Well since college I really wanted to blog or write something to express my feelings and desires because I’m not a talker type. I’m more of a listener, dude. Maybe I just haven’t had the time or enough desire to write till now :). So well I had my account for quite some time now and maybe it’s time that I start using it (though I only created it to follow my crush!h ehe a fierce but God-fearing wonderful artist! hehe).
Something happened to me last Sunday. I was blessed, but felt weird at first, but then, later, I learned it was something so much bigger!
I was in Singapore then; on that day I attended a service of Every Nation with my brother seated beside a couple. Worship and preaching and I’m quite shy in participating.
The talk started with using our gifts, the gift of wisdom, gift of encouragement, gift of teaching and so on. We all have our gifts the Lord gave and yes, we should utilize it because it was given to us! But I don’t quite figure it out yet what my core gift is…kaya hindi ako masyado interesado eh, but then the leader said… “Who wants to be healed!?” Boom! Without reluctance I raised my hand! Gusto kong gumaling, oo, pero wala akong sakit o kahit na ano. I know I want to be healed from within, from inside me…
With eyes closed, unknowingly, hands started to pour on me, blessing me all over my body, brother’s and sister’s that I know not of. I felt goosebumps, a lot of it! body shaking and hair raising, they just knew I needed it!! It was a blessing! As the service ended, a young woman beside me with her husband said “hindi kita kilala, pero may bumulong sa ‘kin, puwede ba kitang ipag-pray?”
We sat down and she told me “It’s weird kung bakit, pero ramdam ko, you want to be healed”.
It was a long prayer actually, but these words struck me deeply ..
”You’re a good person and you want to serve God, you want to be healed, but something is holding you back. Believe in Him. You have to cut the rope that holds your healing cause when you do, you can move mountains!
”Wow!!!. It was a great feeling!! I was having this great feeling all through the night, but it makde me think still…what’s the healing for? What am I healing for? It sounds funny, but I don’t really know what I needhealing for? I think, maybe, it’s for my future.
As a whole person .. I don’t know, I just don’t know, I want to know what for….. so then the night after that Sunday came… a tough situation, a painful night (it could actually have been avoided ’cause I just brought it upon myself).
It’s about my ex, even if it was a long time ago, yes, I wanted her back. It was just a hard painful night to bear. What have I done to bring it upon myself. Maybe I had to do this all along, maybe it was inevitable. It was just as hard as before, I’ve been holding to her all along. I could not think that night and the morning after that. Sleepless for hours..
I didn’t know what to do, I wanted a drink as hard there is, bothered, thinking, pretty much like before… and well, I was about to go home that morning, too, pauwi sa Pinas, puyat, pagod, kaya ko ba to?
Ang nangyari? After hours of thinking and praying countless times…nothing cleared my mind…I was about to leave then what did I do? Well, I just asked God. “What should I do?” and wow!! goosebumps and a whisper came saying “you know what to do, I already told you”.
Wow! Booom!!! It led to me what happened that Sunday. That was what the prayer was for, that was the healing meant.. I’ve been holding to her long enough, that’s where I should be healing He says. I’ve been holding to that rope and I can’t remember since when. That’s what the couple prayed me for.
“You want to be healed? You cut the rope.”
It rolled again to my heart. Wow.. That’s it… Never thought this was it that I really needed to heal from. Thank God. It just keep on echoing on me.. Thank God! I’ll cut it to be healed cause when I do that’s when I can start to move mountains! I want to move mountains, men!!. 🙂 It was more than a blessing It’s a miracle to me.!. God, You really have an answer to all and in a variety of ways to reach the person for. You really are amazing. You’re a guidance. I cannot thank you much, but I’ll follow you in ways You want me to! I will live for You, I shall die for You. Thank you!
It’s late, but I figured.. Living with you is the most amazing thing of all. Thank you =) :-).
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”