I’m Sorry. I’m Still Hoping. I Love You. :( 2: It’s over!
I never believed that after all the days, weeks and months that passed by, I’ll still be feeling something really different. I was in class when I received a bb message.
AUGUST 15, 2012
Camille: Ateng! Have you heared the news? Baby mo, may dengue!
Me: What?! Who?!
Camille: Lester. Nakita ko sa newsfeeds ‘ko. Nag-update siya.
Me: can’t see it. I blocked him. Can I borrow your account, gonna check it lang.
Camille gave me her account, I saw Lester’s update. Positive. Dengue. I was worried. I don’t know how will I approach him, it has been a month that we weren’t talking. I was having second thoughts if I’ll text him or what. I decided. I texted him, and this is how our conversation went.
Me: Les, kamusta? Nasa hospital ka na ba? May dengue ka raw?
Les: Who’s this?
I didn’t reply. I was at school at that moment. When I reached home, I texted him again.
Me: Hi, Ivana here. How’re you? Balita ko, may sakit ka daw? Kamusta? Nawala galit ko sa yo nung narinig ko yung balita. Hahaha. Anyway, I just hope you’re doing good. Get well soon, taba!
Les: Owh? It’s you. Thanks for your concern, sobrang naappreciate ‘ko, I wasn’t expecting this. I’m good. Tryin’ but I’m really in pain, sawa na ‘ko sa karayom. Every minute, they’re getting blood from me.
Me: Okay lang yan, kaya mo yan. Anong hospital at room ka pala? Aalis ka na, so magpagaling ka na.
Les: VRP. Room 516B. How’d you know that my flight is on the 25th?
Me: Secret! Haha. O siya! Thanks! Goodnight. Go to bed and take a rest.
Les: Whyy? Gonna visit me?
Me: Why? Wanna see me? Hahaha! Lol. Dami mong alam.
Les: Don’t ever surprise visit me, okay? I’m shy. Really.
Me: Dunno. Shy? Whyy?
Les: I’m not worth your time. Remember what I did? It sucks knowing that after all you’re still there for me. Thanks for that.
Me: Ganun talaga buhay. O siya! I have to sleep. It’s getting late. Early classes tom. Can’t stay up late.
Les: Okay! Goodnight, beautiful.
*AUGUST 16, 2012.
Me: Goodmorning! How are you feeling?
Les: I’m good. You? Are you gonna visit me?
Me: I dunno, if you see me then I’m visiting you. Lol. Ge na. Can’t text you everytime, nakaplan ako. So lalaki yung bill ‘ko. Hahah! See you when I see you. Ingat.
Les: Mag-prepaid ka muna. Just for a day, can’t do anything for me to be able to talk to you. Can’t go out and buy a new sim.
I didn’t reply. After my class, I decided to visit him. I was with a friend, Dewdew. Dewdew is one of my closest friend ever since. I bought Lester a basket of apples. On our way to the hospital, I felt nervous at the same time worried. I dunno why but there’s a part of me saying that I need to go and see him.
*At the hosp.
Dewdew: Be, ano feeling mo?
Me: Kinakabahan ak, gagi. Tara, cr muna tayo. Ayy! Per room ang cr dito. Haha! Bahala na, tara. Ayan na eh. (Pointing out to Lester’s room)
As we walked towards the room, a woman approached us. She’s beautiful with curly long blond hair.
Me: Good afternoon po, si Lester po?
Woman: Ivana, right?
Woman: (smiled at me) Oh, I see. Let’s go. Come in.
As the woman opened the door, Lester smiled. It was his mom. To his surprise seeing me with his mom, he covered his face with a blanket. I went to the table besides his bed and put the basket on the table.
Les: Mom, Ivana. You know her, right?
Lester’s mom: Yeah! She’s the one you’re talking ’bout last night.
Me: Hello po, tita, ayy. Si Dewdew nga po pala. Friend ‘ko. Dew, si lester.
Lester’s mom: So where have you been?
Me: School po.
Lester’s mom went out to talk to the doctor.
Lester: Wala akong masabi. Haha. Kamusta?
