko na Lunes din pumatak ang birthday nya. Nagulat ako nang sobra at lalo pa akong napaiyak sa nakita ko. Hindi ako agad nakapagsalita dahil hindi ko inaasahan na ganon kabilis tutugon ang Diyos. It was just about 2 minutes or less nung hilingin ko ang sign na iyon. I can't believe it. Pareho talaga ang birthdays namin. First time ko kasing humiling nang ganong sign and I never thought it would be that suprising and creepy as well. Kinilabutan kasi ako kasi akala ko, hindi totoo ang mga signs. So after that incident, parang nabuhayan ako nang loob. Mixed emotions. Ambivalent. Natawa pa ako kasi out of desperation and total innocence about it, hindi ko rin pinag-isipan nang maayos yung hiningi kong sign.

So after few days, nabuhay ako at pinili kong maging masaya kahit na minsan may moments parin ng kalungkutan. Hanggang sa dumating na nga ang birthday ko, nagkausap kami ulit after ng break up. He greeted me and I was not expecting it. Akala ko nung araw na iyon, natupad na talaga ang sign kasi nakikipagbalikan siya so dahil nga sa mahal ko parin sya ay pumayag ako pero lumipas ang ilang araw at naging masaya naman kami hanggang sa isang araw na lang bago ang birthday nya, he decided to end our relationship "again". Nag-usap kami nang masinsinan. Galing kasi siya sa pamamasyal kasama ang family nya. So ako naman, naghihintay lang na umuwi sya para makapag-chat kami over the net. So nang nakauwi na nga sila, I felt there's something wrong. Umiral na naman ang kutob ko. My instincts never failed me. Sinabi nya na nag-usap daw silang dalawa ng mom nya, and he asked his mom about "happiness". Sinabi daw ng mom nya na "hindi naman sa isang relasyon lang mararamdaman o makikita ang kaligayahan eh. Pwede namang sa family at friends din" kaya sabi nya sa akin, gusto nalang daw nya hanapin yung self-happiness and mag-focus sa family nya. Sa una, tinanggap ko ang explanation nya and I somehow agreed to what he said or his mom said. But napag-isip-isip ko sa sarili ko, "Nagsisinungaling na naman sya". Iyon ang unang pumasok sa isip ko after nyang sabihin iyon. Sure, umiyak na naman ako kasi akala ko, okay na eh. Iyon pala, hindi. Inulit-ulit ko pa sa kanya na sana maging masaya sya sa decision nya at sana nga, sa family at work lang ang focus nya. So ayun, again, iyak na naman ako after naming mag-usap. I greeted him the next day thru text and I called him at exactly 12:00am for his birthday. Nang makausap ko sya, nag-thank you sya and he said he loves me. He was half asleep na daw nung tumawag ako pero alam ko, hindi yun totoo. Sobrang kilala ko kasi siya kaya kahit pati boses nya, alam ko kapag inaantok na sya or gising pa talaga sya or kagigising lang nya. So naisip ko, he's lying again. I know, may kinausap sya or may kausap sya when I called. So lumipas ang mga araw until that day na nalaman ko na lang na lumipad na sya papunta sa place ng "the other woman". Parang kinurot ako sa puso, umiyak ng konti pero tinanggap ko na lang. Nalaman ko pa na nung huli naming pag-uusap, nagsinungaling talaga sya. His mom denied the conversation that he was talking about. Hindi naman daw sila nag-usap nang ganun sabi sa akin ni tita. Kaya confirmed na he's a liar. He even used his mom as an alibi. And that also confirmed my thoughts about him. I realized, I do not know him anymore.

SOoo.. going back to signs, humingi na naman ako ng sign, sabi ko, if naging pareho parin ang araw ng birthdays namin, we're really meant to be. So when I checked the calendar sa phone ko naman this time, nakita ko na yung mga susunod na years until 2030, unbelievably, pareho parin ang result like the first sign I asked last October. Yes. Parehong Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and now it's really creepier. Ang nasabi ko nalang, WTH? Sobra-sobrang sign yata ang binigay sa akin. Ewan ko nalang kung hindi pa ako maniwala. I know, hindi talaga ako hundred percent na naniwala sa unang sign pero this second time, I even questioned my self. Totoo ba talaga ito? WOW, as in WOW talaga! Thankful ako kay God for the signs. So it turned out to be my drive to be more happy everyday.

