She’s straight forward, positive and very confident girl. Those were Noemi’s most attractive qualities.
I got the sense she’s not bothered at all. This girl always makes me smile. I sat down and told Noemi that I look at her letter last night.
Noemi said that she didn’t know if I will accept her proposal and she’s not looking for anything serious.
She held my hand and thanked me for taking the time to read the letter. Noemi thanked me for being kind to her and understanding.
She told me that she wanted to take me out after the final exams. I listened to her and I didn’t interrupt her. I was very quiet.
Overall, she said that she have had sense of peace after she got that off her chest and I felt it bonded us more. However, I thanked Noemi for her honesty.
I cannot thank her enough for making me feel special. I cannot even blame her. It’s her emotion that pushed her and she’s the only one who knows how she feels.
I wasn’t expecting to have any serious relationship with her. My concern was that I have to put the most important tasks first. I need to focus my attention on my final exams and get more work done. I didn’t need to pay attention to my emotion and how it influenced me.
After the exams, I need a little time to think things over, before I say a word. Then the final exam’s day came, I was positive all day long. I tried to feel only good things and the result was very positive because I had passed all of them.
I saw Noemi standing there, I could tell that she’s so happy and thankful, because she also passed the final exam. She’s so happy that she couldn’t move the smile from her face. Naturally, I congratulated her for passing the exam.
She was ecstatic and hugged me, congratulating me as well. I’ve still kept my promise to her that I would go out with her after the final exams. I was flattered when she asked me out.
She said that she’s not shy to ask me out, and there’s nothing to worry about because plenty of girls do it. However, I really thought I was becoming more interested in her. When we were on our way, she tried to hold my hand.
While we were walking and she reached out to me, linked our arms, and grabbed my hand. Well, I felt panicked. I could feel my palms sweating and suddenly the focus of my attention was only our linked hands.
The idea seemed highly uncomfortable to me. I was worried that some of Rebecca’s friends would see us. Luckily for me, she quickly let go of my hand, as if nothing had ever happened at all.
After she let go of my hand, I cannot concentrate well on anything because all I did was to think about Rebecca. Whenever I think of her, I got this feeling in my stomach that makes me feel sick.
The guilt I felt was literally eating me away at my insides. All I can do was think about how stupid I was for doing something that could ruin the good relationship I’ve had with Rebecca.
So Noemi and I went to this pretty tiny classy restaurant close to school, air conditioned restaurant and indoor sitting was limited with 3 – 4 tables. Noemi said that every time when she felt hungry, she loves to eat and hangout at this restaurant.
They had music inside and had their pizza and spaghetti. It’s a great place to stop for snack. Noemi said she really liked the place. It seems that the owner knows her well.
She asks me what I want to eat. She took care of the rest of our order after I tell her what I want to eat. While we’re waiting for our order, Noemi starts talking. I must admit, I felt a little uneasy, I think due to the fact I went out with her without any idea on what to say, about making a move.
Anyway, I was able to talk to her like a normal being. I did not care whether I mess up or say the wrong thing. I think she saw and felt that I was treating her with respect and honesty.
Noemi did say herself that I was different to the usual guys that she chatted up. Our order finally arrived. During the time that we’re eating, Noemi was talking throughout the time that we’re eating.
I felt that I really need to find the courage to speak front of how I feel about her letter. She wants me to tell my feelings with her and it’s the appropriate time to express my thoughts and feelings.
I really want to tell Noemi what’s in my feelings. After we had eaten I finally got the opportunity to open up with Noemi. I told Noemi that I cherish the time I spent with her whole summer and being close to her as a close friend.
I respect that she sees me more than just a friend so this was I told her. I told her that Rebecca was special to me, and I really did not want to ruin my relationship with her if she knows.
I apologized to Noemi if I did send her the wrong message that just because we flirt a little bit that I wanted a relationship with her. Well, I told her that my feeling changed sometimes, but not enough to want to have a relationship with her.
I told her that I thought that our friendship was mutual. That I did not want to lose this friendship and I was sorry for sending here the wrong message.
At first, I did not know how to handle the situation. I did not know how she will react and I did not want to break her heart. I felt that I was being unfair by flirting with her and did not want to give her this false hope.
Although, we have become closer my feelings was still that I would rather be friends than in a relationship. I have always been respectful to her as I want to keep our friendship.
I want let her know that my intentions clear. She’s a great friend that we should refrain from starting a relationship. Noemi holds my hand tightly. She’s sorry that her feelings for me have grown into more than just friendship.
She thanks me for being so honest with her. She wanted me to know that our friendship means a lot to her that she valued our friendship a great deal.
She said that no matter what happens she wants our friendship to continue if it’s OK with me. Then I smiled at her. I felt that she’ll most likely distance herself to me after serious talk with her.
Noemi simply says “Want to go out sometime? She leaves her phone number and we heads out the door.
“To Be Continued”
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- A Girl Named Rebecca (Part 17 – Based on a True Love Story!) - December 28, 2014
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