Me: Ako pa kinumusta mo, ikaw ang may sakit. Haha. Pagaling ka na!
After one hour, nagpaalam na kami.
Me: Tita, we need to go. Thank you po.
Lester’s mom: Thank you din. Ingat kayo.
Lester: Bye. Take care.
Me: K. Get well.
Lester: Text me.
*We went out of his room. I received a text message.
Lester: Hey! Talagang pinanindigan mong babye lang ha? Walang I love you? Hahaha.
Me: joke time ka na naman, boy! Tigilan mo ‘ko. Dami mong alam, pagaling ka na lang! Hahaha.
Les: Tss, yan tayo eh. Anyway, thanks for dropping by, guys.
Me: hahaha! Np. Pagaling ‘ka. Ingat sa flight mo.
Les: Why you like that? It seems like it’s the last time to see you.
Me: Why? Malay mo, huli na ‘to. Haha. Aalis ka na eh. Who knows!
Les: I owe you a lot, you need to go with me on a shopping spree when I get out of here.
Me: ha? We’ll see. I hope wala akong klase. Lol.
Les: e di after class mo. Lol.
Me: Don’t want to.
Les: Bakit ka ganyan? What’s wrong with you?
Me: Nothing. Just don’t wanna get too close again, you know. Things are hard to deal with in times like this.
Les: I know I’ve hurt you, but it’s not too late to make it up to you, right?
Me: -_- Magpahinga ka na lang. Haha.
Les: Text me when you’re home.
Me: Can’t text you. I told you, my bill.
Les: Wait, I’ll ask mom to buy me load, so that we can talk through Facebook.
Me: Okay. Message me pag okay na.
*After minutes, Facebook message popped in.
Lester: Hoy Grace! ahaha
Me: Grace pa? Hahaha! :)) di ‘ka pwedeng mag OL sa chat?
Lester: Ol naman ako ah. haha what do you want me to call you then? Liit? haha
Me: Hahahahah! OL as in sa chat? Wait. I’ll check. Hahaha
Lester: Not so sure.
Me: Tagal mag reply. Hahahah!
Lester: my tummy hurts bad
Ahaha sorry naman hard to move with one hand lol
Me: Yan kase. Tigas ng ulo. Pagaling ka!
Lester: di mo kase ko kiniss di tuloy ako gumaling! haha jk! san ka na?
Me: Kiss pa? Hahahaha! Kailangan ako pa?! Ako na nga nagpunta, ako pa kikiss? Hahaha! Ayos, men. Hahaha!
Lester: choosy pa
Me: Hahah! Ako pa ngayon! Ikaw nga yon! Nahihiya ako sa mom mo kanina! Hahaha!
Lester: Ikaw naman talaga yung choosy jan eh. hahaha
My mom likes you haha
Me: Weh? Hahaha! Wag mo kong jinojoke! ano sabi niya?
Lester: Secret! haha
Me:Ano nga? Secret pa? Tss. Ano nga? Hahahah!
Lester: Waaala! haha just wish na I could get outta ths place, so we could go to movies on Saturday.
Me: I have Saturday class. Hahah! Ano nga sinabi ng mom mo? :))) Ba’yan! Secret pa? Hahaha
Lester: Haha wala nga. She likes you nga daw!
Me: Kanina secret tas ngayon wala. Hahahah! Paano mo nasabing gusto ako ng mom mo? Hahaha!
Lester: puwede naman after class ah
Bsta wag mo nang alamin, baka ikatuwa mo pa. haha
Me: Haha! Daya mo talaga no? Haha! Uyyy, don’t tell Kisha na dinalaw kita. I’ll be the one to tell her. baka magalit sa kin yon. I made a promise. Ngayon lang ako di tumupad sa kanya.
Lester: Tagal magreply! ahaha
Lol I already did before you got here. ‘Yaan mo, di magagalit yon.
Promised her what?
Me: Not to talk to you again. Haha! Ngayon lang ako ‘di tumupad sa kanya! Hahahah! Oyy! Baka mamaya may umaway nanaman sakin ah.