BUT...naisip ko rin, bakit kaya hindi ako humiling ng specific time na magsasama kami ulit? Natawa na lang ako sa sarili ko, bakit nga ba hindi ko naisip yun before? E di sana, humiling ako na kapag nangyari yung sign eh ibig sabihin magsasama kami ulit after a month, a year etc. Haha! Yan tuloy! Hindi ko alam kung kailan matutupad yung pagiging "meant to be" namin haha! Pero sinadya talaga siguro na ganon para may excitement, may thrill. Hehe!

Anyway, bahala na ang Diyos sa mangyayari sa amin. Ang magagawa ko na lang ay magdasal at ipaubaya ang lahat sa kanya. I need to stay focused sa work, sa family ko especially my parents and sa mga friends ko na hindi ako iniwan sa kabila ng mga problema at kabaliwan ko. :)

Ikaw? Naniniwala ka ba sa signs o sa paghingi ng signs? Nasubukan mo na bang humingi ng signs from God? Nangyari na ba ang sign na hiningi mo? Wala namang mawawala kung susubukan pero huwag lang mag-expect ng sobra. If it turned out to be a good one, make it one of your drives to be happy and to live your life to the fullest. Good luck! :)

Dubai, isang lugar sa Middle East na kung saan ay pinapangarap na marating ng mga Pinoy at Pinay. Ngunit hindi po lahat ng pumaparito ay sinuwerte sa buhay.

Hindi pa man ako nakatapos ng kontrata ko dito ay marami na akong nalalaman at nakikitang lumihis ng tinatahak ...na landas ng buhay. Hindi naman lingid sa ating kaalaman na maliit at kakarampot lang talaga ang sahod dito na kinikita. 400$ daw ang pinirmahang kontrata pag-alis pa lang sa Pinas at may day-off pa, pero huwag ka, pag dating dito maswerte ka na kung maka 900 dirham ka. Ito po ay sa mga kasambahay lang at hindi ko na isinali ang mga nurses at enhenyero diyan. At dahil sa disappointment na nararamdaman, marami sa kanila ang nangarap at naghangad ng buhay sa labas. Sa pag-aakalang makamit ang 400$ o 1500 dirham. Ni hindi nila naisip kung gaano naghihirap at nagtitiis ang mga nasa labas. Wala naman kasing nagsasabi na mahirap dito sa labas eh, kinaiinggitan pa nga sila dahil masaya, nakakapamasyal at may day-off pa. Nakakakita daw ng magandang tanawin sa Dubai, yun ang akala nila. Pero hindi nila alam nalilito na rin ang mga yan kung anong diskarte ang gagawin madagdagan lang ang sahod nila. E ako nga ni hindi ko pa kabisado ang Dubai, ako na yata ang pinakakuripot sa lahat ng nagtatrabaho sa labas, aba magkano din ang pamasahe sa taxi at pagkain mo pa? Kaya mas pinili ko na manatili na lang sa kwarto at matulog kesa mabawasan ang pera ko.

Tulad ko, sa opisina nga nagtatrabaho pero 1,200 dirham lang ang sahod tapos akin pa ang pagkain dito, mas maswerte pa nga ang mga kasambahay sa akin na libre pa ang pagkain at personal things nila. Eksaktong isang taon at kalahati bago tinaasan ang sahod ko dahil daw masipag ako pero 1,400 lang din ang natanggap ko. Sa isip-isip ko, "Okey na 'to kesa naman sa 1,200." Pero hindi ako sumusuko, nagtitiis pa rin kahit hindi magkasya sa pamilya ko.

