Ang Aking Unang Karanasan. Masakit pala :(

I was 3rd year College then when I had my first boyfriend si Kin. We were jeepmates during High school days, and sobrang suplado niya nun. Nagkakilala na lang kami nung College na. Classmates kasi kami in almost all minor subjects. I was attracted to him and believe it or not, I was the one who courted him and it took four (4) precious months before I heard his breathtaking YES.

I was happy that time, but I don’t know if he feels the same way too.

During first few weeks of our ‘Relationship’, I felt that I was the one who initiated the most. I felt that He just went with it. I tried to understand him then, and all the MAYBE statements like “maybe he’s busy”,”maybe he’s focusing to his studies” and “maybe he’s experimenting” came to my mind. But I do disregard it all. I invited him to dinner, stroll, snacks and all the couple things did, but all I heard are alibi’s. I am trying for our relationship to work out, but then again, I understand him. Bwisit! Nakakapikon na minsan.

After three (3) months, to my surprise He texted me one night, in which he rarely did. Kaya medyo nanibago ako.

Him: Hey babe! I’m afraid that I’ll be leaving you :). hehehe.

Me: Huh? Why?

Him: Hehehe! I’m just joking. 🙂

That time, I felt really something is wrong with Him.

Him: What will you feel when I leave you? 🙂

Studies muna ang priority ko at hindi girlfriend.

Me: Hmmm…ok lang.

Him: Ngee! Bakit ok lang? 🙂

Me: Ano dapat na answer ko, babe? hehehe..

Him: Never mind 🙂

He is always fond of using smiley 🙂 icon at the end of every texts.

Me: Do you have anything to say babe? The truth please :(.

Him: I’m sorry if I don’t have time for you ha. I’m sorry if I can’t even text you, xempre estudyante lang ako, kaya  medyo budgeted. I’m sorry if hindi kita ma-treat kahit sa school canteen lang. 🙂

Me: Drama natin ngayon, babe ha! hehehe:)

During that time I was trying na maging komportable ang usapan.

Me: Sus! I am not asking anything naman, babe, di ba? and you knew that.  As in wala.

Him: Kaya nga I am really thankful that you understand. :)

Yes, I guessed it! There is really wrong that time. He’s never been dramatic. or I just knew so little about him?

Me: Alam mo and alam ko na may gusto ka talagang sabihin eh. Ano nga yun? Hindi ka kaya ganyan, sa pagkakakilala ko sa ‘yo. 🙁

Him: Babe!  Iiwan na kita :(.

Me: Bakit? May nagawa ba akong mali? 🙂

Him: Babe, I’m serious. Iiwan na talaga kita. :(.

 Boom! That’s it!

Me: Ok. Since from the start I knew that you just went with my flow lang naman.

Him: I’m sorry. Wala lang talaga akong time para sa ‘yo, and studies muna

  Ouch! Sakit nun ha! I said to  myself. Quietly, I began sobbing.

Me: Yes, I do understand that. So Good luck. I don’t want to degrade myself more.

Him: Yun lang? 🙁

Me: What do you want me to say? Na Please Don’t!  Ayaw ko, Kin, na ipagpilitan ko ang sarili sa taong ayaw ko sa akin. Tama na yung nagmukha na akong tanga nung niligawan kita!

A minute took so long. And I was really crying. Silently. I didn’t want my mother to hear my sobs.

Him: I knew you deserve someone better. Someone who is worthy of your love, and can love you in return.

Me: Enough of this, Kin! Good luck to you. 🙂

I managed to put a smile at the end.

Him: :). Good luck too. Sorry again, Dre. :'(.

That was my fateful Love story…as of now.

 Two years flew so fast and we are both graduates now. He is preparing for his Board Exam and I really wish him luck. And every time I hear the song Somewhere Down the Road.

“Maybe we’ve only just begun, maybe the best is yet  to come”

  I came to realize that Kin might be correct. Maybe we aren’t really for one another, maybe there is someone better for both of us, and maybe we are not good to be lovers, only friends. And if there is one thing I learned with Kin when we’re together is..Take care is  Better than I Love You.

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