Lester: idk what to say really dko alam if you will still believe to what I say. pero para wala nang aaway sa yo. Sa ‘yo na lang ako. hahahahahaha!
Me: Seriously?? Baka yan nanaman tayo. Tapos, magkakasakitan lang.
Lester: Yeah seriously. I was so confused nung times na yun. Hindi ko alam sino pipiliin ko so yeah I just decided to forget everythng para mawala yung nararamdaman ko and yay success!
Me: then? What’s next?
Lester: Natauhan ako, sobra na kasi yung pangagago so I just stopped trying. Now I know you’re special to. Maybe 1st and 2nd try didn’t work out. Pero dunno. If you still wanna try one more time Me and you together?
Me: Agad agad? Hahahaha!
Lester: Do I take that as a yes?? hahahaha!
Me: Ano ba! Hahahah! :)) ayoko ng lokohan lesterrrr,
Lester: I’m not even kidding. this is even the first time I asked you that question.
Me: Teka lang. Na istress ako. Haha
Lester: And yeah please dont tell Dhee yet nor Camille. I just dont want them to think nega again. I’ll prove you something and i’ll be the one to tell them when I get to the States, k? and sino ba naman ang may gusto ng relasyon na lokohan anyway.
Me: Ano na?! Nagulat ako sa tanong mooo! :)) hahah! Ge, di ko sasabihin.
Lester: Ewan ko sa yo. Ikaw nga tnatanong ko tapos sasagutin o ko ng tanong din. lol. brb in 15 mins I’ll take a shower.
Me: Paano mangyayari sa tin? I mean, paano set up? Ang layo mo.
Lester: Skype. facebook? ldr teaches you to trust your partner even more. Dmaybe seperates us, pero thats not enough to stop ourselves to fight for what we feel right?
Me: Oo nga naman. So ano na? Ahahah! Yo! Di ka na sagot.
Lester: Bakit a tanong ka nang tanong eh ikaw nga tinatanong ko. ahaha
Sarreh doctor walked in.
Me: Hahahah! :)) Ge, mag-ririsk n naman ako. I hope magwowork na’to this time.
Lester: I’m bleeding.
Me: Nako! Ano sabi ng doctor??
Lester: Idk. Not paying attention. haha
Me: Kamusta na pakiramdam mo?
Lester: Eto nahihilo, tummy hurts bad.
Me: Kumain ka kasi. Baka naman nagugutom ka. Tss.
Lester: I did pero iba yung sakit nya eh. Parang pinipiga yung bituka.
Me: Aw. Ganyan daw talaga eh. Yaan mo, nasa hosp ka na naman. You’ll be fine. Sumunod ka lang sa sinasabe ng doctor. O ano na?
Lester: Omygosh this really sucks, I can’t tolerate the pain anymore.
Me: Tsk. nag-aalala ako.
Lester: Kidding! I love you.
Me: Haha! Hayy nako. :)) I love you too. Oooppps! Remember this dayyy! :)))))
Lester: Why? What’s so special today ahahaha
Me: What do you think?! :)))
Lester: The day you’ll say yes??! hahahaha! Hoy ano nga? haha
Me: Oo ngaaaaaaaa! Pakabait ka! Third time na ‘to! :)))
Lester: so you’re mine now?
Me: Oo na nga! Basta ba akin ka eh! Hahahah! Walang halong joke?
Lester: All yours baby!
*That’s how we became together. I didn’t hesitate to say yes although he has hurt me two times. I really love him.
Lester: Babe, you know what? I’m so happy having you. Now I can call you mine. I can officially call you mine.
*see how this man got me. He made me feel that I’m really important.
AUGUST 17 2012
Me: Babe, I’ll be there at 2 I think, I’m gonna go there with friends. They want to meet you, is it okay?
Lester: Sure babe, as long as you’ll be here. I’ll wait. Ingat ka. I love you.
* We talked. He holds my hand. He keeps on tickling me. We’re happy. The doctor walked in.
Doctor: Hi Lester! How are you doing?
Lester: I’m doing good, my tummy’s not aching anymore.
Doctor: Good. Where’s your mom?
Lester: She went home. Goin’ to be back before the sun sets.