Tuwing padala ko nga, lagi kong sinasabi, "Nanay iyan lang po ang padala ko ha bahala ka na po magbudget, tiis muna kayo pati na ang mga anak ko."

At ang reply pa sa akin ni Inay, "Ok lang kami anak, kahit palagi na lang talbos ng kamote at dahon ng malunggay ang ginugulay. Napurga na nga kami dahil araw-araw na lang malunggay pero ang importante okey ka at ingat ka palagi diyan."

Sasagutin ko naman, "Ay nay mas maganda nga yang malunggay, masustansya po iyan, doble pa ang bitaminang nakukuha diyan kesa sa ibang gulay tulad na lang ng carrots at spinach na nababasa ko sa Tagpuan, hehehe!"

Akala nila masaya ako, pero hindi nila alam, halos madurog na ang aking kalooban sa awang nararamdaman para sa aking mga anak at magulang, dagdag pa ang pinapaaral na kapatid diyan, sobrang tipid na nga sila tinitipid ko pa. Sabi nga ng kapatid ko,

"Ate ano pa ang titipirin ko e wala naman akong maititipid."

Di ba nakakasugat ng puso? Yung malaman mo na naghihirap pa rin ang pamilya mo kahit pa nasa abroad ka na? Pero hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa, dahil ang naranasan kong ito ang aking sandata upang mas lalong mangarap pa para sa pamilya pero sa malinis at tamang paraan. Sa ambisyong maranasan ang buhay na malaya, may kasambahay na tumatakas sa mga amo nila, pero hindi lahat ng mga ito'y sinuwerte sa labas, merong napapariwara at kapit sa patalim ika-nga nila. Wala na silang magagawa dahil nandiyan na yan eh kaya kalimitang katwiran eh "bahala na."

Maswerte ka kung may mga kamag-anak kang matutuluyan sa oras na tumakas ka. Merong ibang nasadlak sa prostitusyon at pikit matang tinanggap ang kapalaran. Hindi man nila masikmura, wala na rin naman silang magagawa pa, lalo pa't kabayan din ang nagbugaw sa kanila. Hindi naman nila magawang magreklamo sa kapulisan dahil sila'y takas lamang na takot ding mahuli at makulong na siya namang sinasamantala ng mga negosyanteng may hawak sa kanila.

May ibang sinuwerte na nakatagpo ng among mabait at doon sila namasukan, meron ding sa kapwa couple na Pinoy nanilbihan mairaos lang ang mga araw na walang matuluyan. Saan ka nga naman makakakita ng takas na nagkaroon ng magandang trabaho sa legal na proseso? Ang masakit diyan kapwa din natin kababayan ang gumagamit sa ating ka-inosentehan. Bakit nga ba hindi pa mahuli-huli ang mga lintik na iyan? At ni walang maglakas ng loob na sila'y isuplong sa kapulisan, katwiran nila'y "trabaho lang, walang personalan! Kailan pa ba magigising sa katotohan ang ilan pa nating kababayan, na hangad pa rin ang kalayaan kapalit naman ay pagkasira ng kinabukasan? Alam natin na hindi rin nila kagustuhan na sila'y mapariwara lamang pero wala na rin silang magagawa oras na sila'y isa ng takas. Ang masakit lahat ng ito ay lingid sa kaalaman ng ating mga pamilya na umaasa sa buwan-buwan nating padala. Sana sa lahat ng OFW na sa bahay nagtatrabaho, konting tiis lang po at tiyaga at matututo po tayong makisama sa mga amo, kesa naman mapariwara pa kayo. Ibayong dasal lang po at sakripisyo kesa naman sapitin pa ang nasapit na ng iba dito.

Kung hindi ka naman inaabuso sikaping matapos ang kontrata dahil ito ang daan para maka-apply tayo sa mas magandang bansa gamit ang dalawang taon kontrata. O kung sa palagay mong ikaw ay inabuso at hindi tinatratong tao, ay meron naman pong gobyerno o agency na tutulong sa inyo, huwag matakot na magsuplong sa agency kung ikaw ay minamaltrato, hindi naman lahat ng agency bubulyawan kayo e basta ba alam niyong nasa tama kayo. Laging makipag-ugnayan sa pamilya niyo o kahit pa sa katulong din ng mga kapatid ng amo nyo, para ng sa ganun ay alam ang mga nangyayari sa inyo, be WISE and be SMART.

