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A Love that Never (Is) Was

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He mustered the courage to break the silence between them. As he was about to give his complimentary greeting, reality struck him. He didn’t know her name – or more aptly, he couldn’t remember it. What’s more frustrating was, he couldn’t remember where he met this woman. But he knew in his heart, they’ve met before. He backed down. He cursed again.

The rain was getting harder. He looked at her. He didn’t see any umbrella or any sort of rain protection in her. He had one. Opportunity was knocking on the door once more. They locked eyes. They smiled at each other, slightly and slyly. Then he remembered, he groped for his phone. In a matter of seconds, he was scrolling down the list of saved names and numbers. He stopped at a number, the name said JENNA. He dialed it. It rang. He looked at her. She had no reaction. He gave up. That was a stupid thing to do, he thought.

A few minutes later, she alighted from the vehicle. There was his chance to become her hero. But he was hesitant; divided – a part of him wanted to go with her and protect her from the rain with his umbrella, yet another part held him up. His butt was glued to the seat. He felt helpless as he watched her soak in the rain. The darkening surrounding swallowed her and the moving vehicle led him farther from her. There was his chance to take, but he didn’t. Little did he know that that incident led her away from him – literally and figuratively.

***********************************

About 5 months later at her friend’s apartment:

SHE: I hate you!! Did you know that I liked you before? And until now, I still like you. Why do you always have to enter my life at an inopportune time? You had your chance to have me, but you didn’t take it. Remember that rainy afternoon, the time that you let me walk under the rain?

HE: Yeah, I remember it. I wanted to talk to you and protect you from the rain, but I wasn’t so sure that it was you. Why didn’t you asked me to go with you?

SHE: You’re so stupid!!. You know that?

HE: I’m sorry!!

SHE: Sorry? That’s all you can say!!!? Damn you!! I hate you!! Stupid!!

She hit him. He let her. She broke down. He hugged her. She cried on his shoulder. He caressed her back, then her hair. She bit him slightly. He held her face up. She looked at his eyes. He wiped her tears with his hand. She smiled dryly, her dimples becoming deeper. He longed for her. She cracked opened her lips. He couldn’t resist the feeling swelling up any longer – he kissed her. She kissed him back. He hugged her, tightly. She caressed his nape.

They let their feelings out – feelings that they had held for a long time. They consummated what they had long wanted to do. Satisfaction was an understatement. Perfect! Yes, perfect was the word. At least, for 5 long minutes. And only. They both knew where they stood.

SHE: I have longed for your kiss for a long time.

HE: Me too. I don’t want this to end. I love you!!!

SHE: I love you too!!! But I can’t be with you. You know that.

HE: Yes, I know.

SHE: If only I were in a different situation, right now and here, you can have me. Did you know that because of you, I got into this?

HE: What? How’s that possible?

SHE: Because of what you did, or didn’t do, that afternoon, I got so mad at you that I couldn’t get over it for a few weeks. I felt really depressed and angry. So, one night I went to my boyfriend’s house. We had some drinks, and I got drunk. Then, it happened.

HE: Damn it!!

SHE: Did you also know that during that time, I wished you were him? And until now, I’m wishing that you were the father of my baby.

He slumped. He felt a ton of an invisible rock dropped over him. What a waste! Silence prevailed – a long awkward silence. He knew the inevitable. He had to do it. He had to let her go. He held her closer to him. He hugged her tightly – a goodbye hug. After all, he had a girlfriend.

********************************

Epilogue:

He met her at a school event. She was the friend of his best friend’s sister. He was a basketball player of their school. And he could still remember how she cheered for him whenever she was around to watch their games. Though they never verbalized their admiration for each other (at that time), he felt that there was definitely something between them. He was just too shy/cowardice to act on it. Then they had a falling off.

About 5 months after the jeepney incident was the birthday of her friend. Her friend invited her to the “party”. His best friend brought him to the “party”. The “party” was their MEETING. The siblings knew what they (he and she) felt for each other, and the siblings had thought that they ought to talk.

NOW: He is still single. He just broke up with his girlfriend. She is already married with two kids. But before her marriage and her second baby, they met again. But they couldn’t just get together for several reasons. He is still thinking of her, sometimes, and that fateful rainy afternoon.


  • maiko25ytol

    kung pag babasehan sa realidad may posibility na magiging sila sa huli kasi deep in their heart and mind mahal nila ang isat isa , kung both sila nsa isang relationship that would end eventually kasi alam nila kung sino talaga ang mahal nila, and hind mag woowrk ang isang realtionship kung alam mo mismo sa sarili mo na iba ang mahal mo, tsk! hmmm in GOd’s time, hindi pa yan end ng story nila 😀

    • vinz

      nice comment … yeah, the possibility is there, however, some things are just hard to ignore and take for granted … “the facts of the situation both are in” are not just things to be set aside lightly, at least if both have to live within the parameters of social norms … 🙂 …

      but with your comment, i might be encouraged to put an ending to their story … thanks … 🙂

  • jessa maria

    🙂 nice to see your article here too bro…i miss reading your stories…keep writing…

    • vinz

      thanks … 🙂