Doctor: Oh, hmmm, so. I’ve read your results. Your platelets are improving, it’s now in normal count.
Me: so? Makakauwi na po sya?
Doctor: Yes, this night after he consumed his dextrose. I’ll let the nurse fix everything. Kindly tell his mom to talk to me when she gets back. Ayy! By the way Les, you’re not allowed to do extra activities, you’re not allowed to go on any sports and get tired for two weeks. Gonna make a medical certificate, so that there’s no need for you to carry your luggages at the airport.
Lester: Sure, doc. Thankyou.
Me: thanks doc.
*doctor walked out.
Me: Babe, narinig mo? Haha! I told you. Makakauwi ka na. Hahah! O siya, babe. We need to go. Ingat ka. Pahinga ka na.
Lester: I’ll text you when I get home. I’ll be switching to Globe so that I can call you. I love you, babe.
Me: I love you, too.
*We went out of his room. I waited for his text. Then the conversation runs like this.
Lester: Babe, I’m home.
Me: Ow! I love you babe,
Lester: I love you too babe.
Me: Babe! can I ask you something?
Lester: sure babe, what is it?
Me: di mo na mahal si ruffa? (His ex)
Lester: O my gosh really? You still wont believe me? Babe alam mo ang panget lang kase if youll let “akala” take over your mind. Hndi ako nagmamalinis i know i did somethng kaya ka nagkakaganyan pero kung lagng ganyan iisipin mo then wala tong magandang patutunguhan. And no is my answer.
Me: Sorry babe, tinatanong lang kita. Aalis ka na kase, parang ambilis lang. don’t mind me. Nalulungkot lang ako. May tiwala naman ako sayo eh.
Lester: babe, cheer up! Enough with the drama. I’m all yours. Bigwasan kita eh!
Me: are we gonna see each other tomo?
Lester: not sure babe, it depends on my feeling. If I can, then we will. I’ll update you.
Me: Let’s go to bed na babe? Its getting late.
Lester: okay, goodnight. I love you.
Me: I love you too.
AUGUST 18, 2012
Lester: Good morning babe! I love you. (4:45am)
Hey babe, I’m going back to sleep. Its too early. Txt me when you wake up. I love you so much <3 (4:47am)
Me: Goodmorning babe! Just woke up, i love youuuu! :* I’m going to Dewdew’s. I’ll text you when I get there. Text me when you wake up okay? :* I miss you.
Lester: i miss you too babe! But i guess di tayo matutuloy ngayon. Still not feelin good. Err.
Me: Awww. Sige babe, uwe nalang ako maaga. Pahinga ka nalang din.
Lester: sige babe.
Me: babe, I might go to tita mayette’s. (Lester’s aunt, bestfriend’s mom)
Lester: When? Today? Wanna come too but I feel awkward.
Me: Bakit naman?
Lester: they’ll know na we’re together, then sa States alam na. Ang awkward umuwi.
Me: Awkward pa? Sana di na lang natin sinabi. -_-
Lester: Eh, nahihiya kasi ko sa ginawa ko sa yo dati.
Me: Sus. Sa kin nga, wala na yun eh, bakit iisipin mo pa sasabihin nila. Wala na rin sa kanila yun. Pakabait ka na kasi.
Lester: I will, babe.
Me: babe, aalis ka na. :((
Lester: Aww! Babalik naman ako ah. Maybe it takes time pero its all gonna be worth it.
Me: Eh mamimiss lang kita babe. Ngayon lang nga tayo naging okay tas aalis ka na. :’(
Lester: Hay nako babe. Stop being like that pahihirapan mo ko niyan eh. It’s not like the end of the world. Cheer up!
Me: Eh ilang days na lan, Babe oh? :’( aalis ka na. Tapos di pa tayo masyadong nagkakasama. :’( iiyak naaa ‘kooo! :’(
*Im stating to cry. Then he texted me.
Lester: I’m doing this for our future. Would you want to marry a guy na walang pinag-aralan? Think about it.
Me: I know babe. :’( magiging okay din ako. Don’t mind me. Lilipas din to. Nalulungkot lang talaga ko.