Naniniwala akong walang sinuman na aabuso sa atin kapag alam natin kung paano manindigan at ipaglaban ang ating karapatan, dahil kalimitan iyan po ang wala sa ating mga kababayan dahil takot ang unang pinaiiral sa sarili. Mayroong ni-rape daw na dahil sa takot ay hindi na nakalaban. Pero sana naman matuto tayong lumaban at manindigan dahil takot din ang mga iyan kapag alam nilang hindi ka basta-basta mahihipuan man lang. Sana'y maging daan ito upang magising na rin kayo, at huwag hangarin ang bagay na hindi pa tamang oras na ukol para sayo. Minsan pumili din ng tamang kaibigan dahil hindi lahat ng iyan ay dadalhin ka sa kabutihan, ilan sa mga takas ay naglakas loob tumakas dahil na rin sa mga kaibigan na nangangakong hindi ka pababayaan, pero huwag ka, oras na mahuli ka sila pa mismo ang magde-deny sa'yo, kahit pa kababayan mo.

Tandaan na laging nasa huli ang pagsisisi. Hindi man ngayon ang iyong swerte, antayin lang na matapos ang kontrata pwede ka nang mag-apply uli sa mas magandang bansa kung saan may kalayaan ang bawat banyaga. At kapag makatapos ka ng dalawang taon na kontrata na puro pait at pagdurusa, masasabi mong dakila ka dahil lahat ng iyon ay iyong nakayanan at ngayon ay malaya ka na at mas matatag pa para sa panibagong pakikibaka. OFW ka, Bayani sabi nila, kaya hindi ka dapat tumulad pa sa mga baluktot na katuwiran ng iba, keso daw sa panahon ngayon eh praktikal na, hindi baleng masama sa tingin ng iba basta daw ba puno ang bulsa. Lagi po nating tatandaan na mas masarap hawakan ang perang iyong pinaghirapan na hindi galing sa kasamaan na sumira na sa ating katauhan. Kaya kung ang pagpunta mo dito ay para mamasukan huwag mo munang pangarapin ang buhay sa labas. Dahil pagsapit ng tamang panahon mararating nyo rin po iyon. Samahan lamang po ng ibayong dasal at pagsisikap.

Photo credit: dubai-shopping-guide.com

It only takes a minute to find a friend, an hour to have a close friend and a lifetime to meet a true friend. But can you tell me what kind of friend you have?

Don’t be deceived with what you see from a person for they may have a mask that hide who really they are. Be alert and conscious to what others are saying and doing, for they might have a purpose for being a good friend. They might stay for a while because God sent them for the sole purpose that we need them. They are present for we need their help. They tend to satisfy our current need whether physically, emotionally or even spiritually. But the truth is, they will leave us after their missions are done. They will do something or something will happen and it will hurt us. But we should remember, God have sent them only for a reason that He want us to be strong and firm when they are already gone and be prepared for another mile and another season.

There are moments in your life when you are really down. We should not give too much attention to the past but instead open another door for the present because it is the right time for these people to enter our lives. Close friends tend to be with us for a short period of time, usually for a season. They are like autumn leaves that can be found everywhere. They are there when we are sad, depressed and lonely. They will give you a bountiful amount of happiness you have never experienced. Most commonly, you share with them your past, grow with them, and learn from them. For this reason, you will feel that it is one of the best conversations that you have ever had. But every season ends, and there is a perfect time to close the door and open new one.

True friendship will always stay in our hearts. True friends are like diamonds, they are very rare. The friendship was built in a solid foundation. They teach us life timely lessons. They are always there in good times and in bad times. Distance and time won't break the relationship. No matter who you are and how much time have passed, still, they will remain.

