Deceived and Betrayed by a Spineless Coward (P8)

Deceived and Betrayed by a Spineless Coward

I wish I was born with strong conviction. I wish I refused him. I wish I said my final goodbye.

But then I was just human…I got too emotionally involved already…

I gave in.

All his imperfections were thrown out the window…

We promised that there’s no turning back. No second thoughts. 100% commitment.

We carried on with our affair in secret from his family. Suddenly I remembered what the voice inside me was telling me 25 years ago the first time our eyes met…”you’ll be his mistress…”

No affair is ever right, no matter what the circumstance is. We’re both bothered by our conscience. Just like what we did in the past, we put Mama Mary in between us. We asked for Her forgiveness. We composed a prayer that we would pray every night together or at the same time when we’re apart:

Mama Mary, please forgive me and Tommy/Guy. We hope that one day You give us Your blessing to be husband and wife to each other. While we wait for that moment to come, please keep us committed to our children. I love Tommy/Guy so much. Please keep him/her under Your Maternal Protection.

We’d always hear mass when we’re together and he’d leave his phone on when he’d hear mass alone so I could be with him as well. I’d go to church everyday.

I’ve never felt so loved. Eventhough he’s still with his family, we were exclusive. Trudy has no place in his heart anymore. He’s just staying with his family because of his kids. Our common friends tell me about her postings in FB.  They reflect what’s really going on between them.

Distance didn’t keep us apart. Every month I’d fly to see him. When we’re apart, we ‘d exchange thousands of texts and hours of phone calls, and see each other on Skype. He’d leave me countless voice mails. We’re each other’s world. We occupied each other’s thoughts literally every second of the day filled with how our day was going, what we’re wearing, reminders of sweet nothings, our acronyms that only us could understand, wake up calls and texts, and good nights with pleasant dreams. And just like the old times, he’d sing to me wherever we were and when we’re on the phone or leave his songs on voice mails.

This was our lifeline. It shamed even the best romantics in the world. We had no purpose in life but to love each other, miss each other, want each other, need each other, our past, our future, walang iwanan, we’ll stand the test of time, we’ll hold on.

Deceived and Betrayed by a Spineless Coward
Deceived and Betrayed by a Spineless Coward
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