Lester: Babe, don’t be sad. I’m leaving tas ganyan ka.
Me: I’m okay, go and take a rest babe.
Lester: Babe, wag ganyan.
*Di na ‘ko nagreply. I was crying that time. I was hugging Maica. I feel the pain. I don’t know if I could make it through years. Out of now where, maica texted lester.
Maica: Les, she’s not okay. She’s bursting into tears. I feel her. Sorry daw kung di sya makareply.
Lester: oww! Where are you at guys? I’m goin’ there.
Lester texted me.
Lester: Babe, text me the complete address, where you at? I’m goin there. Don’t wanna see you cry. It hurts me.
Me: *texted the address.
Lester: wait for me, I’ll be there at 1.
* I didn’t reply. He came at exactly one. He met dewdew’s mom. We had fun with maica and dewdew. We rtook a picture together and we had a foodtrip. Girlfriends interrogate him and he answers all. He keeps telling my friends how lucky he was for having me and how much he loves me. We went home at 8pm. Since it was raining and he has no umbrella, me and maica decided to go with lester. Since we’re on the same route, we both agreed. Lester and I texted each other.
Lester: Babe, thanks for the day. I love you.
Me: thanks too babe. I love you too.
Lester: babe, can you call me? I’m running out of batt. My mom wouldn’t give me my charger. I’m goin’ to ate ghei’s house.
* I called him. Nagpaalam sya, then pumayag ako. He went home at 12am.
AUGUST 19, 2012
Lester: Goodmorning babe! Sinave ko ung 2% nung batt to say goodmorning haha. Magkaaway pa dn kame ni mama still no charger ugh! Running out of batt. I love you.
Me: ge babe, just text me pag nakapag charge ka na. I love you too.
* I was planning to go to church with him but he was not texting ne that time.
Maica: hey, balita kay les? Makakasama sya?
Me: Dunno yet. Di pa nakakacharge eh.
Dewdew: Aw. I’ll go to his house, para makasama sya.
Me: weh? You sure?
*Dewdew went to lester’s house, but unfortunately she didn’t saw lester. Dewdew just decided to go straight to our house. We attended mass. (Maicae, Dewdew, and I) Before the mass ends. Lester texted me.
Lester: Babe, kakacharge ko lang. Sorry super late. I miss you.
Me: ow babe! Patapos na mass. Sana nakasama ka.
*ate ghei texted me. (Lester’s ninang, bestfriend’s cousin)
Ate ghei: Hey, birthday ng anak ‘ko. Punta ka.
* I texted lester right away.
Me: babe, ate ghei’s inviting me. :))
Lester: let’s come. She’s inviting me too.
*we met. We went to ate ghei’s house. I was surprised because he introduce me to his relatives although they’ve known me for so long because of my bestfriend, I really appreciate what he does. Telling them that I’m his girlfriend. After that, we went home. He told me that he wanted to meet my parents. I was nervous but I didn’t hestitate to agree. Hinatid nya ‘ko sa bahay. He met my mom and dad, my sister.
Me: mama, si lester. Boyfriend ko. Haha.
Mama: oh? Anu yan lester? Totohanan ba yan?
Me: Hay nako mama. Hahaha! Ayy! May papalam yan sayo ma.
Lester: Can we go on a date tita? On tuesday and friday? Gonna come back at 7pm on tuesday and 10 pm on friday. Gonna pick her at school on friday. Please tita. I’m going back to states on the 25th.
Mama: ha? Sige, basta sumunod sa usapan.
Lester: thanks tita.
*lester went home. Mom texted lester. They talked bout random things bout me. Mom see to it that lester is serious.
Me: Babe, mahal mo ‘ko?
Lester: Of course babe! I definitely do and always will be my love.
Me: Babe, wag kang makakalimot mag message sakin pag nasa states ka na ah!
Lester: Yan tayo eh. Di pa nga umaalis ung tao pinaghhnalaan na agad tsk.
Me: Joke lang babe. Alam ko naman na love mo ‘ko. haha! I love you babe!
Lester: I love you too! Girls are so unfair, pag kayo nagtampo it takes years, pag kaming mga guys. Lol, isang ilove you lang.