We should never forget to thank them for they have helped us to become who we are now...

Photo credit: aribadler.wordpress.com

Sa panahon ngayon, ano ba talaga ang basehan na ika'y nasa style? Ano ang dapat at hindi isuot? Baket sa karamihan ng babae mapati lalaki ngayon ay wala ka ng maririnig na bukambibig nila kundi "Tumataba na ako" o kaya "Ay, kelangan ko bumili ng bagong damit kasi may party after work" o kaya naman pagkagaling sa beach party,"Ang itim ko na naman, ilang araw kaya bago bumalik kulay ko?" Mapapansin natin na ang mga kadalagahan ay napaka beauty concious at baket nga ba sila nag-aalala sa mga bagay na iyon?

Noon, balik tayo sa childhood natin. Hindi sagabal sa atin kung ano kakainin naten at magiging epekto nito sa katawan. Wala tayong pakialam kung tataba ba tayo o tutubuan tayo ng kung ano-ano (sa mga may allergy). At nung bata tayo, hindi natin binbigyang pansin kung ano isusuot natin paglabas ng bahay. Ano na ang nangyayari? Karamihan ngayon ay nagkakandarapang pumayat, kahit buto buto na wala pa rin nasa isip kundi ang pagpapapayat para sa summer. Baket? Kapag malamig ba dapat mataba? At yung iba halos naoospital na sa pag-iwas sa pagkain ng tama sa araw-araw. Sinusubukan pa ang 7 days nothing but water. Mga kapatid, pag ginawa nyo ba to, babaet kayo? Dadami ba pera nyo? Wala naman siguro masama kung pumayat dahil gusto mo maging healthy eh. Eh pano yung payat na nga pero tingin pa rin sa katawan ay elepante.

Ihalimbawa na lang natin ang facebook. Karamihan halos edited na ang mga pictures na pinopost. Baket? Dahil gusto maraming maglike at magcomment sa pictures nila. At higit sa lahat alam naman natin na ang magandang litrato ay nakakakuha ng atensyon. Baket atensyon? Syempre, pag nakita ng friend ng friend mo na nilike ang picture mo, iaadd ka nya hanggang sa isang araw, magkasintahan na kayo. Ganito na lang ba ang basehan? Nawawala na ang courtship sense at ang pagkakilanlan sa isa't-isa. Naattract siya sayo dahil sa picture na pinaganda mo. Hanggang dumating sa punto ngayon na ang mga babae ay nagpapakita na ng balat at halos pati kaluluwa ay natatanaw na ng karamihan. Litratong napakaiksi ang short at kitang kita na ang ma cleavage sa dibdib. Hindi ba nila naiisip na, Oo makakahanap ka ng mga suitors mo minsan stalkers pa, pero aminin naten na yung mga lalaki na yun mababa ang respeto sa'yo. Ikaw mismo ang naghahain sa sarili mo sa libo libong lalaki sa facebook.

May mga opinyon na magsasabi na tama lang naman na iexpress mo ang sarili mo, na tama lang na magmake-up ka at manamit ng maganda.  Wala namang masama na magdamit ka ng magara at maglagay ng kolorete sa mukha o palamuti sa damit. Pero minsan ang essence ng kasabihang "simplicity is beauty" ay nawawala. Parang sigarilyo lang yan, pag nasubukan mo na, gugustuhin mo pang humithit ng humihithit hanggang di mo napapansin, nagiging bisyo mo na pala. Pag ang isang babae nagbistida ng hanggang tuhod, pagkatapos ng isang linggo gugustuhin nya na magshort kasi tingin nya maganda. Hanggang maging super mini micro short na ang suot nya. Mga ate, kung alam nyo na medyo maiksi at super duper fit na ang damit nyo at magsisimba kayo, please lang gumising kayo sa katotohanan na nawawalan na ng respeto ang mga lalaki sa mga babae pag nakikita na kayo mismo ay nagbibigay na ng motibo. Tapos magtataka kayo na di kayo dumaan sa ligawan process. Hello! ate ibinigay mo na sa kanya kaya wala na syang dapat paghirapan pa.

