A Canopy of Stars: For The Chasms Between

chasms

It takes two adults to make a relationship work. Both have to work hard for it. And it’s never easy. The hardest part of the relationship is when you are at the beginning and you start to get to know each other better. Sometimes several days of being together is already enough to get you disillusioned. Some would say, “If it’s not madness then it’s not love”, but this certainly does not imply that the relationship is going to work. It may be just a case of “temporary high”, which is the effect of getting into a fresh relationship. Because, later on when reality hits you back you will realize a number of things that you dislike about your partner and unless you are ready and able to accept your partners’ imperfections, you will become mad for the power he had over you to make you feel stupid, weak, and unworthy. Until you take a step back and realize that, it was you, who gave him that power. And you will end up broken yet again.

Here is my advice.

It is critical to maintain willingness to compromise and to be committed in helping each other to understand the other person better in order to transcend your individual differences and flaws. An open, honest communication must take place in order to establish harmony between the two of you and to allow for the merging of your individual personalities into one persona. If you are able to accomplish this goal, your individual differences will end up complimenting one another, instead of clashing. The spaces between the two of you will work as a bridge, instead of causing a gap.

Honest questions must be asked and honest answers must be given. You must expose one another to each other’s fears and frustrations, values and principles, and triumphs and shame.

However, if you are the only one asking your partner questions in the relationship, you are probably the only one still interested in having one. You can’t continue to fight for something, when what you’re fighting for, isn’t fighting for you back!

Sure, men want to be pampered. To be taken cared of as their mothers used to care for them. They want their meals ready and their clothes washed, ironed, and prepped before and after they go to work and a warm body in their bed. But men should not forget how to take care of their women as well. Appreciate them. Respect them. And mind you, if you think that these are difficult tasks.

Appreciate them — it doesn’t hurt to thank her for prepping your daily necessities. Flowers, chocolates, and jewelleries are just plain material stuff. A simple kiss on the cheeks and a thank you will certainly do the job better.

Respect them — it certainly won’t hurt you either if you help her carry the bags of grocery will it? Will neither holding the door for her nor taking her hand when she steps off the staircase or car. 🙂

A lack of appreciation and respect can be a sad end to many a wonderful relationship and if you have to keep wondering where you stand with someone, perhaps it’s time to stop standing and start walking.

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