Me: Haha! Babe, why do you love me?
Lester: Words cant explain babe. Gusto mong abutin tayo ng pasko sa tanong mo? Haha
Me: K. Ang pbb teens mo pong sumagot. Haha! Lol.
Lester: babe, wanna go to sleep?
Me: Yeah. Kinda sleepy babe. Goodnight.
Lester: I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Lester: Hey babe, You dont know how grateful i am to have you in my life. Thank you for always being there whatever weve been through. I cant explain just how much thankful i am just being able to be with you. I stay if i really could but this isnt the time for it. I hope you understand. Please be strong for me as I am for you coz I hate to see you cry. I love you babe! Goodnyt!
Me: Sorry babe kung di ‘ko magawa yung bilin mo na wag na kong iiyak. Nalulungkot lang ako dahil aalis ka. You know how much I love you. Yes babe, i understand. I’ll support you all throughout. I’ll wait for you. Thats the only thing that i could do. Umiiyaaak akoooo! :’( babe naman eh.
Lester: Its hard to just smile whenever I see you, knowing Id leave you in few days. Im trying to be strong just to make you happy everytime so please wipe your tears cheer up and smile kay? Love you lots! Tulog na!
Me: Babe, tawag ako. Pwede?
Lester: Yoko. Don’t want you to hear me crying. Trust me pag nagusap tayo it will end na parehas tayong umiiyak. Dont wanna end the night that way. Cheer up babe!
Me:Gusto kita kausap. :’( pano ‘ko mag chi-cheer up babe? Ang hirap babe. :’( bukas, 5 days nalang. Naman babe. :’(
Lester: Baaabe! Just thnk of it this way, I love you and ill come back for you whatever happens okay?
Me: Opo. I’m tryin’ to be strong tulog na tayo. Goodnight.
AUGUST 20, 2012
Lester: babe, goodmorning. Goin’ to my doctor. I have an appointment, gonna be with mom later.
Me: ingat babe, I love you.
Lester: I’ll text you when I’m home.
Me: Sure babe, can I sleep again babe. Not feelin’ well. Head aches as well as tummy.
Lester: Sure babe. Take med na.
*nakatulog ako. Got texts at 1pm.
Lester: Babe, punta ko jan?
Lester: Oo nga babe! Wanna have quality time with you.
Me: Tinatamad ako maligo babe!
Lester: wag ka na maligo! Lol.
Me: wait. Gonna take a shower.
Lester: Sure babe. Lapit na ‘ko.
*Tambay sa bahay, bonding with sister, I brought him to my lola’s pad. Introduced him. He went home at 6.
Lester: Babe, im starting to realize how stupid i was letting you go for the first and second time. Babe sorry if im gonna make you tear a lil bit again. I just want you to know your importance to me. Babe, ill come back for you once everythng is settled promise. I love you thats all I really know. Hope every day left will be memorable to you. Love you babe!
AUGUST 21, 2012
Lester: Babe, gonna pick you up at 12. Be ready.
Me: sure babe. Gonna do my chores na, so that I can leave peacefully. Lol. Hahaha.
Lester: Babe, be ready na. Time is running. Don’t wanna be late. Haha.
Me: excited babe? Wait. Gonna take a bath. Lol.
Lester: what na? Haha. Hurry. Tagal.
Me: wait babe, nag aayos na.
Lester: papunta na ‘ko! Hahalikan na kita eh. Antagal ba!
Me: hahah! Lol. Wait.
*Lester knocked. We went to the mall, we watched a movie, we ate,we canvassed a couple ring and couple shirt, we’re planning to buy it on friday, we went to tita Mayette’s house, we went to tito Boyet’s restaurant (bestfriend’s dad, Lester’s uncle) then we went home. He went home at 8. This day was so memorable. I saw how much he loves me, the way he cares. The way he took care of me. I’m flying. I’m so happy. After this day, I can’t contact him the whole night. This is how it goes.