Wala naman masama sa pagsabay sa uso o panahon, kung ito'y tama at wala namang mawawala sa'yo. Ngunit kung alam mo ng pati ang attitude mo ay naapektuhan sa pagtaas ng confidence mo, ate mag-isip isip tayo. Baka may mawala sa atin na dapat iyong iyo dahil Babae ka.

Photo credit: http://sabinaaubg.files.wordpress.com

Beauty is not in the eye of its beholder, but in the mind of its owner.

Define the word... BEAUTIFUL.

Ayon sa isang dictionary dito, it means having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight. Kung iisipin natin, oo, tama naman yung definition na ito kasi kadalasan, mga mata naman talaga ang pinapairal natin para madetermine kung maganda ang isang tao. But if you think about it, sapat na ba talaga ang nakikita natin para mahusgahan ang isang tao dahil sa panlabas niyang anyo?  Sapat na ba yung nakikita natin para masabing maganda siya?

Teka, teka... Ano nga ba ang kagandahan para sayo? 

Siguro, sasabihin mo, maganda ang isang tao kung maputi sya, kung sexy sya, kung matangkad siya o maganda ang ngiti niya. Siguro ito ang unang image na mabubuo sa isipan mo kapag narinig mo yung word na maganda. Pero bakit ganun? Hindi ba pwedeng... masasabing maganda sya kung maitim siya, kung mataba sya, kung medyo maliit siya o kung sungki-sungki ang ngipin niya? Kailangan ba talagang lagi kang mukhang artista para masabihan ka ng maganda?

Minsan kasi napapansin ko, marami akong kilalang sobrang gaganda ng itsura, pero kapag nakilala mo naman, hindi naman ganoon kaganda ang personality nila. Sila yung mga taong sobrang daming manliligaw, yung mga kilala ng buong bayan dahil sa "kagandahan" nila.. ( Though hindi ko naman nilalahat, karamihan lang naman eh ganito.) Meron naman akong mga kilalang hindi naman masyadong mukhang artistahin ang mga mukha, pero ang mga personality nila, super gaganda. Sila naman yung mga taong halos NBSB, yung mga tipong hindi ligawin, or yung mga nagka-BF nga pero pinagpalit naman  sa MAS "maganda" sakanila. Sino sa sakanila yung masasabi mong totoong maganda? Para sakin kasi, yung personality ng tao ang mas mahalaga kesa sa mukha nila. Kasi ang personality, it stays with us until our last breath... It never fades, though some might change, but all in all, it will define us as we continue our journey here on earth. Pero ang physical "beauty"? Mapanlinlang yan. It fades as we age,  lumilipas din yan... naglalaho.

May isa pa akong napapansin... Bakit ganun? May mga tao naman na magaganda nga, pero sa sobrang pag aalaga nila sa kagandahan nila, napabayaan na yata nilang alagaan ang utak nila. Yung mga taong ang sarap-sarap tingnan, pero kapag naman tinanong mo, wala namang sense yung sagot nila. Though I'm not saying na low IQ sila or what, it doesn't really measure human's intelligence naman eh. Ang akin lang, aanhin mo ang kagandahan mo, kung wala namang  kalaman-laman ang utak mo. I'm not saying na punuin mo ng scientific ideas ang brain mo, sapat na wisdom lang ang kailangan para gabayan ka sa pang araw-araw mong buhay... yun lang ang kailangan mo.

The point that I want to make is... Wala naman kasing exact na basehan para sa totoong kagandahan. Hindi lang mukha o katawan ang dapat nating tinitingnan. Mas mahalaga parin dapat yung ugali mo at yung karunungan mo bilang tao. Hindi naman dapat laging sense of sight ang ginagamit natin... dapat matuto din tayong ipikit ang mga mata natin para mas makakita tayo ng maayos. Bago natin pagandahin ang mukha at katawan natin... dapat matuto muna tayong magpaganda ng mga ugali natin... at magpalawak ng karunungan natin.

