I was watching the proceedings of Chief Justice Corona’s impeachment trial, and my fiancé came up behind me and said, “That lawyer is my [fraternity] brod.” I was bemused, unsure if he felt proud seeing his brod on television, taking part on this historical event in the country or if he was just making a statement. I shrugged and just replied, “Almost everyone on this trial is your brod.” He smiled.
Eight years of being with my fiancé have made me aware and most of the time, oblivious, to the culture of their fraternity. We met each other through one of his fraternity brothers, our first date was with some of the brods, and I met his fraternity batch mates before I even met his parents.
I had no intention or plans of hooking up with a frat man. I would normally shy away from my classmates who would invite me to fraternity or sorority soirees, and decline invitations to join sororities for the fear of being associated to these “violent” organizations. Before going to the university, my parents have often reminded me not to join sororities and avoid fraternity rumbles. When I found out that my fiancé was actually a frat man (my intel came from another frat man from a rival fraternity that time), I was reluctant to pursue the relationship for the fear of being one of his “trophies.”
I’ve had my share of fraternity rumbles inside the university. Although most of the time I was kept in the dark as to why such things happen, it became a way for me to understand my fiancé as the strategist and as a member of a team. I remember being avoided by some friends coming from other fraternities thinking I was fishing for information.
It took a while before I finally realized that behind the fraternity rumbles always highlighted in the university news, the infidelity issues among girlfriends and sorority sisters, the politics within the fraternity, was a culture of friendship and dignity. For the many times that my fiancé would bring me to their fraternity events, their parties and sometimes, even their professional meetings, I have come to respect their way of life and how they have affected my fiancé’s disposition in life.
I remember getting help from his fraternity brothers for my master’s thesis, for receiving funny comments and advices in my Facebook account, for sharing with my fiancé and me our excitement on our engagement. It took me some time to realize that I was not only enthralled with my fiancé for the man that he is, but also for the person that he has become because of his fraternity.
One of the best things that I have come to love with my frat man is that his fraternity taught him to put value on their religion, their families and their brotherhood. I do not proclaim the processes of how one becomes part of the brotherhood, but I appreciate now more than ever how their fraternity allows them to become their own person and to respect their differences, more especially when it comes to political views and sentiments, and remain fraternity brothers after a day of grueling debacles in the courtroom or in other endeavors.
Would I still love my fiancé even if he were not part of the fraternity? I sure would. But I think that it was destiny, which brought me to him, and his fraternity that brought us closer.#
Photo credit: aspieweb.net