August 21: umalis kami ni lester ng around 12pm – 7:30, hinatid nya ko sa bahay then hinatid ko sya sa sakayan. We had fun time together, we’re happy. Binisita pa nga namin sila tita mayette eh. Then after that, around 8 di nya ko tinext. Then I saw a picture that he’s with my hs friend dewdew. Then I feel different, it seems that there something wrong happening. Then, tama ako.
August 22: lester: babe, just woke up. Goodmorning. Ako: san ka? Lester: I’m at home babe, whyy? Ako: wag ka ng magsinungaling. Wala ka sa bahay. Your mom texted me.
Wala pa si les bhay, di sinasagot call ko.– Lester’s mom
Ako: di ka pa umuuwe sabe ng mom mo. Hinahanap ka sakin, sagutin mo tanung ‘ko.
Lester: Anong knakagalit mo?? Dahl di ako nagpaalam? Whats the point eh di mo rin naman ako papayagan, besides paalis nko and you wont let me enjoy the remaining days?
Ako: Its not the point. Okay lang sana eh. Kaya lang si dewdew yung ksama mo. Hindi dahil wala akong tiwala sa yo, dahil wala akong tiwala sa kasama mo! Tsaka, explanation mo kailangan ko.
Lester: Explanation to what? I gave you all the answers you want.
Ako: let’s meet at 12. After my quiz.
Lester: sure. Teka, What’s wrong with having fun? I didn’t do anything wrong besides drinking. I was depressed bout so much things that was runnin through my head and alcohol seems to be the answer, you know I have problems with my mom recently and problems regarding my plan of going back and what’s up with you guys teaming up against Dewdew? Eh she’s actually your friend. So parang lumalabas na sinira ko pa yung friendship n’yo?
Ako: No. Hindi ganon. Di ba i told you nung nasa sinehan tayo, yung bout sa pag sama ni Dewdew sa mga guys. That’s why ganito kami mag-react. Nagseselos lang! Okay na?!
*si Dewdew kasi, pumapatol yun kahit kanino
Lester: It’s like you’re telling me that I’d do that to Dewdew too. Right?
*di ko na nireplayan si les.
Dewdew texted me.
Dewdew: we have to talk bebe, wag ka na umatend ng class mo.
Ako: sige. Saglit lang ha? Kase mag kikita kmi ni Les.
Dewdew: sama ‘ko.
Ako: tignan ko.
*nagkita na kami ni dewdew.
Nasa taxi kami on the way sa sumilang..
Ako: wala ka bang kailangan sabihin!?
Dewdew: sorry for last night, I was drunk. We we’re drunk. We kissed, we hold hands., we hugged.
*di ako sumagot, nung nasa bahay na kami nila les, kinausap ako ni les. Di daw nya sinasadya. Then ganto.
Ako: ano na? Para matapos na ‘to. Tangina, hirap makipag gaguhan. Talo talo na tayo.
Lester: di ‘ko alam isasagot ‘ko. I’m guilty.
Ako: you have to choose, pag ako umalis dito, you’ll never see me again. And after this, you’ll regret this. I’m telling you les.
* hinawakan ni lester kamay ‘ko, he locked the gate and dewdew’s out.
Dewdew waited outside, then dewdew texted me, “aalis na ‘ko.”
Then, lumabas kami ni les,
Ako: ano, wag mo kong daanin sa patingin tingin mo. Not this time les.
Dewdew: ano ba?! Wag mong pilitin si les mamili!!
Lester: sorry. Mali ginawa ko kagabe
*i called ate ghei right away, ate ghei told me to go to where she is. Then I went to ate patty’s house ( ate ghei’s friend) with lester. I told them what had happened, then ate ghei’s friends bought redhorse and empi. We talked about the matter, then ate ghei asked me to call dewdew.
*dumating si dewdew
Ate ghei: malandi ka nohh?!
*kinausap ako ni ate ghei.
Ate ghei: Kiss lang yun, makukuha sa toothbrush yon. Haha.
Ako: sakto, kakaglaing lang ni les sa dentist. Haha.
*lumabas si ate ghei, kinausap si les. After 10 minutes, ate ghei called lester. Tas pinapasok din ako. Ate ghei went out. Lester and i talk.