I'm not really judging anyone, I just want to share these thoughts that I have in mind. It doesn't really matter kung hindi tayo mukhang artistahin diba? What matters most is yung nakatago sa likod ng itsura nating ito... :)

Sa paniniwala ko kasi, lahat ng ginawa ni God ay maganda. Walang panget na tao. Nagiging panget lang ang mga ito dahil sa ugali nila o dahil sa paraan ng pag-iisip nila. Kaya pangalagaan sana natin yung kagandahang ibinigay satin ni God. We are all beautiful in our own ways. :)

Kaya next time na may makita kang "magandang nilalang" habang nakatambay ka diyan sa may kalsada, mag-isip ka munang mabuti before mo sabihing "Ay, ang ganda naman niya..." Dahil lagi mong tatandaan, there's more to life than meets the eye.

Two days from now we are going to start nine days of prayer before her death anniversary. In this house where all that’s left are my grandmother, my nephew and his mom, and a whole lot of my own mother’s mementos, I try my very best to manage.

The past week had been particularly hard- my 83 year-old grandmother noticed a lump on her right breast, and after a particularly anxious fine needle aspiration biopsy, it was revealed she had tumor cells. Deciding to go ahead with the operation was a whole new ordeal altogether. She told me she once had a friend her age who underwent an operation, and later died. She never really stated the obvious; it was clear from the look on her eyes she was afraid of what her own fate would be.

Hours before the procedure, I was dressed in my scrubs. My cousin agreed to have me present until her induction, but the lab results and her blood pressure readings were too high that the anesthesiologist did not give clearance. Finally, we decided to postpone the procedure until her vital signs stabilize.

On the same day of her discharge my nephew was rushed to the hospital for fever and vomiting. Now the little Tyke is ok, but now our trusty household help became ill. For most of the afternoon I monitored her temperature, giving medication every four hours, and taught her how to do tepid sponge bath to lower her temperature. For now, I’m the one to serve her food, prepare dinner with Nanay, gather my uniform for tomorrow, and do the dishes.

I’ve never imagined myself to be so domestic, and I’ve never seen myself quite content with what I did.

When my Mom passed away, it was not only a huge emotional loss, but our finances changed drastically as well. My father’s salary was only but a fraction of what my Mom earned as a nurse in the US, and what he sent seemed wanting to cover the bills and living expenses. As the months passed, bills kept piling. Once, the electric bill soared because of indiscriminate use of airconditioners. I tried to control the escalating living expenses, but it was hard to put your foot down when people refuse to cooperate.

Then one day things just went from bad to worse: I got into another big fight with my father again. He wanted me to work in Saudi after Nursing school, while I maintained my desire to continue to Med School. With his financial support gone, this household balanced precariously, and was unexpectedly rescued by my younger brother who once wanted to abandon his plans of going back to the US so he could stay here in Tacloban with his son.

With this support, and the support of my partner, this household gets to live another day. We’re slowly atoning for our financial mistakes by making small sacrifices now- no more aircon use, turning the ref off at night if there’s not much food stored, minimizing the use of the water pump…

Suddenly, I know the weight on my shoulder is the price I have to pay for the choices I’ve made. I can be taught the definitions of fortitude, sacrifice, and caring, but I find nothing more effective learning than the circumstances I am in at present.

I will forever miss a mother's touch; how my Mom always seemed to handle even the most delicate situation equitably and justly. How she chided me and my brothers when we did something wrong, yet I knew deep inside she secretly rooted for us all the way- encouraging us to stand back up when we trip and fall. She was always untiring, and never conditional loving us.

Oh Ma, it’s hard growing through this crisis, but I think you would have been proud of how we turned out. Your sons miss you. We all do, actually. And if the role that I play now, which involves running the household you once ran, turn out to be too difficult- I’ll just remember to take it a day at a time. These are, after all, very big shoes to fill.

Photo credit: daddu.net