Lester: I’m guilty. Ansama ‘ko. Mali ginawa ‘ko. Sorry.
Lester hugged me.
I didn’t answer. Tahimik lang ako. Then, we went out. Si dewdew, nandun pa rin. Tigas ng muka.
*magkatext kami ni ate ghei, di kami makapagplano kase nandun si dewdew. Ate ghei and I went to school. Nagbayad kami Tuition, then pinagpaalam na nya ko kay mama na iinom kami. Pinayagan ako, since alam ni mama what’s goin’ on.
Pagbalik namin, lester was tipsy. We wait until lester became drunk, so that lester would tell us things that really happened last night. Around 7pm, pumasok si lester sa loob ng bahay, sa labas kase nag iinuman. Lester called me. I get in.
Lester: babe, tama na. Wag na tayong mag away, sorry, its my fault too kase pumatol ako, pero si dewdew yung unang kumiss.
*lasing si lester nyan.
Lester: ansama ‘ko, 3 times na to. After all the chances you’ce given me ganto lang igaganti ‘ko. I’m so sorry, babe. I’m really sorry. I was drunk.
* di ako sumagot, I went out then lester went out too.
After ilang shots ni lester.
Lester: ninang ghei, si vanna?
*tinawag ako ate ghei.
Lester: sorry. (He hugged me, he’s crying, di naman iyak kung iyak pero naluluha mata niya. Di ako sumasagot, I was just listening to his explanation.)
Lester: babe, I’ll talk your mom. I’m so sorry. Ang tanga tanga ko, ang sama sama ko. After all ng ginawa mo sa kin ganto. (Then, nagulat ako kase inuuntog niya yung ulo nya sa wall, he was drunk.)
Ako: Babe, ano ka ba? Umayos ka. Di ako natutuwa.
*then he pulled my hands, he’s asking me to slap him. Gusto kong umiyak, but he’s out of his mind. Sinasabe lang nya kung ano nararamdaman nya.
Pagod na ‘ko. Too much effort I put into this just to work. I didn’t do anything wrong. Talo talo ng kaibigan.
Di ‘ko alam kung kami pa, I went home because I was too tired, buong kalahating araw, I was just with him waiting for an explanation, but I didn’t get what I wanted to hear.
I’ve decided. I broke up with him. He don’t deserved me
Ate ghei: Wag mo na isipin c lester.. Sbi ko naman sa yo kanina di ba, hindi pa para magseryoso yun… Ask mo Maica bout that thing I told her before.. Magka-usap kami kanina nung nasa loob kayo ni Les. Basta intindihin mo yung pag-aaral mo.. Magtapos ka. Alam kong matalino ka. Pakita mo sa kanila kung ano at sino ang sinayang nila..
AUGUST 23, 2012
I met up with Dewdew and Lester, I’ll let Lester choose. He can’t answer. I’ll let Dewdew choose, Lester or the four years of friendship. She chose Lester.
It broke my heart. It’s not because Dewdew and Lester are okay, but because of what Dewdew did. She’s my friend. Not just a friend, a sister to me. Things runnin’ in my mind, what happened. I’m breaking again. Lester my boyfriend? Dewdew, my friend? The hell!
AUGUST 24. 2012
I broke up with lester. I didn’t know what to do, I’m numb. Can’t feel anything aside from pain. I wanna slap someone’s face. But I can’t. My parents never taught me to live that way. I’m full of anger. I don’t know how to surpass this. Gawd!
AUGUST 25, 2012
Lester: I’m leavin at 4. Check in at 7. Flight at 11.
Me: Okay. Take care.
Lester: (8:00pm) Flight cancelled.
AUGUST 26, 2012
Lester: ( 7:00) airport atm, waiting to board. Sorry for everything. Study hard. I’ll be back. I’ll be missing you.
*I didn’t reply.
Nasa States na siya. Until now I feel the pain they’ve caused me. I wanna forget this. No communication with Les. Friendship is over with Dewdew.
In time, I’ll be having my true man. I know its all God’s will. And in God’s time, everything will fall into place. And in time, I hope this anger will fade as well as memories.